Can I just pull myselfTogether. Am I not trying

[Holdupman]

After a really difficult last few years I am now struggling to do anything
I have severe aches and pains everywhere
migraines
and I feel so depressed I just can’t get out of bed
my mum who is in hospital being cared for says that I can and I’m just making it up.
I don’t know what to do as I truly feel like I can’t and I can’t physically do what I am being asked to do anymore
I have thoughts of just giving up but I can’t because I have a dd who is older

I'm sorry you are having a bad time.

Do you know the cause of your aches, pains and fatigue?

If you can't then no amount of anyone telling you to just get on with it will help.

Get in touch with your GP, it might be depression but it might be any number of things. Be honest with them and don't downplay anything.

How old are you OP?

Go to your GP and get a full check up if possible. For example, Anaemia, Vit D deficiency, thyroid issues could all be linked to your physical symptoms and all can be fixed. Make sure there isn’t physical cause. If there isn’t then explore support for your mood like anti-depressants.

You're not well. Go to a doctor. Our mental health is intricately linked to our physical health. Your mother does not know what she is talking about. Why would you want to make yourself ill and miserable on purpose?! Get some help x

Do you have a lot of stress and trauma? Do you worry a lot or have anxieties and depression? It could be body absorbing all that shutting down.

Go to your GP, get some bloods done, and ask for a referral to a rheumatologist. The fatigue and aches could well be something autoimmune, and rheumatologists are well versed in weird non-specific illnesses that GPs often dismiss.

Of course you can't just pull yourself together. Your mother is being cruel and I suspect has form for this which could be contributing to your current health. See your GP as PPs have suggested and get some help for both your physical and mental health. There is help out there for you to be able to feel better

If you can
Google hypothyroid symptoms and note down any you have
Google B12 deficiency symptoms and add any of those that haven't already appeared
Google Vit D deficiency and add any more symptoms that come up
Add anything else you can think of - even if you don't think it is related
Take them with you to a doctors appointment. Preferably in order of how much they are affecting you. (EG Stress, Pain and Lethargy first).
Tell GP you've written them down because you would forget some if not - don't mention Google - many hate patients to do that.
Don't worry if you cry when at the GP, that's common and totally understandable.

OP how old are you? Some of this sounds like peri/menopausal.

@Holdupman you sound incredibly depressed. Please see your GP asap and tell them everything you’ve said here.

When you say you have thoughts of giving up, what do you mean?

If your DM is being cared for you can set her aside for now and concentrate on yourself and your DD who I’m sure loves you. You can get through this and be well again but you don’t have to do it alone.

I'm sorry you are feeling this way. I agree you sound like you are depressed. Are you on antidepressents? I didn't want to go on them but after years of feeling pretty much like you describe I did and it helped such a lot. Also, yes do all the checks for low vitamins. When you're deep in the pit it is so hard to take action to get out but please know you can and that things will get better.

I am not a doctor! Speaking from personal experience!

Depression can manifest itself very physically op. I really feel for you as it’s a horrid thing to experience and really saps your belief in yourself.

Go to gp having fasted overnight. Get them to do blood test to rule out thyroid, anaemia, excess of iron, inflammatory markers, meno symptoms etc or any other issues, and try and find physical explanation.

If not you might well benefit from an anti-depressant.

But best first to make sure that your diet, sleep and exercise are all in good order because it’s harder to be depressed when those three are functioning well.

If you are too depressed to do above, take an AD to start. But maybe visit menopause specialist too.

Instead of lying in bed, if you possibly can, try and do something creative every day and spend some time in nature. And try and get signed off work to give yourself a break from stress.

Also, we know you are not making it up. We hear you and are rooting for you.

Thanks I got out tiday and tidied but now I’m sat here and I’m back to feeling like I can’t breathe again

You are not making it up. Either there is a physical cause (like vitamin deficiency, etc), or this is a manifestation of your body needing a rest after the tough time you've had. Either way, I would go see a GP, and be kind to yourself. You've been out today, so relax this evening.