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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Would you consider this a breach of non molestation order?

11 replies

FeelLikeAnEtonMess · 10/08/2023 09:27

I took out a non mol order against my ex last month, one of the terms of the order is that he isn’t allowed to harass or intimidate me and contact is only allowed via email to arrange contact for our dd or to discuss financial issues regarding our house.
I had an email on Tuesday, saying - ‘sort it out, they keep sending me letters’ with lots of ! And ridiculous emojis.
I have also received another email this morning - ‘I'm off to be served my papers from court the smorning!! I'd like to say a big thank you from me and all the family for making the last year a living nightmare .I'm still waiting on a reply from u about mortgage payments!!!!!!!!!!!’
Would people class this as harassment and a breach of the order?

OP posts:
IamnotSethRogan · 10/08/2023 09:30

In no way a legal expert but, while these emails are unpleasant, if he's allowed to contact you via email I'm not sure where you stand because both emails do have a reference to sorting the house out

WannaBeRecluse · 10/08/2023 09:30

The first one, not necessarily if it's about financial matters that you are neglecting. The second one, yes. He should only be contacting you about necessary topics with facts, not attacks or grudges being voiced.

Howtonamechange · 10/08/2023 09:31

I'm sorry you've had to take out a non molestation order against your ex.

Without the back story it's impossible to say for certain.

It sounds like the mortgage thing needs a reply and you haven't responded. Is there another channel he should be going through-- like a solicitor or something? If not, I would say no.

Gerrataere · 10/08/2023 09:35

He’s definitely toeing the line with the ‘year of hell’ stuff, but if you haven’t given vital info re the repayments then anyone would be frustrated - dickhead or not. If you are giving him required information on time and he still uses the medium of email to vent his frustrations on you then yes, it would be harassment.

FeelLikeAnEtonMess · 10/08/2023 09:51

Just to say I don’t respond as I have had the house ready to be put up for sale since January, the estate agent and I are just waiting for my ex to sign the papers and let us put it up for sale.
I have made it clear to him 100 times that I want to sell, and I refuse to pay the mortgage, so he has to as he is withholding on the sale. He is fully aware on my intention with the mortgage, I couldn’t make it any clearer to him.

OP posts:
FartSock5000 · 10/08/2023 10:17

@FeelLikeAnEtonMess non-mol orders are hardly enforced at the best of times.

Report him anyway. Build up that paper file so when he does break it (and he will because he is a knob) you can go to court with your mini mountain of evidence and they will hopefully act.

FeelLikeAnEtonMess · 10/08/2023 10:21

FartSock5000 · 10/08/2023 10:17

@FeelLikeAnEtonMess non-mol orders are hardly enforced at the best of times.

Report him anyway. Build up that paper file so when he does break it (and he will because he is a knob) you can go to court with your mini mountain of evidence and they will hopefully act.

Thank you, I will report it and see what happens. At least it will hopefully go towards building up a case against him.

OP posts:
JudgeJ · 10/08/2023 10:25

FeelLikeAnEtonMess · 10/08/2023 09:51

Just to say I don’t respond as I have had the house ready to be put up for sale since January, the estate agent and I are just waiting for my ex to sign the papers and let us put it up for sale.
I have made it clear to him 100 times that I want to sell, and I refuse to pay the mortgage, so he has to as he is withholding on the sale. He is fully aware on my intention with the mortgage, I couldn’t make it any clearer to him.

Is the mortgage in both names?

FeelLikeAnEtonMess · 10/08/2023 10:29

JudgeJ · 10/08/2023 10:25

Is the mortgage in both names?

Yes, it is.
It really isn’t the point of my thread though.
I was asking if people thought it was a breach of the non mol order, not for peoples opinion on my mortgage.

OP posts:
PandaGrump · 10/08/2023 10:29

There is no need for him to write about the financial matters in that tone, so it’s skating on thin ice. I’d remind him of the terms of the order and ask to send factual emails only. However I would also suggest you respond factually on the financial queries e.g. as I informed you on X date (copy email attached) I am waiting to hear from you about X , you to action X etc.

BlossomCloud · 10/08/2023 20:01

PandaGrump · 10/08/2023 10:29

There is no need for him to write about the financial matters in that tone, so it’s skating on thin ice. I’d remind him of the terms of the order and ask to send factual emails only. However I would also suggest you respond factually on the financial queries e.g. as I informed you on X date (copy email attached) I am waiting to hear from you about X , you to action X etc.

This.

And sorry he is being so unpleasant

I asked the court to order us to use Our Family Wizard app instead of email
It means I can control when I see any unpleasantness from my ex , and you can pay for an add on that prevents them using unpleasant language etc (it doesn't prevent more insidious unpleasantness though )

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