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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

… to give up work

14 replies

Thriv3 · 10/08/2023 14:42

Looking to get other viewpoints here.
I have 2 young children, pre school age. My mortgage is paid off due to some investments I previously made, and I have decent savings. My partner works full time and is happy to use earnings to pay all bills and food etc. We would like to have a bigger house in the future, however, with the current climate, happy to hold off on this. Would it be frivolous to cut down one income for the next 3-4 years?

OP posts:
goldensquaresofjoy · 10/08/2023 14:43

I would go part time tbh. Once you stop completely it's very hard to go back

CatherinedeBourgh · 10/08/2023 14:44

It wouldn't be frivolous, you only live once and it's a great time to spend with your dc. However do take into consideration the effect on your career, if you possibly can cut right down but keep a toe in the water professionally so you don't have huge gaps in your experience.

3edt1134 · 10/08/2023 14:45

It would be very sensible. Looking after preschool children and a home is incredibly hard work and is made easier if one parent is at home or v.part-time.

goldensquaresofjoy · 10/08/2023 14:46

CatherinedeBourgh · 10/08/2023 14:44

It wouldn't be frivolous, you only live once and it's a great time to spend with your dc. However do take into consideration the effect on your career, if you possibly can cut right down but keep a toe in the water professionally so you don't have huge gaps in your experience.

I think it probably depends on your career but this is what I'd consider in mine.

LimeCheesecake · 10/08/2023 14:54

You say partner, not husband. As you own the house outright (I hope in your name) then you’re in a stronger position than many woman, but if your partner left, how easy would it be for you to get back into your career.

Original poster
Thriv3 · 10/08/2023 15:01

My job is currently nannying. So I could be a child minder, but I really want to spend my time raising my children as I have given so much to other peoples children over the years.
The house is in both names as we bought it together and paid off the Mortgage together for 5 years. I then came into money and decided that was the best use for it. It’s meant we can save much more each month. However, our house isn’t huge or fancy. And one day it would be nice to have a bigger house. I just need to decide if I can justify spending that money. My wife carried and is currently on Mat leave, so with life being too short, we are thinking of me giving up work for the next few months until she returns. Then I’ll not work until the kids go to school.

OP posts:
Gobimanchurian · 10/08/2023 15:08

Echo previous posters about part time, depends on what your career is and how easy re-entry would be after a career gap.

I think keeping your hand in and upto date with skills, knowledge and the market is wise.. Thinking long term about your career, pension, future mortgagability when you go for that bigger house in a few years time etc.

I had 3 under 3 (twins arrived when DD was 2) and dropped to 3 days for a few years, when my wage just paid nursery fees plus bills, then 4 days, then full time. I'm now in a senior role with a decade of my own and employer pension contributions under my belt and am glad I stuck with it (albeit it was tough at times for sure!)

MariaVT65 · 10/08/2023 15:15

I would definitely go for it, or at least go part time. I found working full time with 1 child horrendous, i’ve dropped 1 day but if i could, i would take a break for a while. I often read people have trouble with childcare during school holidays etc.

2mummies1baby · 10/08/2023 16:58

As long as you are married, and therefore would be entitled to money if you divorced, I would absolutely go for it if you can afford it. My wife and I are also lucky enough to be able to survive on just her salary for a few years, so I have decided to not work until our daughter goes to school (we only want one child, so means I will have about 4 1/2 years out of work in total). As a nanny, you will probably find it a breeze to only look after two children, especially as they are yours! Nannying is also a job that it will be very easy to get back into after a career break to look after your own children, as you've essentially been doing the same job without being paid for it.

Hankunamatata · 10/08/2023 16:59

Your a nanny so something you can easily step back into. Yes I would take the time in your situation

Dixiechickonhols · 10/08/2023 17:04

You say partner then wife. Marriage has implications in this scenario see CAB guide. For example you aren’t paying into a pension if you aren’t working but only have ability to share her pension if you are married and divorce.

TregunaMekoides · 10/08/2023 17:06

Personally i would always opt for both parents part time over one giving up work completely for myriad reasons.
In your situation however you sound like you have your own financial security so why not, if it's it what suits.

TravelMumBum · 12/08/2023 09:30

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

xyz111 · 12/08/2023 10:53

I wouldn't give up work, but mainly because I don't want to be solely responsible for running of the house if my partner was working full time 😂

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