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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wish we were closer

7 replies

Loversonthesun · 08/08/2023 21:31

I'm an only child. DH is one of four. Although I had a happy life as an only child, I did hope to marry someone with siblings. I envisaged us all having kids at the same time so all the cousins would be close.

DH is the youngest. His siblings had children quite young so there is a 5 year age gap between DD and her closest cousin and 16 years between her and oldest cousin. Although DH gets on well with his siblings, I wouldn't say that, as a full family, we are particularly close (apart from his parents who for some childcare for us). He'll chat to his siblings on the phone but we rarely all meet up. As a consequence, our kids are not close and I feel as though I don't really have much of a relationship with his siblings.

I guess it would be different if they were my siblings. I feel I'd make more effort to see them. Is it a man thing?

This makes me feel a bit sad. It's not what I hoped for. I know that people have worse families so not sure what I want from this post to be honest.

OP posts:
TeaKitten · 08/08/2023 21:33

Guessing it wasn’t an option to have more than one child yourself? It’s good that he gets on with his siblings, and 5 years isn’t that big of a gap, you may find they become closer when DD is a teenager.

DustyLee123 · 08/08/2023 21:34

One of my kids has never met one of their cousins. They very, very rarely meet the others. Yet I grew up going on holiday with my cousins.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 08/08/2023 21:35

Are his siblings male?

Comedycook · 08/08/2023 21:37

I've noticed most families (including my own) are closer to the mother's family than the father's.

Loversonthesun · 08/08/2023 22:40

TeaKitten · 08/08/2023 21:33

Guessing it wasn’t an option to have more than one child yourself? It’s good that he gets on with his siblings, and 5 years isn’t that big of a gap, you may find they become closer when DD is a teenager.

No, medically unfortunately not.

OP posts:
Loversonthesun · 08/08/2023 22:41

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 08/08/2023 21:35

Are his siblings male?

Two brothers, one sister, but his sister is extremely scatty and would be hard pushed to organise anything.

OP posts:
Loversonthesun · 08/08/2023 22:42

Comedycook · 08/08/2023 21:37

I've noticed most families (including my own) are closer to the mother's family than the father's.

We are definitely closer to my parents than his, but no other family on my side.

That makes me sad for the mums of boys though.

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