Is it possible to stop heavy drinking on your own

[seaveg]

Simply that?
I am sick of it. Sick of tiredness, lack of productivity, money wasting , weight etc.
I drink because I am lonely and have a very sad and stressful life. At night. On my own.
My youngest hates me drinking wine. Says it makes me drunk in comparison to beer.
That's enough for me to stop.shes14.
Can I do this in my own?.
How do you fill the hole of loneliness in the long winter evening.
What else can bring that temporary lift, the temporary break from the mind and life of a sad and stressed single
Mother.
Im
Going to do this. I just don't know where to start.
It's summer holidays for me that escalates it. Drinking wine or beer most nights. Maybe two nights off a week.
Can you advise me please .

I would say yes if you really want to.
I dud years ago.
The main thing that changed everything was to change my routine and start a new habit at the time I would have a drink. For me it was 9pm when everything was settled. My mind got used to the routine of kids, chores, relax drink.
Instead of sitting down I did something else. I can't remember what maybe bake for pleasure, read a book in a different room. It doesntvmatte what it was it was just doing something different.
However. If you are really struggling reach out to dedicated support services who are marvellous and will give you all the help they can.
Good luck with your journey.

Thank you so much . I really feel like it's a habit. An association. I've never missed work, never compromise on finances, my relationships are good . I'm just bloody sad and lonely and ot gives me a release, a break , a lift .

How much are you drinking every day? Can you work out the units online? If you're drinking 30 units per week or less you could self detox. It may be safer to self detox with support from your GP. If you are drinking more than 30 units then you should definitely seek medical advice and support. Never stop drinking suddenly if you drink dependently or if you've had alsohol withdrawal seizures in the past. Here's a good website with advice on how to self detox:
https://www.wearewithyou.org.uk/help-and-advice/advice-you/how-safely-detox-alcohol-home/

You are more likely to be successful if you get support from friends and family and/or a mutual aid group such as AA or Smart.

I remember when my dad gave up smoking he said the same, he had to break the association, so after every meal where he'd normally sit and smoke he got up and tidied the kitchen so he was up and away from the table.

Like the above poster said I think you need to change your routine and do something else, bake, crochet, go for a walk, anything other than what you normally do.

Good luck 😊

It's absolutely possible if you want to. It's not easy but nothing worth having is! My 2p worth - you need to look at the reasons behind why you drink. Often it's a coping mechanism and when you stop you're left with the reasons behind why you drink without how you've been managing it. I would look at support groups etc. Depending on how much/often you drink there maybe withdrawal symptoms. If you're a heavy/regularly drinker I would seek support from services as suddenly stopping can be dangerous but this does depend on whether its tipped into addiction.

I've been clean for 14yrs. I live a really happy healthy life without any mind/mood altering substances. I still socialise etc. It was by far the best thing I've ever achieved for myself. Have a look on the alcohol support threads there's loads of support on there and no judgement.

I could
Drink seven bottles of wine a week
Over 4/5 days

Very simple
Dont buy it
Get something like sparkling elderflower instead- much is habit of holding a glass

So you are drinking 10 units per bottle if it's a 750ml bottle or 70 units per week. Do you suffer withdrawal symptoms if you don't drink? I would suggest you discuss with your GP as you may need support with withdrawals and also a Thiamine prescription.

I take b vits, milk thistle, dioralyte , d bits and a tonic everyday. No with drawbacks whatsoever . I drink loads of water through the night.

Yes it’s possible! Do you use social media? There’s loads of great sober influencers on Instagram.

Sassy sober mum is a good one.

Also podcasts or quit lit (books on going sober) . It massively helps to hear experiences of other people and you don’t feel so alone or like it’s only you.

Get your fridge stocked with yummy alcohol free drinks, I really like Nozecco and alcohol free beers.

Can you go walking in the evenings instead? So you’re not sat at home.

It doesn't sound like you need detox at this time, but you could still utilise your local substance abuse centre for counselling and help.

C&P of previous posts of mine:

If you need to address the phyical you cannot do it alone. But it doesn't need to be as scary as you think.

You can in fact have a free (bar prescription costs) at home detox/rehab on the NHS.

You have to refer to your local substance abuse centre. Some will let you self refer, some may require Dr referal.

They should be able to offer support.

You can find them here www.nhs.uk/Service-Search/find-an-alcohol-addiction-service/location.

Avoid CGL they seem to direct to Detox UK who will charge. If you struggle to get free help, these can help: Dear Albert can help: www.dearalbert.co.uk/nhs-alcohol-detox/.

I did around 3 months counselling once a week prior and again after. 10 day at home detox with family support.

The medication made phyical withdrawal smooth and easy to the point I didn't have a single side effect.

Yes it’s possible. I was a really, really heavy drinker and stopped as a single mum working full time after a final straw weekend where I slept with two totally unsuitable people and realised I was putting myself at risk. That was 15 years ago, I stopped stone cold and haven’t drunk any alcohol since. But you do need to completely change your mindset. I had to completely cut people off, those who also drank a lot and when I met my now dh he was teetotal (just through choice, not because he drank too much) and that helps as well.

Yes you can stop on your own, it is just a habbit. I know this will go against the grain of many people on here, but I go through phases of drinking at that level (have for many years) then i'll stop for a bit or cut back, just to make sure i can and give my body a break. I don't have any physical withdrawals. It can be hard (I enjoy wine - good wine enyway, i'm fussy!), in the same way as stopping smoking is hard (ex smoker also) or dieting is hard (yo yo dieter here too).
Filling the void is hard, especially when you are by yourself and lonely, I've also been in that position. Long evenings ahead of you whilst kids are in bed. Maybe try to reduce your drinking and just drink 3 nights a week as a start. All or nothing can be extreme. Or go on a health regime (if you need to loose weight) its really diffcult to shift weight when dribing wine, so that can be a good motivator.

