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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

New BF going to party

51 replies

Meow97 · 05/08/2023 18:14

My BF is going to a party tonight. I haven’t been with him very long but for some reason I’m worried about what might happen. Aibu)

OP posts:
SadieOlsen · 05/08/2023 18:57

You don't trust him. He is messaging other women. He isn't really your boyfriend is he - it's just some temporary thing.

Original poster
Meow97 · 05/08/2023 18:58

@grunttheterrible its not me going it is him, I found out he was messaging other girls. We have been together 3 months and other girlfriends are going but he didn’t ask me along

OP posts:
AnneLovesGilbert · 05/08/2023 18:59

Billions of other men out there. Literally billions. Don’t hang around with a sleazy loser. It’s like a form of self harm. Desist.

Original poster
Meow97 · 05/08/2023 18:59

Thanks everyone

OP posts:
Lavender14 · 05/08/2023 19:01

If he's been messaging other girls while you're in an exclusive relationship then you dump him and find a guy who doesn't message other girls.

Yarnorama · 05/08/2023 19:01

Eh? How many girlfriends does he have?

hotchocandtwosmokybacon · 05/08/2023 19:03

Have you spoken to him about the messaging? Are you exclusive with him? In any case, if you can't trust him, it's still early so don't invest further and end it!

Mellowautumnmists · 05/08/2023 19:13

We have been together 3 months and other girlfriends are going but he didn’t ask me along

Blimey! Sounds like a fun party. Is his surname Epstein?

Marwoodsbigbreak · 05/08/2023 19:13

Other girlfriends?

So you’re not in an exclusive relationship? In which case there’s not much you can do really?

Itsnotrightbutitsok · 05/08/2023 19:19

If you’re worried about him going to a party, then he’s not the one and you need to end the relationship as it obviously won’t work.

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 05/08/2023 19:19

Did you ask him if you're invited / why he didn't ask you?
If other guys are bringing their gf along then yes I would be concerned. The messaging other girls thing - if flirty or not just friends , then I would just get rid of him leopards don't change their spots and this life of stress whenever you're not with him isn't worth it

drpet49 · 05/08/2023 19:20

pictoosh · 05/08/2023 18:25

Yabu. Is he to never venture anywhere alone now that he is with you? You can't get like this every time he goes somewhere.

This. I suggest your sort out your insecure issues before dating again.

tictactoe1234 · 05/08/2023 19:20

No trust = it's over

Augustusgloooop · 05/08/2023 19:21

This sounds like a terrible start to a ‘relationship’. You need to up your standards OP. Being worried about your boyfriend going to a party is not normal and it’s no way to live life! Find someone who doesn’t give you reasons not to trust him, and work on your self esteem.

YukoandHiro · 05/08/2023 19:21

He's not making you happy if you're thinking like this. Move on.

Stillcantbebothered · 05/08/2023 19:26

lunar1 · 05/08/2023 18:20

Does he normally have a carer or support worker with him?

Hahaha I burst out laughing at this 😂

AmazingSnakeHead · 05/08/2023 19:30

After only 3 months this is way too much effort, I'd move on.

NotAMug · 05/08/2023 19:37

In less than 3 months together he has been messaging other girls. Seriously have some respect for yourself.

Pipsquiggle · 05/08/2023 19:44

Doesn't sound great TBH.

Other GFs are going so why not you?
He's texting other girls, could be innocent but I doubt it.

When you first start going out it should be fun and going to parties together.

Hibiscrubbed · 05/08/2023 19:55

Based on his behaviour, he’s a dick who will probably cheat. Raise your bar. Bin him off.

Thoughtful2355 · 05/08/2023 19:56

Why you staying with someone like that after only 3 months though? Like now's the easiest time to dump them not in 2 years time when you've wasted all that time and then he cheats..

matchamate · 05/08/2023 19:57

So he was messaging other girls in a flirty way while you were with him and you've only been seeing each other 3 months?

If that is right then THANK YOU NEXT!

Russooooo · 05/08/2023 20:01

It’s not going to get any better.

If you don’t trust him not to cheat when you’re three months in and presumably still in the infatuation stage, you’re definitely not going to trust him when anything gets more complicated later on.

Bin him. Up your standards.

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 05/08/2023 20:01

He's either not serious about your relationship and doesn't see it as a monogamous one and he doesn't want you there .

Or he plans to cosy up with A.N.Other girlfriend and he doesn't want you there .

Either way , he doesn't want you there .
You are not joined at the hip . Cut your losses , raise your bar and get a backbone .

Then block him.

Whattodo112222 · 05/08/2023 20:12

Are you 12? This is so immature.