Blended family holiday and sickness

[Thefullblend]

I have two DCs and my partner has two. We don’t all live together yet but will be soon. For background, he is a sole parent and I co-parent with my ex.

For the first time we decided to holiday as a 6 this summer. (Yorkshire holiday cottage) DP went yesterday with his DCs and we’re joining them later today when mine get back from their Dad’s.

Sadly, one of DP’s kids has developed a sickness bug overnight. AIBU to want to hold off going for now so that we don’t all catch it or is that unsupportive of me not to still go and help DP with his kids? Or unfair on my kids to miss out on even more of the holiday? It’s early and I can’t think straight!

I guess it depends on how much you want to avoid illness. Obviously going will put you at risk of catching it, but If you want to avoid that risk you’ll have to delay arriving for a few days at least I would have though, so may miss most of your holiday.

Personally I’d probably still go (provided we had no very young or vulnerable children) but try to isolate from the sick person in the cottage. I guess if you were not a blended family that’s what you’d do?

I would not willingly go to a place where I knew there was someone in the throes of a sick bug. Different if you’re already there but as you’re not, I’d wait til it has gone over.

I'd wait until the dc was over it. I wouldn't worry about him handling things though

I think I would go because you've paid. I would just be really cautious with hand washing and so on.

I'd probably give it a day to let the poorly one get over the worst of it & past the infectious stage. Easier & more pleasant for everyone & needn't be a big deal.

or is that unsupportive of me not to still go and help DP with his kids?

He’s their sole parent; I’m sure he can cope with them!

I’d see how today goes and maybe travel up later or tomorrow.

No way would I be going if there’s a sick bug in the house. 6 people being ill in an unfamiliar environment sounds horrific, especially if you’re having to do washing and worried about losing your holiday deposit. Give it 24 hours and reassess. Plenty more time for holidays in the future.

I'd hold off a day I think. Not the school's 48 hours from last time rule, but wait a day and see how things go.

I’d give it a day too. See how the poorly one is getting on and reduce the chance of it spreading. He has them all the time, he’ll be fine?

Lots of questions
Does the cottage have enough toilets to allow the sick child to use a different toilet to the rest of the family?
Is anyone else due to sleep in the same room as the sick child?
Will you have separate transport?
Personally I wouldn't miss the holiday if you can put preventative measures in place. I would however to be out and about leaving sick child back at the cottage for at least the first few days and take lots of disinfectant with me!

If he goes at least half of you will get it (voice of bitter experience nephew passed his not mentioned to anyone bug on to me Dh and dd2 when we shared a holiday cottage a few years ago)

Hold off for a day - probably easier for him to deal with it with more space and fewer people around. Ask what you can bring down to help, though - suggest spare bedding, stuff from the pharmacy, more food? Be supportive but don’t put your own kids in the firing line of catching it.

I would wait till the poorly child is better. We had similar with my sister partners child. She was in the throes of gastroenteritis ( she was suffering from food poisoning) and her mum was insistent on us still taking her on a caravan holiday ( 8 of us in a 3 bed caravan). She came later.

My youngest caught a stomach bug and the eldest didn't start with it til 5 days later, then I caught it 6 days later. I wouldn't even risk it. Stomach bugs hang around for weeks in your system and can live on surfaces for 2 weeks too.

Look at it this way, if u were there yesterday you'd all have been exposed. Or if you lived together it would be the same. Kids get sick. Sometimes they pass it on, sometimes they don't. I'd probably go.

Would you really consider making a child travel with a sickness bug? Wait until they are better.
What kind of father can't manage to look after his own children for a couple of days?

What has your DP said? They might be perfectly happy for you to go once its gone. The child might not want to hear other people off having fun while they're stuck home anyway. I date say they would rather the one got over what is hopefully a 24hour bug, than for a different person to start getting sick every few hours and the whole holiday involving someone being sick, if that makes sense.

"Would you really consider making a child travel with a sickness bug? Wait until they are better.
What kind of father can't manage to look after his own children for a couple of days?"

Someone can't read 🤣🙄

OP - why are you assuming he needs help? Hasn't he managed fine before as their sole parent? Just wait til the child (who is already there, no travel required) feels better

I feel for you, this is a horrible dilemma. I would probably wait 48 hours from when the child got ill to see if your DP and the other child catch it, then you'll know whether it's an infectious bug or the child just ate something that disagreed with them. 6 of you all vomiting in a holiday home sounds a nightmare so I'd want to try and avoid that scenario