To confide in my wider family?

[hopelessmum1]

I was advised by a counsellor a few years ago to open up to my wider family about violence towards me by my late father, as my immediate family didn't believe me. This seemed like such a good, hopeful idea, as I believed they would be sympathetic.

The reality though has been just a-w-f-u-l, partly because I didn't realise that they don't all get on with each other, so treating them as a 'family group' seems to be a minefield

They also just don't know what to say to me. There has just been a long embarrassed silence and no response to my attempts to build relationships with them. Was I wrong, was my counsellor wrong or are my family just unkind?

The advice has exposed the horrible lack of closeness within the family, and left me feeling very exposed and stupid. Was I being unreasonable to expect this strategy to work?

It depends on what your goals were as to whether it's worked. It's worked but not in the way you thought it would, as you've said it's exposed who your family really are and maybe for your own well being you should think about stepping back from them and developing relationships with others outside the family, build a better network 💐 I've been NC with certain family members for years and it's really helped my mental health and the distance has helped me see how unhealthy the dynamic was x

I’ve had a similar response in similar circumstances.
Ive come to the conclusion that the saying ‘be careful who you tell your problems to because most don’t care and the rest just want something to gossip about’ is sadly true.
At least you know they know. It’s no consolation when you get this sort of response from them though. I think when there is an abusive member of the family the dysfunction runs much deeper in the family than you realise.

Thank you for replying. I know how painful these dynamics are for survivors