Where the heck can we meet

[Saymynameandeverycolourilluminates]

Group of friends and 6yo kids, known each other since DC were babies.

Things have gone a little sour recently no idea why! I’ve lived nearly 7 hrs away since 2021 so don’t see them all as much sadly.

we always try and have a big’ish get together in the summer either a big day out or garden party with us going back visiting to be able to do this for the past two years.

It is always the same two people that host (me when I lived there and another woman) last summer we took an Airbnb and hosted there - staying with family this yr and no one else has offered (everyone has enough room and financial capabilities).

So a multi attraction has been suggested.

Now the older kids are at school and we all see each other so much less and summer hols in full swing a ‘big day out’ to an attraction just doesn’t hold as much appeal to me, we’ve been off since the beg of July and I’m knackered and DC won’t play with any of the other little ones as it’ll be a new place to them so they will want to explore and do own thing and in a big attraction type place I’ll spend my time keeping eyes on them rather that chatting with my friends.

To add insult to injury the weather now obviously looks terrible so an attraction with soft play has been suggested.

Great. Firstly both DC get ill every time and I mean every time they go to soft play. Normally not bothered (as they love) if we haven’t got anything on the following week but we’re jam packed inc visiting my grandparents who both have cancer, then back home and straight into new school uniform shopping for the youngest starting school this month and a wedding next Sat.

Also this particular place is an abomination it’s dark, obviously a cacophony of screaming kids but they also insist on playing dance/pop music v loudly. So no way we’ll get to talk. 7 hrs feels like a very long drive to go to a soft play like this.

Even when it’s a nicer venue these big days out always seem a little fraught and given there’s already a bit of atmosphere I don’t think this would be helpful.

Ive said I’m easy but do not want to go to soft play. It has been met with silence.

Before terrible forecasts One of the other ladies suggested a family pub - there are lots of nice independent ones with really good outdoor Play areas about 30 mins away (the soft play with attraction is about 40 mins away). This also met with meh response - I think this would be great but out now due to rain.

I know it’s hard when don’t know exact area but can anyone help with indoor suggestions?? What sort of place would work? 5 adults 8 kids 2.5-6. I’m stumped.

I just don’t want to drive 7 hrs to go to soft play or wrangle DC round attractions - I can do that on my doorstep!

Why not leave kids at home with partners and just the grown ups do something? Far easier to chat/catch up in a civilised pub/restaurant without having to have one eye on the kids.

It’s tricky and realistically you’re not going to get to chat properly wherever you meet

I’m not sure where else would work apart from soft play on a rainy day or someone’s house?

it would also annoy me that you said you’re easy and then no soft play (so obviously not easy then!), sorry!

Your best chance of chatting with them if you’re all intend on bringing kids is either pub with play area if it’s not actually going to be raining, or if it is going to rain then maybe something like soft play then back to someone’s house and they stick a film on for the kids.

It doesn't sound like anyone's overly enthused about meeting, or have I misunderstood?

I agree with above, leave the kids at home and have a proper catch up - afternoon tea somewhere nice maybe?

Yup, the mass gathering doesn’t sound sustainable, now. You’re a million miles away and everyone’s priorities change. It would be mad to travel so far to do something you don’t want to do, just out of sentiment.

Presumably there are one or two of the parents you’re closer to? Maybe meet up with them once or twice a year when you’re in the area. (Do they never travel closer to you?) And as for the wider group, let it morph into a WhatsApp group. There’s no need to strain after the past - let it go.

I'm not sure I would be doing a 7 hour trip for a day anyway, seems madness! Sometimes you just need to accept that it's too difficult when you all have kids to meet for a day like this.

I just don’t want to drive 7 hrs to go to soft play or wrangle DC round attractions - I can do that on my doorstep

Don't go then. It all sounds miserable any way. It doesn't sound like many are that bothered by the meet up and that the friendships are fizzling out

I agree, if friendships are already a bit precarious then do something different. As others have said, leave the kids at home and just the friends meet. Or would it work to rent somewhere for a few days over Christmas and host then. Sometimes you just have to accept that arrangements are too difficult and try another time.

The only other idea would be to go to a cinema and then a family pub afterwards- the kids can go to the cinema maybe supervised by one adult, and the other adults can chat in the coffee shop, then everyone can go for lunch. The adults need to pick the films though (or if any child really objects they can download something and watch it on a device).

