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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

About this decorator?

29 replies

BloodyHouse · 10/08/2023 22:07

We’re in the middle of (bloody stressful!) renovations at home. We had some quotes from decorators and having been let down last minute by one we had booked in (confirmed in writing), we needed someone to start asap so asked each one If we were to go with them, when they would be free. One man looked in his diary and gave us a date. We said we ideally wanted earlier than that and he said he’d pencil us in for then. We said we’d see. He then gave a quote and left. It was very expensive and we chose not to use him so that was that. We had the same with some others. One messaged to ask what we had decided and we told him we had chosen someone else who could do the work sooner. We never heard from this man. This man came on 23rd July and we had heard nothing. Until tonight. He phoned me and asked were we still on to start next week? I apologised and said there must have been some misunderstanding and that we had chosen to use someone else. He said ok but the issue was that he had now bought all the paint for our job! I was in the middle of an appointment so apologised again and said my partner would call him back. I texted my partner who called him within a few minutes. He said he’s really angry and has spent £180 on 3 x 10L tins of paint. My partner said we never agreed. He left the quote with us and that was it. He disagrees and said we agreed for him to do the work. We had never had chance to discuss the quote and he never called before he bought the paint. He says there was an offer on so he took advantage of it and bought the paint. What would you do!? He kept saying he had never had this in 30 years. We are reasonable people and want to do the right thing here, but what do you think is the right thing?

Thank you!

OP posts:
BloodyHouse · 10/08/2023 22:10

Oh I forgot to add, he said on the phone he had almost bought the wood paint too and was glad he hadn’t, then at the end was saying, ‘I’m not sure if I bought the wood paint too actually-I might have done’.

OP posts:
Move22 · 10/08/2023 22:10

I think he’s trying it on, surely he can return the materials and get a refund.

TregunaMekoides · 10/08/2023 22:12

If you didn't accept the quote either verbally or in writing then there's no contract.
He should have bought the paint AFTER making the call confirming you were still on for the job.

londonrach · 10/08/2023 22:12

Just be glad he not working for you. Lucky escape

LaurieFairyCake · 10/08/2023 22:14

Well 2 choices really - he can return the paint or you check with your decorator whether he's/she's already bought the paint and if not you buy it off this bloke?

painochocolate · 10/08/2023 22:16

Buy the paint off him and give it to the person who is doing the job?

UpaladderwatchingTV · 10/08/2023 22:19

Just tell him to take the paint back. If he's a proper tradesman, he will have accounts at the places he buys from, so just needs to take it back and they'll knock it off his account. Sounds to me like he was trying to pressure you into giving him the job. I would also ask him to prove that he has a contract with you, if he can't prove it, then tell him to take a running jump!

BiscuitsandPuffin · 10/08/2023 22:19

I disagree with most other posters so far. You agreed a start date even if you were being all hinty and vague about things "we'll see" but you agreed he could "pencil you in" so I really think you should have contacted him and told him you weren't using his services. No decorator in their right mind would buy all the paint unless they'd been left with a good idea that they were doing the job. I think given that another decorator also gave you a follow up call to find out what was going on that your communication was unclear with all of them.

BloodyHouse · 11/08/2023 08:51

BiscuitsandPuffin · 10/08/2023 22:19

I disagree with most other posters so far. You agreed a start date even if you were being all hinty and vague about things "we'll see" but you agreed he could "pencil you in" so I really think you should have contacted him and told him you weren't using his services. No decorator in their right mind would buy all the paint unless they'd been left with a good idea that they were doing the job. I think given that another decorator also gave you a follow up call to find out what was going on that your communication was unclear with all of them.

We have had many many tradesmen in for quotes for various works during this renovation and the norm has always been for them to leave a quote and we got back to them if we wanted to go ahead and use them for the work. Occasionally one has messaged to follow up asking had we had chance to consider the quote like the one I mentioned but mostly we have been left to decide and get in touch if we wanted to go ahead.

Thanks everyone. The work is almost finished now so no need to buy the paint and he says he can’t take it back as it’s mixed to our colours. Still not totally sure how to proceed. We might ask to see the receipt for the paint and if he can show it, offer to pay half and buy one of the tins for another room we still need painting? We considered having him just do this one room but his quote for it is just far too high to justify it.

OP posts:
Hummingbird89 · 11/08/2023 08:59

Nah, he is trying it on. I don’t know if any tradesman who buys materials without taking a deposit. YANBU.

TregunaMekoides · 11/08/2023 09:08

BloodyHouse · 11/08/2023 08:51

We have had many many tradesmen in for quotes for various works during this renovation and the norm has always been for them to leave a quote and we got back to them if we wanted to go ahead and use them for the work. Occasionally one has messaged to follow up asking had we had chance to consider the quote like the one I mentioned but mostly we have been left to decide and get in touch if we wanted to go ahead.

Thanks everyone. The work is almost finished now so no need to buy the paint and he says he can’t take it back as it’s mixed to our colours. Still not totally sure how to proceed. We might ask to see the receipt for the paint and if he can show it, offer to pay half and buy one of the tins for another room we still need painting? We considered having him just do this one room but his quote for it is just far too high to justify it.

No! Don't let him guilt you in to this, unless of course you said more to make him think he was booked than you've indicated in your OP.

