At what age do you think children benefit from nursery

[Emeraldrings]

I don't want this to turn in to a nursery bashing thread but I do want to ask at what age do you think babies/children benefit from nursery? I don't mean just enjoy being there but when they actually start learning and benefiting socially from being there.
Would I be unreasonable to remove my son if I felt nursery wasn't benefiting him? He's actually 3 but is more at the older baby stage (so probably around 18 months with no guarantee he'll progress). I can't decide if nursery is a good idea or not, especially if he might not progress like his peers.

I used to work in nurseries and I wouldn't say there's any benefit until they're at least 2 years old. Before then babies still need mum and a nursery can't replicate that. I know lots of mums have no choice but if they did have a choice I definitely wouldn't recommend putting them in as a baby because they don't get anything out of it and staff will fluff the details of their day because they don't want to risk losing a customer.

My kids have never been to a nursery or a school, they are confident when it comes to talking to adults,playing with peers, etc- i notice times are changing with parents wfh many decide to home ed their children, its great cant imagine it any other way,we get to spend a lot of time together,for example when other kids return to school we will be going on holiday for 3 weeks in september, we prefer it that way no queues anywhere etc. Perhaps trial taking your child out and see how it works out for your family?

Not sure there is any point asking a general forum asking this question when your DC has special needs. It's a totally different ballgame...

DD1 (severe ASD) was in nursery from 11 months and I do not think there was any benefit - she would have been much better off at home with me 1:1. She had no speech, no interest in peers no staff for intense 1:1. she was usually outside on her own on a trike when I came collect her. In the end of the day, I had to work, I had no help or support network. Bills needed paying. looks like your situation is similar so don't beat yourself up. We can only do, what we can do.

I currently have a two year old who comes home having learnt loads from nursery. She has been there since 9 months and like others the benefit was almost immediate. She gets to experience lots of things we don’t do at home - daily messy play, large garden equipment, circle time in a group , interaction with older and younger kids

Mine went to a childminder from age one to get the at home child care and nursery from 3 until they started school at 5.

From 3'they were following the early years curriculum (Scotland) which prepares them for school at P1.

Autistic people get very overstimulated (one of my kids is autistic) so I can’t see that nursery would be enjoyable for them from that point of view.
Personally, I’m not a big nursery fan anyway. My kids went to school without it and didn’t cry etc as they were all nearly 5 when they started so we had a strong bond, they had no separation anxiety and they could tell the time so they knew when I’d be coming to collect them etc.
I do get that nursery is useful for other things but I know that my autistic child, even now at almost 18, is exhausted by busy surroundings and happiest when engaged in quiet, solitary activities.

I have an autistic child who loved nursery and it was actually good for her because she was non-verbal at the time, and it taught her other ways to communicate with her friends. This helped massively when she started school because she was able and willing to communicate with people, and then as her speech came in those friendships deepened. DS has ADHD and nursery has been a godsend for him because they tailor activities to use up his energy productively. ASD is such a large spectrum but by and large I do think nursery can help - you just need to find the right one.

I think there is little point comparing with neurotypical children. You’d potentially get better advice from people who have had similar additional needs to contend with and pros/cons. I’d imagine it would be easier within a nursery v home setting to access support and get things in motion before school.

The research says 3. Mine benefited much earlier. My eldest had a best friend in the baby room but that isn’t typical.

I think it's very child dependent and not just about age but developmental stage (which is obviously linked to age but not always).

DD1 probably from around 2, I would say.

DD2 I think will be a bit earlier due to her temperament; she loves group settings, lots of activity, she's incredibly active so enjoys having a climbing frame etc inside in nursery. She's about to turn 14mo and seems to really love being at nursery, we've entirely skipped the crying on drop-off phase we went through with DD1. Whether it's benefiting her or not in a developmental way I can't say, but I don't think it's worse for her than being at home either way, just different.

Ours went from 10 months, enjoyed it from the start and I felt really benefited from about 2 when they started to play more with the other kids (DC1 hit this stage a little earlier than DC2).

But in the case of SN I think you just have to trust your gut. What would the alternative be? If he is likely to start at mainstream school, is it worth him being used to the busy environment of a nursery room to help with the adjustment even if he isn't gaining socially? Would a different setting have more time to develop his language skills? Very hard for anyone to advise tbh.