I agree an attraction in these circumstances sounds pretty dire, it will also be pretty expensive.

Get your wellies on and find the nearest National Trust place. Lovely walk and picnic if rain holds off. Kids get to run around and parents can chat.

I think having to travel so far would put me off bothering though.

What area are you going to? What about one of those role play village type places?

Something like those big trampoline/inflatabounce places?

Thank you for the responses so far.

sorry @ZooMount just to clarify we're staying for 4 nights, we are primarily going this particuar wk for this but we will catch up with other friends and family whilst there, however we have seen most recently.

We've always done regular adults things too and try to every time i'm back but couldnt make it work this time, a couple of the Dads are shift workers so not always easy, also despite all now going to different schools and me being so far away and another now over an hr away the kids all play so lovely together, it seems such a shame to pick a venue that wouldnt encourage that.

Interestingly other woman who always hosts did so at Feb half when we were back and it was such a fab day with kids playing so well but the women who seems hell bent on attraction actually didn't go due to wk, another of the Mums picked her DC up and brought them along so she's perhaps not seeing that there is a lovely friendship blossoming.

And yes I do agree our friendship may be fizzling, or doesn't seem to have progressed (odd one seperate friend maybe needed actually for insights 😂)

@Heronwatcher sadly they're not quit there with the cinema yet, but pivoting to Xmas was actually on my mind, we don't go back until the 9th Jan 3 wks off in total, so would be a nice interlude.

Why are you even bothering ? Whys it tense? It is OK to let some friendships fizzle out with no hard feelings

@GoodChat there are a couple of amazing ones but they only do parties on a weekend, sob, bloddy thinkng about it we should have thought about this as with siblings we're a good no now.

@IamnotSethRogan I do/did really like them. I am really not sure, nothing I can pin point and it's a shame, seems to have happened in space of last quarter, I don't think friendship by whatsapp is all that helpful which is why it would be really good to have a little bit of chat time in a more relaxed setting.

@SissySpacekAteMyHamster one of the other mums suggested this early on and attraction Mum vetoed. This would be perfect.

@RudsyFarmer probably same with the noise also in think there was a trip last yr where one got a bloody nose, enough time might have passed to re float tho 😂.

Unfortunately I think you dropped a bollock when you said you're easy, but don't fancy Soft play and then didn't offer an alternative.

If I had made the original suggestion but my friend had responded like you I wouldn't be bending over backwards to accommodate you much I'm afraid.

Once the one thing that almost everybody was on board with has been nixed, it's difficult to get the momentum going again

@LadyOfTheCanyon I said exactly why I didn’t fancy it - absolutely do not want the kids ill next week and listed the reasons why. Would have been happier had we had a clear wk - we don’t. Some pretty important things. That said 14 hrs is still a lot of driving to go to a soft play! Also only 3 people responded re soft play one of which was me!

How about hiring a village hall, a bouncy castle and ordering pizza? It’ll be a bit more than soft play but potentially not ridiculous cost. I’ve done that before for a big meet up.

Where are you meeting? If you’re near a city then go to an art gallery or a museum - lots to look at, lots to entertain the kids, a nice cafe afterwards

I think 8 dc aged 2-6 on a day out sounds the very opposite of a relaxed opportunity to catch up with friends, whatever the venue! I feel tense about it on your behalf (flashbacks of trailing behind 2yr old at adventure playground for the whole afternoon while the others enjoyed their picnic!)

As pp have suggested, could you get a child-free afternoon organised, then the adults could go somewhere nice for lunch?

@Approaching yes this is what we probably should have considered but too close now I feel 😞

@watcherintherye yeeessss you can see why I’m not awfully keen on that straight of the back of a loooong car journey.

im bloody attractioned out as well, we’re on wk 5 of the hols here!

When mine were that age we used to have breakfast get togethers at a Brewers Fayre restaurant. It's £10 for an adult buffet breakfast and up to two children eat free with each adult. There's usually a small soft play area, so between that and helping themselves to muffins and fruit juice, it kept the children occupied for a couple of hours so we could chat to each other!

We've also hired the village hall for a couple of hours. Everyone brought their favourite games (garden games were good with all the space available!) and some food to share. It was fun for the children and there was plenty of time for the adults to catch up as well.

I get the feeling attraction mom finds it difficult to manage her children alone at these things so wants to take them somewhere but with other adults to help her out