Nervous about going on my own

[Pipiscoming2023]

Fully expect to be told IABU here and to ‘woman up’ but I’m going to a new hobby class this evening. I’ve never done this particular hobby before and I don’t know anyone there. I do have quite bad social anxiety and I can’t stop thinking that I’m going to make a complete fool out of myself.

How do you have the confidence to just do these kinds of things? Or does everyone feel a bit anxious when going somewhere new/meeting new people for the first time?

Tips on how not to freak out also welcome.

Hi OP!
I think it’s totally normal to be a bit anxious the first time you try something new.
Just remember everyone was the new guy at one point.
Ive found most people love having someone new around because they can pass on their expertise/help etc.
Just focus on how great you’ll feel after knowing you went and (hopefully) really enjoyed it!!

It's so much easier if you already know someone but once you've gone you will feel so happy and proud of yourself. Or as a worst case you will have done it and not enjoy it.

Just get it done! Be strong.

It helps me to pin down exactly what I'm worrying about. So, are you worried about being the centre of attention because you're new? Or being ignored? Or not knowing how to do the hobby? Or where to park or where the toilets are?
Once you've properly identified the source of the nerves, then decide how you'll cope if the worst happens. So, everyone ignores you? Not great, but you concentrate on the group leader and the activity. If its excruciating you can always leave etc.

I think it's totally normal to feel like that OP. I moved to a new city, knew no-one. So I had to majorly push myself out of my comfort zone and go along to things on my own that I would never in a million years have done in my home city (salsa classes, hiking group, running group, dinners and cinema trips with random people through Meetup etc). I very much went with the 'feel the fear and do it anyway approach'. The dancing/running groups were the most nerve wracking for me as I am the world's least coordinated person! I was very nervous but I thought if it was completely terrible it's only a couple of hours out of my whole entire life and I never have to see these people again 😂. In reality it usually went much better than I could have hoped, and I was rarely the only new person. I am still a terrible dancer though.

Good luck and have fun! I recently went to an 8-week dance class on my own and I was so nervous. I have never danced before, have no rhythm and am totally uncoordinated. I also find it quite hard to just strike up natural conversation with complete strangers, so I'm never that new person who has made a new BFF by the end of the first session!
I basically just forced myself to go. I decided that it was just 1 hour of my life and if it went horribly I'd never have to go again. And what was the worst that could happen in that hour anyway, they were surely all just other people who wanted to have a hobby. It turned out fine, I finished the course, had a laugh, realised I wasn't absolutely terrible at dancing. Didn't make any lasting friends as such, but people there were friendly and no one was excluding or anything like that.

My tips would be to arrive early so you're not stressing about being late, not knowing where to go etc. Smile and say hi to anyone already there, or just whoever you are next to if there are a lot of people. It's fine to say it's your first class - you might find it's their first class too. At the end, you can thank the teacher and if you've enjoyed the class and want to go back you can tell people you look forward to seeing them next week :) Enjoy your evening OP!

Thank you for all of your advice everyone.

I told myself if I hated it then I’d never go back and it wasn’t a huge loss like many of you said to do. Turned out to be such a lovely evening and I was buzzing for hours afterwards. I booked the next 4 weeks in advance when I got home and I’m really excited about going again.

Thank you again, you all stopped me talking myself out of it like I normally would!

That's a really lovely update 😀

yay so glad you enjoyed! I'm exactly the same, get so nervous before doing new things alone but as others have said it's nearly always worth it!

What a lovely update! I'm so glad you enjoyed yourself.

I get incredibly nervous about things like that too, and for me I've found that telling myself 'If you hate it, you don't have to go back, and if you embarrass yourself, you will never have to see any of those people again' often helps. I've actually started to push myself a bit more recently.

That's wonderful OP, you should be proud of yourself 😊

Oh that's fantastic! Well done