Friends new partner

[Champgal]

My good friend recently had a bad breakup with a guy she had been with for years and thought was her life partner. Since the breakup she has started a relationship with a guy we all know and it feels weird. He’s a nice enough guy, but it feels weird that she has jumped ship so fast and they live together now since being together for two months. I’m happy my friend is happy and is not wallowing in her breakup but I feel like it’s too fast (it’s been 6 months since the break up and she’s been with this guy 3 months). My biggest problem is that she wants us to all hang out with him like we did her old partner and he’s just got no conversation. He turns every topic into a bad joke and doesn’t seem to have anything to say other then silly answers. Maybe it’s his way of dealing with feeling awkward but I just hate hanging out with him. I feel like my friend might find this cute now but it will ware thin. I was with them last night and asked him if he had any travel plans. ‘Yes I plan to travel to my bed tonight.’ It’s all just very awkward any maybe I am just grieving her breakup too as her ex was truly a fascinating person who had lots of interesting things to say and this guy is just so meh. I’m not the only one who feels it too. I can’t approach my friend and say we are worried can I?

If he is predictable, tidy and kind to her, that could be intoxicating now, and enough to keep her happy for ever.

What are you worried about? Entertaining her friends shouldn’t be high on her list of what she wants from a man. It didn’t work out for her with the man who was to your taste.

It’s more the fact that we used to do lots of double dates and hang out heaps with her and her old partner, and she wants to do the same with the new one but my partner is also really not keen to hang out with him in a small group as it’s just so hard trying to pull any sort of conversation, which is so opposite from her.

Is he nervous perhaps? Cracking stupid jokes is a thing people do when they are feeling a bit anxious and self conscious. He probably feels weird stepping into the position her ex was in a very short time ago with this group. Maybe give it a bit more time and see how he behaves then? Invite more people so he's less conspicuous / less of a focus and you may be able to get away with not talking to him as much ?

I hope so. Ever since knowing this guy he has had an awkward dad joke approach to communicating but I figured that’s just surface level. It’s just a shame that even having hung out multiple times now it’s not improving.

He sounds nervous so I'd cut him some slack.

It sounds as though she's gone for convenience. Why did she and the other guys split up? Do you still have anything to do with him?

He had a job away fishing on boats for long periods of time and he wanted to work his way up the ranks but it meant taking more trips and it got to the point where they were seeing each other for a couple of weeks every few months and he fell out of love with the distance. He has been away on the boats for a while but I still consider him a friend and he still has tickets to join me and my partner for a rally next year.