Was this rude?

[RiverWye]

Recently moved and a friend asked to come over for coffee to catch up & see the new house.

We're not very close, met at a running club two years ago and meet occasionally for coffee.

Anyway, she came over and it felt like she criticised the hell out of the house!

That I needed to change the windows, the living room was an awkward shape, she'd never buy a house like this etc.

I felt very offended and I'm pretty easy going usually, but AIBU? Is it acceptable to offer your unsolicited opinions on improvements when you see a friend's house??

Admittedly the house needs a lot of cosmetic work as it's a project - but I found it really annoying for example when she pointed to the hallway carpet and said "you need to replace that, it's awful"

It's obviously gopping, did she think I was going to do the house up but leave the stained, worn brown carpet?!

Sounds pretty tactless - I mean if it’s an obvious project you say something like “I can really see the potential” or maybe “This would look great if you……”. She has no imagination and would obviously just buy a “cookie cutter” home.

I had a friend do similar when we moved over 20 years ago. She didn't like this and that and would take this wall down and put a window in here, etc. I am generally easy going like you OP, but I was livid. I shut her down and she back-tracked but wish I had said more. She and her partner recently had a house built and it's "different" and very much her style and I find it gopping but would never tell her that - it's rude.

It's your home and, if you bought it, you will have invested a sh*t load of money in it. Best for friends to go around and find something positive to say rather than stepping on toes.

'Now isn't a good time' is a good answer - if you keep giving that answer she'll soon realise now is actually never a good time. You don't have to invite people into your house any time they ask, especially if you are not that close to them.

Exactly that! She said I should remove an en suite, put in patio doors here, take out patio doors there, and that my plan to extend the kitchen was 'wrong' and I should move it to the other side - I was fuming inside and I did say 'I didn't realise you were designing my house' but she laughed it off and carried on.

Everyone has different tastes and I'd never give any negative point to a friend, I would only point out positives.

She won't be invited back!!

YADNBU X

Lacking in social skills but I'd not be upset personally as clearly it's the other person's issue.

I'd be unlikely to invite them back.

Incredibly rude. One of my so called close friends picked apart my £30k wedding, needless to say I’m not friends with her anymore.

That's awful!!

No - rude. “It’ll be lovely when you’ve done the kitchen”? Fine. “Ooh - you could put some patio doors there and have a lovely view of the garden”. Also fine. But anything directly critical? Not fine at all. She was rude.

I expect she was making conversation, taking your lead and you've just moved in and you're making plans to renovate. It would've been rude in other contexts like if you had lived there for years! But I think it was just a poor attempt at shared conversation - you already said you don't know each other that well.

Yes