I think I’m writing this for a massive hand hold so please bear with me.
Post separation abuse is alive and kicking in my life, it’s been horrendous.
My ex hasn’t seen our son in around 5 months due to some serious safe guarding issues regarding our now 3 year old son.
Fast forward until the last few weeks and we’ve started a slow and steady 1 hour hang outs in public places to basically grow some trust between us all.
Until yesterday.
My son and I meet my ex in a public car park for the drop, he picks my son up and says he’s taking him for 3 hours. This hasn’t been pre agreed or mentioned once, it’s always been a 1 hour visit which has always been the case the last 4/5 visits. I say no, we have plans, you can’t just decide the second you pick him up how long you’ll have him for.
He laughs and says ‘what plans do you have’ I tell him it’s none of his business. He says I’m being pathetic and that he’ll see me in 3 hours and storms off with my son.
I intercept (no touching him) and all hell breaks loose. He says I’m the most vilest, twisted, evil person he’s ever met (I recorded the whole interaction). I demand my son back, he has a tendency for flying off the handle and I’m now scared for my sons welfare, who was in his arms. He shouts fine I’ll have him for 2 hours, fine 1 hour. I say no. I can’t trust him not to loose his temper around my son and this behaviour isn’t acceptable (he’s shouting and withholding my son from me, telling me I’m being aggressive)
I could no longer grey rock and said all the home truths, he didn’t even get his son a birthday present, hasn’t seen him in five months, didn’t check on him once, hasn’t even bought him a pair of pants or socks. The massive safeguarding issue. I ended up getting away (even though him and his mum continued to harass me at my car, stopping me from putting my son in and then they followed me to my house, banged the door, shouted on my drive way, looked through my living room window, rung my phone 15 times).
But I’m just sat here, my mind swimming away thinking that I’m the issue? I wonder why if he thinks I’m so evil and disgusting, why doesn’t he mind me having our son 24/7. I’m feeling empty. He walked out on us. Cheated on me. Horrific abuse during the relationship and afterwards and yet he firmly believes I’m the issue. He said this all whilst his mother was there too (she was zero help and just exacerbated the situation). I don’t know why I’m saying this, I’m just feeling so confused.
I’ve spoken with the police and my solicitor but I’m just at a loss and feeling very alone and scared.