To be sad DC prefer DH

[Goforththenorth]

Caveat to say DH is a brilliant, hands on father and supportive partner.

Two DC, 7 and 5. Eldest doesn’t really have huge parental preferences, but I feel close to him. He went through a noticeable “daddy” phase when I was pregnant with DC2 (had HG so was out of action for weeks on end) but that was years ago and he seems to love both of us equally now. He likes his own space, loves a bedtime cuddle and kiss but if watching TV or playing legos, likes to be left alone.

DC2, also a DS, has had a huge daddy preference since he was about 18 months and it shows no sign of wavering. AIBU to be genuinely sad about this! It’s always “daddy do it”, “not you mummy” etc. When it’s the two of us he’s fine, but if I’m taking him somewhere and elder DS staying with DH, 90% of the time he asks to stay with DH. He’s just now shunned me to the other room so he can watch a Pixar movie in peace!

All my friends’ DC seem to have huge mummy preferences. It makes me really paranoid!

I don’t think your being unreasonable for being a bit sad about it but my youngest DS is daddy mad and I think it’s lovely. Also, I’m not sure your 5 year old should have the power to ban you from a family space! 😬

Would you think I’m pathetic if I tell you me complying is part of my strategy to be less needy and hopefully he’ll love me more @JumbledE 😂like playing hard to get!

I think if my eldest was mummy mad I’d feel a bit less like the loser parent. But he sort of loves us both but at 7 (nearly 8!) likes his own space too.

My youngest has always been a "Daddy's boy" he even brought cards home from school with just to Daddy on them. I found this hard when he was younger but he is less obvious in his dad worship now that he's older. In my heart I still know dad is favourite and I'm ok with that. My oldest is the complete opposite.

@Goforththenorth I don’t think your pathetic but maybe you are overthinking it a bit…

Mine prefer their Dad too but I know they love me very much and I like to focus on that it means I can go out and have independence without them being upset and clingy.

I have zero mum guilt. I’m not sure whether the fact that they love being with their Dad so much is a factor, but it probably is.

I was always a Daddy's girl. My Mum was/is a pretty mean person when she wants to be, but that's honestly not why I preferred my Dad. He always understood me and, even when I'd done something he disagreed with, I always knew he loved me no matter what. We used to have the most amazing, deep conversations and he was never shy about revealing his deepest self to me, and vice versa. He was truly my rock in life. No matter how bad things were, I knew I could always count on him. He died last Christmas Day and it was the worst thing that's ever happened to me - I miss him desperately and it just gets worse the more time passes. I love my mother, but I really don't like her as a person. However, I look after her now because I know Dad would be so disappointed in me if I didn't.