Ex-partner of a few years and dad to my DD (14) sort of went of rails 2.5 years ago after the death of his best friend (suicide) Before this, he would go through periods of secure employment, earning a fair amount sometimes, and paying a fairly decent amount of child maintenance (although this was never a consistent / permanent amount and there would be periods of nothingz whilst ive always worked) Just before the death of his friend, he chose to "take a break from work", the death then happened, and he has not worked since due to bereavement and his mental health (having now not been in employment for just over 2.5 years) He has had a very traumatic upbringing and has been in and out of foster care all of his life (parents in prison, severe neglect, DA, parents were drug users) I have recently learned that since the death of his friend, he began using drugs (ketamine and cannabis - although never around DD) He moved out of the area 1.5 years ago into a city a couple of hours way, near some of his extended family and is now member of AA / NA, helping to deliver meetings and is over 1.5 sober, and allegedly now in a good place mentally. He has seen DD a couple of times since the move, travelling back here and taking her out for a couple of hours. For the past couple of months, he has starting paying £30-50 per month in child maintance, deducted from his state benefits and he has also started sending DD pocket money - which annoys me as I already give her pocket money and I just think that extra money could go toward her school lunches. I think it annoys me most as in her eyes, he is providing for her / playing disney dad (which is so far from reality as i'm really struggling) He has also said to me on numerous occasions that he is "not ready to go back to work yet, so can't pay more". Am I being unreasonable to feel angry about this?? I work full-time, and also work an additional part time at the weekend. I have also started an etsy shop and have applied for part-time study in September to uspkill (not to mention doing numerous prolfiic studies) I am exhausted and money is a huge struggle and I can't physically do any more. He does not have to worry about any form of childcare and never has, he is free to work as and when he wants. Even though DD is now just old enough for childcare to not be so much of an issue, I've always been the one to juggle it, having to plan half terms months in advance / miss work due to sickness etc . He previously only every bothered once every other weekend (despite him making threats of going for full custody) I am pleased that he seems to be in a good place mentally and is now sober, but I cant help feeling angry that he has moved away and has barely bothered with DD for the past couple of years, and entirely shirked his responsibilites (financial, emotional and practical) I go through phases of feeling really angry and resentful toward him. I also then feel sympathy toward him due to his past trauma, experiences and childhood. I then go through phases of indifference, and I try to not focus on it so much. He has also said to me recently that it's my "choice to work, and his choice not to work" this is when I get angry as I really don't have a choice, as I am solely responsible for our child. Is anyone in a similar situation? Am i right to feel annoyed sometimes? Or is my anger unjust ?