Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

Original poster

DH always using TV as his computer

24 replies

NoKnit · 08/08/2023 21:42

Ah so need perspective.

I usually prefer to watch live TV or have no TV on at all and just read a book or sometimes surf around on my phone.

We have a smart TV all that jazz I'm not tech savvy can't use it except for a bit of Netflix or iplayer. I'm not that interested in it. Husband has a small computer connected to TV and in the evenings he just sits next to me on sofa whilst I read and just reads the news on the Internet on our (only) TV in the living room. Blooming flashing and the clicking of the mouse drives me crazy. I just want either light TV on in background whilst I read or nothing at all. We've a pretty open plan house so no other room or area I could have a sofa to sit and read. I don't particularly want to sit upstairs in the bedroom on my bed every evening to read nor on a dining room chair.

I just mentioned it to him and he has now gone upstairs to the study (well his study mainly where he has normal computer and where he works from home a few days a week on a whole other computer) in a huff saying he wants to read the news.

It drives me batty just having the Web browser on our (rather large I admit) living room TV.

We also have a laptop he could use on the sofa I guess that wouldn't be as intrusive . He is sulking and I assume will just sit up in his study next few nights sulking about it and I'll never get to see him.

It's not me is it? Am I unreasonable?

OP posts:

Original poster

NoKnit · 08/08/2023 21:44

We also have wireless mouse and keyboard that just floats around on the sofa also drives me a bit potty. Don't even get me started on the blooming games controllers but they are also my sons

OP posts:

DustyLee123 · 09/08/2023 06:43

No, he’s being selfish. Off to the study he goes.

KrisAkabusi · 09/08/2023 07:39

I can't see the difference between the effect of him reading the news on the TV and him just watching the TV? Flashing?

CheshireDing · 09/08/2023 07:42

That would drive me crazy the clicking and flashing whilst I am reading a book

maybe whoever is in that room/sat on that settee first gets first dibs on the ‘activity’ ?

GrumpyPanda · 09/08/2023 08:00

CheshireDing · 09/08/2023 07:42

That would drive me crazy the clicking and flashing whilst I am reading a book

maybe whoever is in that room/sat on that settee first gets first dibs on the ‘activity’ ?

Nope that's no good. The flashing and noises op describes aren't community compatible. Second person comes in - off with it.
Also, it's perfectly feasible to read the news on a tablet.

calmcoco · 09/08/2023 08:02

Problem solved he's now gone to the study.

Xrays · 09/08/2023 08:04

Difficult one because it’s kind of irrelevant what he’s using it for (although yes I can’t see why he can’t just use an iPad / phone to read the news!) - it’s as much his tv as yours. Dh and I have similar battles - Ds and him play a lot of Xbox and we’re constantly all fighting to use the main tv. Personally I would just suck it up and accept you both have equal rights to the tv etc as surely he’s not doing it for hours and hours?

cruffinsmuffin · 09/08/2023 08:07

Ooo I actually think YABU slightly, I think it's a bit odd you want "light TV on in the background or nothing at all". So he couldn't watch a suspenseful thriller? Or the football? But maybe friends at low volume? I think it's a bit ott. Flashing tv (that happens in a lot of tv shows as the scenes change surely?) and clicking (which can't be louder than regular tv unless he's got a super finger) can't be that disruptive surely?

If he was playing horrendously loud Xbox on a headset shouting to his teammates I could totally understand as that's really disruptive, but you choosing to read a book infront of the tv and then wanting to control what's on the tv is a bit much imo.

cocoloco117 · 09/08/2023 08:13

KrisAkabusi · 09/08/2023 07:39

I can't see the difference between the effect of him reading the news on the TV and him just watching the TV? Flashing?

News/text based websites usually have a white background which is a lot brighter than regular tv shows. Add in moving or flashing banner ads. Then the noise of mouse/keyboard clicking which can be louder than you realise. I can see how it would be annoying/ distracting if you’re trying to read.

Toomanypots · 09/08/2023 08:15

I think the issue isn’t whether what he’s watching /doing is or isn’t annoying, It’s that it’s his home too and he should have as much say in how the tv is used.

Maybe divvy up the week, half the time you have your preference and have he has his?

Original poster

NoKnit · 09/08/2023 08:55

Thanks for the replies interesting responses.

Of course it's as much his TV as mine but what gets me more is it taking over the room. If I want to read I'd be happy go go to another room if we had one but that would either be bedroom (why should I read on my bed like a student or house share), dining room or said study. Obviously me sitting on his computer chair reading whilst he sits downstairs on the sofa surfing Internet is a bit silly.

Also I feel a living room shouldn't be a computer room.

Perhaps his Internet usage in general is just annoying me he doesn't always like watching tv that I watch never wants to play cards or a game so I feel we don't get much together time maybe that is more the issue.

OP posts:

SpacePotato · 09/08/2023 09:03

Why does he need to 'read the news' on the big tv though rather than on the laptop or his phone?

BarchesterTowels · 09/08/2023 09:06

If he doesn't already have one, he should get a cheap tablet. You can get a decent Amazon Fire for under £50 in one of their sales, and it's a much pleasanter way of reading news sites anyway.

BarchesterTowels · 09/08/2023 09:07

YANBU, I forgot to say!

lunaalice · 09/08/2023 09:10

Can you read in your bedroom?

ILoveCreamCrackersMe · 09/08/2023 09:31

This is the dictionary definition of first world problems right?

Noise cancelling headphones to get rid of the clicks? You take it turns to 'rule' the room? There's plenty orlf reasonable compromises.

I don't see how him being up in the study is a problem anyway. It's not like you'd be seeing him whilst your so deeply absorbed in a book.

What this probably boils down to is you just don't want him using the TV for browsing. Everything else is irrelevant. You'll be annoyed at whatever the compromise is unless he gives in and stops using it full stop. You're probably going to have to give some slack and live with it. Split the time and then it's fair.

Creamteasandbumblebees · 09/08/2023 11:39

Let him stay in the study, put your feet up and enjoy your book, if he wants to sulk, let him!
I prefer to read rather than watch TV but hubby and I do sit together to watch movies/series regularly. If I'm reading though he is respectful and keeps the TV fairly quiet

StopGo · 09/08/2023 11:42

If he doesn't need or use the office why not turn it to comfy reading room for you?

Original poster

NoKnit · 09/08/2023 11:54

StopGo · 09/08/2023 11:42

If he doesn't need or use the office why not turn it to comfy reading room for you?

He uses the office to work from home so not an option

OP posts:

Abracadabra12345 · 09/08/2023 13:13

This is why I'm glad we never went open plan downstairs and it's been a godsend over the years. Computer room / TV set is in front room, living room with TV is in the other.

Not that this helps OP. I do think the divvying up suggested by pp is a good one. And now there's an uncomfortable tense atmosphere because the h is sulking...

Nic218 · 09/08/2023 20:04

I do think you’re being a bit unreasonable… it’s the only tv in the house and you’re not even using it?! especially when you say there is no other comfy areas to sit.

CrapBucket · 09/08/2023 20:07

Can you rearrange the furniture so you can read without facing the TV?

Kwasi · 09/08/2023 23:47

YABU. You’re not watching/using the TV but want to have the final say in what’s on in the background while you read your book.

Go to the bedroom to read.

Deathbyfluffy · 09/08/2023 23:51

Kwasi · 09/08/2023 23:47

YABU. You’re not watching/using the TV but want to have the final say in what’s on in the background while you read your book.

Go to the bedroom to read.

This.
Getting angry about ‘clicking’ is very unreasonable! If you want absolute silence, go and sit in the study or bed.

Flip

Swipe left for the next trending thread