Can't discuss this with anyone in real life . A friends son who I am very close to (unofficial God parent type thing) has just got engaged to his long term girlfriend. Gorgeous, happy news. They got engaged in Barcelona. All lovely. But my ltr broke up because he didn't want to marry me. He had gone back and for lying to me and promising. He had even told me that he was proposing in Barcelona and booked it, until a week before when he said he had changed his mind and wouldn't be. We didn't end up going to Barcelona as I was too upset but I limped on in that relationship for another 2 years!! After the gut punch of the reminder this morning, it's led me to think why on earth did I stay??? I used to read threads on here where people would say to other posters in a similar circumstance "just ask him" and I would think "no way I could do that, he would say no" and yet I still stayed ! I feel like banging my head on the table at my own lack of self esteem and that I didn't get out sooner.