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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel embarrassed

17 replies

Hihellothereitsme · 10/08/2023 00:24

A guy from my past got in touch recently. I was in love with him tbh. Had really strong feelings with him but I was always on the back burner and then he left me hanging and came up with an excuse to stop seeing me. I was hurt back then. he said he wants to try again and that he is trying to make an effort and he said he wouldn’t even be entertaining this any further if it was any other girl but I don’t want to get hurt again by him. He doesn’t get why I’m cautious to go and see him again and asked why I am ‘nervous’ . So I sent a message explaining and he stopped replying. I’m embarrassed

OP posts:
GrumpyOldCrone · 10/08/2023 00:26

He’s a wanker. You’ve dodged a bullet.

Azandme · 10/08/2023 00:27

Don't be.

He sounds like he was leading you on in the hopes of some easy fun, and when that didn't happen he disappeared. A decent guy would know why you were cautious.

You don't need to be embarrassed, he should be ashamed of being a dick.

Lucky escape!

Aquamarine1029 · 10/08/2023 00:28

He was looking for an easy shag. He's a shitbag. Good riddance.

Dotcheck · 10/08/2023 00:29

He’s not answering because you didn’t fall over yourself because he contacted you

MoutardBlanche · 10/08/2023 00:38

So you had your doubts about him and you were right. He’s not worth expending all this energy on. Don’t give him the headspace or any more control over how you’re feeling. You know he’s not worth it.

Smineusername · 10/08/2023 01:08

Yeah it's not cool for him to leave you hanging. If his motives were correct he would have no problem with you taking things slowly. Sounds like he's playing games/after an ego stroke

Fraaahnces · 10/08/2023 01:11

Booty call… The past is a country you can never return to. You can only move to the future.

Mothership4two · 10/08/2023 06:34

He should be embarrassed not you OP.

He doesn't sound very respectful. Personally I would avoid.

Oobidequatzen · 10/08/2023 06:38

Agree with the above, he should be embarrassed, not you! Please don’t feel embarrassed over his actions.

autienotnaughti · 10/08/2023 06:44

Agree. If he genuinely cared and wanted to make a go of things he would be checking on you , making sure your ok. Taking it slow and proving himself. He hasn't done that he's made some declaration, (most likely hoping it would lead to sex) didn't like the response and ignored you. Thats hardly him making an effort

Hiddenvoice · 10/08/2023 06:48

I think you’re right to feel uncertain on him. If he truly cared and wanted to be a part of your life then he was be far more understanding and would go at a pace you were happy with.
Instead he’s pushing himself upon you and thinks you should just accept it. I also don’t like that he’s commented that he wouldn’t do it if it was another girl, he really doesn’t need to compare or mention other girls.

The problem is he doesn’t see that he’s upset and hurt you in the past. He sees you as someone who will always be there. Sorry to say that I think he will use you again and ultimately hurt you.

CamelSilk · 10/08/2023 06:50

He sounds emotionally immature OP. Well done for being upfront and honest - you made him show his true colours.

Hibiscrubbed · 10/08/2023 07:02

He was only after a shag. He knows you were a ‘safe bet’.

You don’t need to be embarrassed for revealing, essentially, that you finally see through his bullshit. He should.

TheBrightestStarInTheSky · 10/08/2023 07:12

He's probably sent that same message to all his exes, trying his luck. See him for what he is, Mr Unreliable. I wouldn't have even bothered replying.

Thepossibility · 10/08/2023 08:48

Sounds like my ex.
And then as soon as he has you, he'll lose interest. Usually after a shag.
If you were meant to be together, you would've stayed together.

trulyunruly01 · 10/08/2023 08:50

You'll probably get another message from him in a few months when he's at a loose end and fancies a booty call.
"I never replied because you obviously needed some space to process after your message"
Avoid the BS and block. Leave the past behind you as Timon says.

10HailMarys · 10/08/2023 08:53

There’s nothing to be embarrassed about. He’s an arsehole and you’ve done the right thing. He’s shown you who he is. Block him.

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