If he "pencilled" you in, it is not an agreed start date, it's a provisional start date subject to confirmation. He commenced work (ie purchased the goods required) without that confirmation. This isn't your problem. If you actually need the paint, by all means, offer him what he paid for it. But otherwise don't feel guilty. He should never have had paint mixed to your colours before verifying that the job was still going ahead.

TJCar · 11/08/2023 09:10

I think this is a classic case of miscommunication from both sides. The decorator should have confirmed it was a definite job, not a pencilled in job, before he bought the paint. But knowing the decorator had blocked time in his diary to potentially work on your job you should have let him know that you had definitely decided not to use him.

I don't know how to resolve this, but there are faults on both sides. Ultimately you can tell the decorator to do one, but he's left out of pocket. Or you can come to a compromise agreement where you at least pay for the paint and keep it to freshen things up when it starts to get mucky.

User63847484848 · 11/08/2023 09:13

Is this the one that pencilled you in?
I can see how there could’ve been a misunderstanding although it was mismanaged on his side.
can you reimburse him for the paint and use it, if he can’t return it (not sure why he wouldn’t be able to).
it’s unfortunate if he did block out his diary for you but he will have to learn from it to confirm in writing. I don’t think he should be out of pocket for the paint though and surely you still need it.

User63847484848 · 11/08/2023 09:14

In general it’s also polite to tell tradesman if you won’t be going ahead after you get their quote.

Leftphalange100 · 11/08/2023 09:18

I think he has jumped the gun slightly by buying g the paint which he can hopefully return

However I think you had poor communication. When he said he would pencil you in, you should have said not just now thank you. Or if you allowed him to pencil you in, you should have contacted him when you decided to go with someone else.

I bet the messages would be interesting to see

SoupDragon · 11/08/2023 09:19

He shouldn't have bought the paint but I do think you should tell tradesmen that you won't be using them rather than just ghosting them. People complain all the time when tradesmen don't get back to them.

BloodyHouse · 11/08/2023 09:23

Leftphalange100 · 11/08/2023 09:18

I think he has jumped the gun slightly by buying g the paint which he can hopefully return

However I think you had poor communication. When he said he would pencil you in, you should have said not just now thank you. Or if you allowed him to pencil you in, you should have contacted him when you decided to go with someone else.

I bet the messages would be interesting to see

There are no messages to see. He literally phoned me to say he’s be coming out to quote the same day he came, then came round and phoned me again last night, 3 or so weeks later, to say are we still ok for Monday. Not one message between us, just those 2 phone calls.

OP posts:
BloodyHouse · 11/08/2023 09:24

SoupDragon · 11/08/2023 09:19

He shouldn't have bought the paint but I do think you should tell tradesmen that you won't be using them rather than just ghosting them. People complain all the time when tradesmen don't get back to them.

I agree that you’re right on this. We just followed the whole, ‘Here’s the quote, let us know if you’d like to go ahead’ type pattern we’ve had. But I do agree now in hindsight that we should have done this to be absolutely clear.

OP posts:
Forgoodnesssakewhatnow · 11/08/2023 09:25

Did he have your exact colour choices to get the paint mixed?

Leftphalange100 · 11/08/2023 09:26

Ah ok I was thinking if it was messages it would be interesting to see how he has came to the assumption he has the job.

I think technically you don't owe him anything. He should have made sure the.job was going ahead before buying materials if it wasn't confirmed.

But I do think allowing him to pencil you in has led to misunderstandings.

MinnieGirl · 11/08/2023 09:31

You hadn’t agreed to have him do the work. He had pencilled you in but no firm commitment from either side… yet he buys paint specifically for your requirements without a firm agreement? No way! He’s trying to guilt you. I suspect he had a job fall through and now wants to do your work.

Stand firm. You didn’t have an agreement and he shouldn’t have bought the paint. That is entirely down to him and there is no way you should pay.

Tell him firmly that he had not given a firm agreement to do the work and you are not paying for paint you didn’t ask him to buy. I doubt very much it’s mixed and as he now seems to think he might have bought the wood paint, I would be very suspicious.

MinnieGirl · 11/08/2023 09:33

BloodyHouse · 11/08/2023 09:23

There are no messages to see. He literally phoned me to say he’s be coming out to quote the same day he came, then came round and phoned me again last night, 3 or so weeks later, to say are we still ok for Monday. Not one message between us, just those 2 phone calls.

So he’s checking you are still on for Monday, yet he’s already bought specifically mixed paint? That sounds very dodgy to me…..
Hes trying it on..

BloodyHouse · 11/08/2023 09:34

Forgoodnesssakewhatnow · 11/08/2023 09:25

Did he have your exact colour choices to get the paint mixed?

Yes. He asked what colours we were thinking when he came to quote and we said they were a particular brand and he’d never heard of them so asked me to repeat them and wrote them down, saying he was sure that would be no problem. He was very old school, in his 60s, really dithery and pernickety, wanting to write every detail in his book before he quoted. I assumed it was just how he was and he wanted to know the paint so he could quote for it (as opposed to just cheaper plain white etc), not so he could go out and buy it! 😬

OP posts:
GoodChat · 11/08/2023 09:42

He pencilled you in and you never said you weren't going with him. You should have told him as he'd booked a date.

kweeble · 11/08/2023 09:43

If he thought you’d agreed with the ‘pencil you in’ comment he didn’t understand clearly that you were getting a variety of quotes.
You should have responded to his quote; I think you owe him for the paint in the circumstances.