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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My 8 year old knows swear words

21 replies

porcelaincider · 06/08/2023 00:11

We don't swear, the very most hes heard from us might be bloody or crap but recently my son is becoming interested in swear words. I think he has heard them at school/from peers. Tonight we've had friends over (they have similar age children and were upstairs playin)
my 6 year old dd has learnt about the F word ' I've learnt a new word tonight mummy - fuck!' Omg I feel gutted. How should I deal with this

YABU - don't make a big thing of it they are just words

YANBU - I would be unhappy about this , talk to your son & explain why this is inappropriate

OP posts:
CopperSeahorses · 06/08/2023 00:14

Don't make a big thing about just explain why some words are inappropriate.

TooOldToBeSoYoung · 06/08/2023 00:16

I wouldn't make a big deal out of it. I mean don't tell him off. I would explain though that it's a rude word to use and lots of people would be offended to hear it so he shouldn't use it. A

RicherThanYews · 06/08/2023 00:17

You're both YABU and YANBU as they are just words but you can also explain why they're inappropriate. For what it's worth my 10 year old went through a phase of being interested in swear words when his wee pals came out with some colourful language but he moved on when the shock/novelty wore thin. Just continue to use non-sweary language around him.

NoChanceYouMetalBastard · 06/08/2023 00:19

Don't make a big deal out of it. They're just words and if you start the whole "OH MY GOD THAT'S SUCH A BAD WORD" thing, then you'll make the fucks and the cunts more interesting 😁

NoChanceYouMetalBastard · 06/08/2023 00:20

Oh and of course all the above about we don't say these words in front of grandma/the pope, etc.

GrandTheftWalrus · 06/08/2023 00:20

My 6yo knows them but knows not to say them. She'll tell me that someone said a bad word etc. She's heard them out in the street from other kids etc.

KateJohns · 06/08/2023 00:22

Don't make a big deal of it, they are just words at the end of the day, no one's been murdered or a got a broken ankle etc.

Just explain that those words could upset other people if they heard them and that they shouldn't use them because they would want to upset someone.

Original poster
porcelaincider · 06/08/2023 00:33

Thanks, really appreciate your replies. Why do children have to grow up so quick? 🥺

OP posts:
Merryoldgoat · 06/08/2023 00:35

I taught my son about swearing in appropriate situations.

Not outside of the house
Not when we have visitors
Not AT anyone

He’s 10 so a bit older but he understands and we have no issues.

Hellocatshome · 06/08/2023 00:37

Its just language. Some language is only acceptable in certain situations and is unacceptable in others. Teach them that and then let it go.

KateJohns · 06/08/2023 00:38

porcelaincider · 06/08/2023 00:33

Thanks, really appreciate your replies. Why do children have to grow up so quick? 🥺

It's natural.
My kid is 10 and she knows the swears, has done for years.
It's great to see her growing I to a young woman, but I'm sad that my little girl is disappearing before my eyes.

GrandTheftWalrus · 06/08/2023 00:39

Sometimes the conversation with dd goes like this...

DD: They said a bad word.
ME: uh huh
DD: They said the F word.
ME: I know.
DD: Mummy they said fuck!
ME: .....

toottootpipip · 06/08/2023 00:40

My ds started attending premier league football matches with me when he was 6 and hear all sorts. We told him what he heard there was not to be repeated at home, school or anywhere else. We don't swear at home so don't expect it of him and siblings either. He heard stuff in the playground which isn't as bad as at football. He's now 12 and I've never heard him swear in my life.

NoChanceYouMetalBastard · 06/08/2023 00:41

porcelaincider · 06/08/2023 00:33

Thanks, really appreciate your replies. Why do children have to grow up so quick? 🥺

It's just stuff they hear at school. If you don't make it a big deal, then it isn't!

NoChanceYouMetalBastard · 06/08/2023 00:42

I had never ever ONCE heard my Dad swear. In the last years of his life he volunteered driving at a special ed school. The first time "fuck" slipped out in front of my Mum and me Grin He was about 72 at the time. People (of all ages) just absorb what they hear. It doesn't mean anything x

GADDay · 06/08/2023 00:46

As long as is wasn't this bad https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZSLCATv1U/

You should be OK.

Thatboymum · 06/08/2023 00:48

My 5yo has adhd and struggles also with his speech he can’t pick up “normal” words well but when he goes to his dads rest assured he can pick up all the bad words under the sun and clearly repeat them I have been advised by camhs just to totally blank and be non reactive and I have to say when I do that he does stop where as when I got upset and told him off he done it more and laughed

CheerfulYank · 06/08/2023 00:52

I have three (16, 10, and 8) and when my oldest was little I was soooo concerned about him heading “bad words”. He was just really sheltered in general, I think.

My youngest now thinks bad words are hilarious. He doesn’t say them but he will allude to them. I would have been appalled if I’d heard a child do that when my oldest was little! (I’m a bit embarrassed at how tightly wound I was, looking back 🤣) The difference of course is, my 8 year old has a teenage brother!

I think when it’s your oldest, everything is the first time you’ve been through something as a parent and it seems more extreme. I’d just do the “we don’t say that” casually and leave it alone.

CheerfulYank · 06/08/2023 00:53

hearing 🙄

Indigotree · 06/08/2023 01:02

I explained that it's ok to use swear words as exclamations, but never ok to use them at someone or to call someone names. I also explained that a lot are sexist and why this is wrong. Also of course that some people don't like them and that they would be in trouble at school if they used them!

GrandTheftWalrus · 06/08/2023 01:03

NoChanceYouMetalBastard · 06/08/2023 00:42

I had never ever ONCE heard my Dad swear. In the last years of his life he volunteered driving at a special ed school. The first time "fuck" slipped out in front of my Mum and me Grin He was about 72 at the time. People (of all ages) just absorb what they hear. It doesn't mean anything x

My mum would swear like a sailor infront of me but wouldn't swear infront of my gran. And I'm the same. Swear like a trooper but not infront of my mum or my dd.

My ex-friend however used to swear infront of her mum and actually called her a cunt one day for not giving her vodka.

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