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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Can’t be arsed to hang out with DH’s unemployed messy friend

1 reply

moaningmyrtle4 · 04/08/2023 21:55

I don’t want to sound like a terrible person. But as the title says. I CBA to hang out with DH’s unemployed friend.

to set the scene. My DH has a very close friend from school who throughout our 20s I was happy to hang out with. He’s a bit awkward but very nice. But has messed around claiming he can’t find something he likes or a job that hasn’t got tasks he doesn’t like (basically trying to find a job that doesn’t exist!!) his parents paid for him to do a masters in his mid 30s. One year after graduating. Still unemployed.

It drives me nuts whenever we see him he just moans. His gf recently dumped him as she had enough (don’t know how she stuck for so long) and so he’s even worse now.

I just feel he has no respect for our stuff. He leaves a mess. Toilet seat up. Cigarette butts in our actual cups we use to drink. He lived in a friends flat for a bit and left it a dirty tip. Stayed with us one night knocked books all over the floor.

me and my DH have tried to help him with work and he’s self sabotaged applications and basically ruined his chances and made us look like idiots for referring him.

me and dh have worked hard and have done well and I feel I’ve lost patience for people who muck around, live off parents and just feel entitled and like everything is unfair.

I feel bad he may be depressed. But I work hard. I want one evening to relax (Saturday evening) without having him over to make a mess and make us depressed

AIBU - should have more sympathy
AINBU - he needs to grow up and sort his life out

OP posts:
ChekhovsMum · 04/08/2023 22:02

YANBU. And he’s not even your friend. People like this wind me up too OP. Like you, I tolerated them in my 20s because people change, but these days I tend to give them a wide berth. Could you tell DH he’s welcome to hang out with this person somewhere else, but you’ve had enough of entertaining him at yours?

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