Husband telling family about pregnancy

[beehappy19]

Hi
I’ve recently had ivf and last week had a positive pregnancy test result. Obviously it’s still very early days and I don’t want to tell anyone yet. I’ve told my parents about the ivf as we have a little girl and we needed my parents support throughout the treatment and have shared the news of the positive test with them as they knew we were having treatment. Nobody else knows we have done ivf as I don’t feel comfortable sharing.

My husbands dad and brother are coming to stay this weekend and he has announced he wants to tell them I’m pregnant moments before they arrive!! I am furious as I’m not comfortable sharing this news until I’ve had a scan. He says its his feelings and he should be able to tell them as I’ve told my parents.
His family live a few hours away so we don’t see them often but we are going to stay with his family at the end of the month when I will have had a scan so I’ve said we could tell them then even though that’s still a bit early but it’s a compromise. He’s not happy with this!
Am I being unreasonable?

I’m sure others will disagree but I think you are yes, he should be allowed to have someone to talk to and get support from too. If your family didn’t no either it would be different.

I think if you’ve told your family he should be able to tell his.

I agree with@TeaKitten

Yeah, sorry - if you’ve told your parents, he should be allowed to tell his.

Since your parents know, I think he should be allowed to share with his. We have a similar situation with needing one set of parents help with fertility treatment childcare, so we have agreed that we should each be able to share with the close family members that we want to.

I agree with the above posters; it's one thing if you're not telling anyone, but if you're telling your family he should be allowed to tell his family too.

YABU. If your parents are allowed to know and offer support to you, his parents should be treated the same. They will want to support their son the same way your parents are supporting their daughter, surely?

Unless there is a back story of them being interfering or monstrous.

I think if you can tell your immediate family (parents, siblings), then so should be be able to tell his immediate family (patents, siblings). They aren’t just anyone. I’d rethink the ivf sharing. People understand it better these days and how much of an ordeal it is on you.

Agree

So it's just your news then?

Congratulations but yeah yabvu

He has the right to tell his family if you've told yours. I'd be clear however that it's early days so not to get excited and that they can't tell anyone else.

Yeh definitely sounds like my issue. Thanks everyone! I didn’t feel like this with our daughter’s pregnancy it’s just I’ve been on an emotional rollercoaster the last couple of months and I don’t believe it myself yet so don’t want to discuss it with everyone. No his family aren’t particularly supportive so probably won’t care anyway

It's his news as well, your parents know so it's only fair he gets to tell his.
Congratulations.

Yabu

I understand how you feel because of course an early pregnancy is the woman's medical information as much as anything, and generally no one has the right to know someone else's medical details.

However, unless you have an issue with his family, I think you'd be being unfair. It's important news to your husband and it sounds like he hasn't had their support throughout the ivf (which while obviously harder on you is emotionally hard on the man as well). I think it's reasonable of him to want to share it with them now.

I disagree with many posters, it's you that is pregnant, not him. (Absolutely hate all the 'we're pregnant' bollocks. Usually spouted by men.)
I think in this instance your feelings matter more.
Just seen that this thread is a couple of months old and presumably everyone knows now anyway.

The majority says you should let him tell them but I strongly disagree. Your parents have been involved throughout, his haven't. It should be your decision not his. Your body, your choice.

It is his child too you don't own news