I had a similar epiphany a few months ago.

My weight was on the rise.
My wine bill was huge.
I didn't like that I'd become someone comfortable sinking 5-6 bottles in a week.

I stopped drinking weeknights. Changed to g&slimline t on weekends.

I was never choosing no alcohol, but I knew my consumption had reached a place I really wasn't happy with.

Wishing you all the best as you begin to cut down.

Yes you can do it, and it sounds like you have reached the point where you really want to do it.

Like pp have said, you need to break the habit of being in a particular situation at a particular time when you normally have a drink. Also having something to do with your hands helps. Knitting was good for me as you have to concentrate and you can't just put it down like if you are scrolling on a phone.

I used to have 0% beers so I still had that ritual of sitting down and having a drink, but that has worn off over time, and I'd rather have a bottle of fizzy water these days tbh.

What I will say is, after more than a year of not drinking, that feeling of wanting a drink, that lovely woosh of relaxation as it hits the spot after a shitty day, hasn't gone away. I look at people drinking in beer gardens on a lovely summery day and want to join them in their silly, light headed joy. But, I get distracted and that feeling goes away, or I have a minute to think about how crappy I would feel the next day, how much money I would spend, the rubbish snacking and food choices I'll make when drunk, and come to the conclusion that it's not worth it.

I think that knowing I'll get these feelings, and being able to just let them sit for a minute and then forget them, is a real power.

Some PP said it, look at why you are drinking first.
I beat an addiction a few years ago, not alcohol.
One thing helped me above all else was, one day at the time. Don't stop all together, you drink 7 bottles? This weeks goal 6 bottles. Today you messed up? It's fine, dust yourself off tomorrow will be a better day !
It is absolutely unreasonable to expect to not make any mistake.
I (imo) think being sick of it, is the best start, you know you are unwell and you are strong.
You can do it, it will be hard but oh so rewarding.

I am giving up drinking wine, I love it but it's just too strong & once I start I carry on until i'm very drunk

I'm not giving up drinking completely but swapping wine for beer which is a lot weaker

Thanks.
I really appreciate having this safe space to discuss this as I am too ashamed to tell my closest friends so...
I drink because ...
I have a huge void in me that started due to lack of love for my exh. I didn't love him but I really thought I did and wanted to.
He refused to stop needless twelve hour shifts at work and enable me to job share so I raised my kids on my own, some with sn. I ran the home and patented solo while working full time and travelling.
I really resented him for that so the love died fast.
I tidied up at nine and the wine would open.
I would be elated.
Kids in bed and that lovely warm feeling of the escape.
He didn't love me and didn't really talk to me. The loneliness was crippling.
He had ana fair and left . It was easier with him gone. Loneliness remained but I had no one to share the sitting room with or talk to at night. And no one to monitor me drinking.
I met a wonderful man, didn't live together as I dont want that and my drinking curtailed naturally when together.
That ended so I was back on the sofa again with my trusty wine.
I have a huge void where I crave romantic love and companionship but I'm not in a position to have that really.... just chatting on line to some men with an odd date.
This is why I drink.
A hunger for being loved.

This is a thread which might interest and help you
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/alcohol_support/4861596-those-who-are-long-term-sober-are-you-happier-than-when-drinking?page=3&reply=128284940

I stopped drinking wine 2 years ago now and I'll never drink it again. I was absolutely addicted to it and if I didn't have any in the house it would give me The Fear. Drinking it made me sick and gave me heart palpitations but I still continued. I got an ap called Try Dry where I logged my baseline level (at least half a bottle of wine, 4 beers and a spirit and mixer on a week night, often more, definitely a full bottle on Friday, Saturday, Sunday) and slogged it out for a month with 0 alcohol. The first 2 weeks were horrible and I was in a foul mood but after then I was like oh! I don't want wine! And I saved just the most ridiculous amount of money.

I think you can do it if you set your kind to it, OP. I cant recommend it enough. I still drink a nice IPA but no more wine for me, ever again.

@seaveg Please check out Through the Glass Podcast. They also have an amazing facebook page. It has saved my life and my relationship

I don't know if it's possible if you're a heavy drinker but the drink aware app has really helped me to cut down.

I used to work my way through about 3 bottles of wine a week and seeing that written down on the DA app really helped me to stop reaching for 'just one more glass'.

Now down to about 10 units, one bottle over a week and it's made me feel loads better.

Also a friend joined AA but because she couldn't face going to classes she joined initially online and just kept her camera and audio off. She gradually built up to being able to go in person and she's now been sober for over a year.

I cut back a lot just by brushing my teeth immediately after dinner as a signal that I was finished eating and drinking for the day. Changing my habits rather than focussing on why I was drinking. Haven't given up altogether but drink a lot less and less often.

Then I had to find things to do when I would have been drinking but it is amazing how much extra you can get done in the evenings when you're not drinking - go for a walk, new hobby for you or spend time doing something with DC.

Yes you can because I did. I drank 1/2 sometimes 3 bottles of wine a day. I can't stand alcohol so much but I do slip up if something bad happens I try not to though as I have my child now

But it's never 1/2/3 bottles it's a glass and I still feel bad.