Positive ADHD stories

[MBailey99]

Posting here as got zero responses in behaviour/development board.

My son likely has ADHD. My dad has it, my brother has it, my uncle has it. He's only 4 and not in school yet so haven't talked to anyone there about it, but his nursery sendco has suggested it and so has his other nursery, as well as a couple of close friends. I've been doing some reading and listening to audio books about how to manage his behaviour, however a lot of what I read talks about how kids with adhd feel left behind, often do poorly in school, struggle to make friends etc.

I would really appreciate some positive stories, as my son is incredibly bright and lovely, yet I'm worried for him.

I also hate the stigma that's becoming attached to adhd and how it's now seen as 'trendy'. The panorama didn't help!

Would anyone be kind enough to share their positives?

With all due respect, you’re overthinking and undermining the condition all at once. Your son will be his own person, if he does have adhd he simply needs more support and understanding. Adhd isn’t ‘trendy’, there are so so many adults (women) who have been ignored and dismissed over years of struggling who are now being diagnosed in droves. We should be so glad it’s more recognised and ‘trendy’ - goodness knows if it wasn’t it’s your son who would spend years being labelled ‘the naughty kid’ or ‘highly capable but so lazy and away with the fairies’. Don’t undermine how much people like myself have suffered in silence and still have people dismissing our symptoms as ‘jumping on a trend’.

As for positives, it fully depends on the type of adhd he has and simply his own personality. Those with ADHD that’s more hyperactive tend to be very friendly, talkative people who brighten up all social situations. Those with inattentive type are usually very quiet and deep in thought but are very good problem solvers and have incredible imaginations. That’s just a generalisation though, good and bad comes with everything.

I don’t know if your son watches Bluey, but there’s a character called Jack who’s diagnosed with ADHD, his episode is very sweet. But Bluey herself definitely has adhd traits from what I’ve watched, she’s very very like my eldest 🤣.

You missed my point entirely. I didn't call it trendy. Quite the opposite actually.

Just to avoid any confusion for future posters. My original post didn't call adhd trendy. It referred to an annoyance around adhd being seen as trendy, with the panorama feeding into this implying that anyone can get an adhd diagnosis when it's not quite the case.

Not ADHD but my 30yrDS was diagnosed last year with Autism . It's been the making of him. He never felt comfortable in certain situations, issues with food, nothing blatantly obvious, but having the diagnosis has made him realise it's not his fault. He has also tapped into the wealth of online information and support for adults with Autism. I know it's probably not related to your story but it's a positive story regarding a diagnosis for ND. I hope you get all the support you can 😊

Thank you. My sister has high functioning autism and this is lovely to hear!

My son was diagnosed in 6th form after a life time of disorganisation, clumsiness, obsessions. Now at Cambridge. His passionate knowledge of multiple obscure topics plus ability to talk endlessly served him well

Wow, Cambridge! What a feat. You must be very proud.

My daughter was diagnosed at 12, nearly 13 after years of issues with anxiety, social issues and poor performance at school. It took reaching breaking point to be taken seriously and a diagnosis so as a starting point I would say it's a good start to get an early diagnosis.

My daughter started on the meds, which I know some people are reluctant to try, but for her it was a total game changer. She now has solid and functional friendships and has just taken her GCSEs which is expected to pass well. She also wears ear plugs to help minimise distracted and anxiety indicting background noise.

I'm not saying meds are a magic cure but I wouldn't rule them out off hand.

You also need to consider parenting style with an ADJD child. They often need help getting started and step by step instructions. Eg I can't just say to daughter "clean your room" as she will just sit there overwhelmed by the task and then I get cross nothings been done. Instead I'll bring her a bin bag and suggest she puts rubbish in there. Then when that's done bring her a basket for dirty clothes etc etc. make it small tasks and the tools to get started.

I've not got it right completely yet, I'm
Learning as I go all g, as she is too. Feel free to PM if you want to chat. It's not easy but it doesn't have to be all negative. It can be a bit of a superpower too but they just need to find a way to navigate those different skills in the world we live in.

I have ADHD and so do 2 of my children. I'm not going to lie daily life is a massive struggle. But there are positives and things I see with my children. My ADHD ones tend to be a lot more empathetic.
I also look at famous people that have it and show these people to my children as positive role models e.g Emma Watson (Hermione in Harry Potter), Louis Smith (Olympic Gymnast)

OP you are lucky it has been spotted early so you can start the NHS slog of a process to get him diagnosed (or get a private diagnosis if that's in the budget.)

My (grown) children have it and are successful wonderful productive human beings. Both of mine manage with amino acids and caffeine rather than medication (by choice and trial and error), as do I. My daughter and I have inattentive type, my son has the hyper as well.

Some things that may help: Keep him as far away from electronic stimulation as you can -- it's a constant dopamine hit and depletion and extremely addictive to the adhd brain.

Food is crucial -- good protein at every meal, (for some reason we all find eggs are superfoods for our brains), low sugar, (hopefully you're in UK where many of the detrimental numbers food additives are banned anyway?). A good magnesium supplement (magnesium malate, glycinate, or l-threonate) is helpful. So much can be accomplished with good nutrition, but it is an actual physical brain diversity, and medication at some point will likely be helpful for studies.

ADHD brains are amazing (but can be exhausting for the owner) -- gluttons for data and information and learning, enthusiastic when they latch into something, and a lot of the world's most successful and interesting people have it.

Also @Gerrataere 's excellent post had a lot of wisdom.

(Crossed out words in error)

I have quite a few close family members and friends with diagnosed ADHD and some with very obvious traits/very likely undiagnosed ADHD. Those who are more successful in life (jobs, relationships, mental health) are those with good diets and healthier lifestyles generally -regular exercise, good sleep habits etc. they also seem to have strategies to cope with the areas they struggle with -writing lists and using organisational hacks for example.
All are very lovely, sociable people and all are very different and unique. I'm sure your son is too. Good luck, he'll be ok with you in his corner!

My son was diagnosed last year after a disastrous year 7. He's now home educated and back off medication as he didn't like how it made him feel. He is managing much better now with home education and with attending martial arts three days a week.

Your son is only four. Maybe he does have adhd, maybe he doesn't. Wait and see and just support him however he needs, just like you would any other child.

My son has Adhd. He went to a selective gramnar school and now after finishing art uni, and winning a regional design competition, works as a Graphic Designer in an agency in London. He chosen his degree and got the job he was dreaming about as his profession is very competitive.
He is very creative and a subject cakked art taught at school was tough for him.
He is also very talented musically and has a Diploma in Musical Theatre but decuded against career in Musical Theatre.
Go with your sons talent, offer him a lot of opporunities to try new things ( the rule for my kids was to do an activity for a term).
My son is the loveliest and most sensitive young man and I couldn't be prouder of him. I was helping him discussibg and thinking through his options and choices but ultimately it was always his decision where he was going to end up.