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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

6yo sleeping on the floor

27 replies

Parentxyz · 05/08/2023 14:47

I've been sleeping on top of a duvet on the carpet for 6 weeks as per my chiropractor and most of Asia/Africa to help back pain (it works!). My 6yo wanted to copy me and he preferred it to his mattress. But now my ex won't let me see him unless I stop him. I say I will aways give him the choice. I'm taking my ex to the family judge...

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Dreambe · 05/08/2023 15:01

My DM slept on the floor for a long time with sciatica which helped, but as for your DC copying you I’d encourage him to sleep in his bed, settle him in it at bedtime with a story, and explain that you are only on the floor because of pain.

As we don’t know if you have a lengthy court battle ahead, encourage him to sleep in his bed or you risk losing seeing your DC until the court decides. I know it sounds shit but don’t make this a hill to die on.

DappledThings · 05/08/2023 15:15

7 year old went through a phase of this recently. We just picked him up when we came up and popped him in bed. So he got to go to sleep how he wanted but still ended up most of the night in his proper bed.

Could that work? Or does your back pain preclude that? Don't want to make assumptions about it.

Original poster
Parentxyz · 05/08/2023 15:38

I like sleeping on the floor.

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iamenougheveryday · 05/08/2023 15:43

My DS2 slept on the floor until he was 9yo. If he is happy, nothing wrong with it.

greenspaces4peace · 05/08/2023 15:46

If your home is suitably warm and dry sleeping on the floor (on a mat of some fashion) is fine.
We have a Japanese grass mat, and cover for the grandkids.

FatAgainItsLettuceTime · 05/08/2023 15:50

DD built a complicated den structure in her room about 2 and a half weeks ago and has slept on the floor in it ever since. She's 9, she's sleeping all night, she's not in pain or stiff during the day, so I see no reason to stop her.

I really don't think the family court judge would care about this, your DS has a bed and clean bedding, he's just choosing to sleep somewhere else,

GoingToBeLessRubbishAtLife · 05/08/2023 16:03

We’ve all spent various times sleeping on the floor (or more accurately, sleeping on a duvet with another duvet on top) for health reasons, or travelling, or no money, or no desire to buy furniture in a temporary home - loads of reasons. If you can show the judge that he does have a bed and clean bedding then that’s fine.

However……….how vindictive is your ex? What is the genuine possibility of not seeing your son? That should come first so I’d do whatever ensures the continued visits from your son.

Peony654 · 05/08/2023 16:14

If he has a bed but chooses the floor, you can’t stop that! I would tell him you are doing it because your back hurts and presumably temporary

Ladyoftheknight · 05/08/2023 16:20

You haven't done anything wrong, I would say I don't know how safe it is for young children's development to sleep on the floor- but that's another topic.

If your child has a bed provided and they choose to sleep on the floor, you won't be in trouble.

nokidshere · 05/08/2023 16:21

My two regularly slept on the floor when they were younger, they liked it for some peculiar reason. If they weren't comfortable they would wake up and get into bed. As long as he has his own bed to go to it doesn't matter where he sleeps

wouldthatbeworse · 05/08/2023 16:55

My DD (age 7 has phases of choosing to sleep on the floor. We just put a duvet on her and let her crack on. She seems fine. To be honest i’m jealous of her ability to fall asleep not in a bed.

OsirisservesAnubis · 05/08/2023 17:27

How do you sleep on the floor? On your back? I'm a side sleeper and can't imagine it.

As long as DC has a bed, is encouraged to use it and it remains available to him, I can't see an issue.

Original poster
Parentxyz · 05/08/2023 18:44

My ex is blocking contact. She argues good coparenting means I should do what she says.

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Original poster
Parentxyz · 05/08/2023 18:47

I sleep on the side :-)

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GoingToBeLessRubbishAtLife · 05/08/2023 18:50

Parentxyz · 05/08/2023 18:44

My ex is blocking contact. She argues good coparenting means I should do what she says.

So sleep in a bed when he is with you to encourage him. You can sleep on the floor when he’s not with you. You absolutely have the right to bring him up your way when he’s with you, but it’s more important that he is able to visit you and to have a relationship with you, your desire to sleep on the floor and battle with your ex should come way down the level of importance here.

Original poster
Parentxyz · 05/08/2023 18:59

I'm asking the judge for school pick ups.

The bed/floor thing is a question of principle. I want him and I to live life free of her diktats.

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NeverDropYourMooncup · 05/08/2023 19:33

Parentxyz · 05/08/2023 18:59

I'm asking the judge for school pick ups.

The bed/floor thing is a question of principle. I want him and I to live life free of her diktats.

Don't be a knob.

As it's hardly the end of the world, tell her 'yes, you're right, I'll tell him to sleep in his bed'. He'll still sleep on the floor.

That is assuming that he does actually have a bed and not a scraggy mattress, though.

Comedycook · 05/08/2023 19:37

You said your ds prefers the floor to his mattress. Does he have a proper bed or just a mattress?

Original poster
Parentxyz · 05/08/2023 19:53

He has a new bed and new mattress. Actually a choice of 3 mattresses!

But I can't bring myself to forbid him to sleep on the floor if he wants to.

It'd normally be easy to lie to his mother but I'm neurodivergent.

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HeddaGarbled · 05/08/2023 20:24

The problem is that he might get into the habit of always sleeping on the floor and find that habit difficult to break.

While I completely get what you’re saying about Africa & Asia, it’s not the norm in the U.K. You could r setting him up for struggling to sleep at his mum’s, at other relatives’ homes, at his friends’ homes etc.

Whilst it may not be physically bad for him to sleep on the floor, he doesn’t need to for medical reasons, like you do. So it isn’t bad for him to sleep in a bed, and the kindest thing you can do for him is ensure he can sleep comfortably wherever he goes.

You’re being stubborn because you see this as a matter of principal. But that’s just selfish. Put your son’s happiness and a smooth relationship with his mother above this petty battle.

Idtotallybangdreamoftheendlessnotgonnalie · 05/08/2023 20:57

My 6 year old is currently sleeping on the floor. Life is too short to argue with a kid about things like that.

I'd say to the mother that the kid has a lovely bed which they are free to use as they choose.

GoingToBeLessRubbishAtLife · 06/08/2023 07:41

Parentxyz · 05/08/2023 18:59

I'm asking the judge for school pick ups.

The bed/floor thing is a question of principle. I want him and I to live life free of her diktats.

Is it worth the risk of not seeing him?

If I was the non resident parent and my ex said she was withholding access until I promised to <insert random thing that isn’t harmful> then I’d do it.

Original poster
Parentxyz · 06/08/2023 09:02

My ex is already not letting me see him because of this random harmless thing. She didn't give me the chance to think about it and to discuss it with him, before she started holding him.

Bearing in mind I give him the choice how he sleeps; she wants me to forbid him a way of sleeping when he's at my place.

He's 6 so we have years of coparenting ahead. I don't think giving in to her demands now sets out a good future for anyone.

I'm willing to compromise on things but I cannot do that under duress.

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