To be upset by my Mum's comments..

5 replies

groovychickY2K · 08/08/2023 23:49

My mum always seems to criticise me. She never has anything nice or positive to say about me.

My 2 year old little girl is currently being tested for a form of epilepsy and tonight's comments were "you don't send her to bed early enough, she shouldn't be awake at this time (8pm) that could be the cause of the episodes she's been having she's tired"

We've been in our house 5 years, never done anything to it apart from paint the 20 year old kitchen during lockdown. I said we're getting a new bathroom suite and her response was "you must be loaded.."

She never wants to spend time with me, or I have to organise it and pay if we do otherwise she complains. Never just comes for a cup of tea. I adore my dad and like to go and see him but she just makes being there miserable.

AIBU in taking this to heart? Or expecting too much of her?

OP posts:

Restinggoddess · 09/08/2023 00:08

How do you respond when she says these things? What happens then?

Best answer to any bull shit is ‘That’s not true’ - can be respeated a number of times and even with a smile or a laugh but repeated and repeated

Epilepsy because of a late night - response ‘ that’s not true’
must be loaded - response ‘that’s not true’

Its a simple powerful comment - not much she can say to that

determinedtomakethiswork · 09/08/2023 00:14

She doesn't deserve you. She's treating you badly and if I were you, I would keep my distance. I certainly wouldn't be paying for her to do anything with my family.

RobertaFirmino · 09/08/2023 00:58

Has she always been like this or are these comments a relatively new thing? No, I am not going to suggest dementia! You are, however a woman in her prime and I wonder if your mother is resentful of this? Also, can you take your dad out to the pub or for coffee at all? Might be a bit nicer.

Lindsey99 · 09/08/2023 10:48

I have a mum like this and it is so depressing. Best thing I did was stop contact as no amount of gentle explaining its effect on me changed her behaviour. Don't be afraid to do the same for you and your daughter x

northernstars · 09/08/2023 10:50

@Restinggoddess I'm very long term NC with my dad but God I wish I'd read your post 30 years ago - genius.

Flip