Help please oligohydramnios

[scaredbaby2]

At 20+2 weeks pregnant I was told I have oligohydramnios (only 20+6 now). Doctor has said there is nothing they can do and won't know if baby will survive until born as lungs may or may not develop. They do not want to monitor and I'm told no tests to at least get an idea if lungs are developing so I can prepare. Offered no emotional support either.

Has anyone got any experience with this? Should they monitor? Are there any tests?

Basically been told my baby will likely die when born. Am I just supposed to go through the rest of my pregnancy with no answers or support? What do I tell my two existing young children if I come home from hospital with no baby in a few months time?

Congratulations! I was around that weight as premature and they were muttering about me probably being short as an adult
I am 5ft 10

I'm so sorry that you are going through this x

Are either of you 2 children under school age the reason I ask is whilst the health visiting service would not be involved in your care re: pregnancy until after 28 weeks any under school age children you have still are and you may find support there

I'd also enquire what caseload you are on for midwifery e.g. in our area you are either deemed universal or have a Maternity support form. I assume there are different levels of support relating to these caseload

Whilst for medical reasons they're may be no need to have regular scan updates it feels awful that you have not even been signposted to support groups.

Can you email into your central midwifery hub and request to know what support is in place from them as a team during the rest of your pregnancy and afterwards and what support groups can they direct you to reach out for support. Are there any referrals they can make. When/who will advise you on practical matters such as discussing loss with older children, dealing with employment etc

Take care of each other x

Are you on the right thread?

I think the PP hasn't realised that the baby has been born.

Ah ok, that makes sense.

A bit off not reading the OPs posts at the very least with such a sensitive subject.

Congratulations. Hope it continues well 🍓(can't find a bunch of flowered emoji, so have a strawberry)

Yes indeed.

How's your baby, OP?

She's doing great so far, thank you. They never really have any updates, as she remains stable and continues to breath for herself. She's doing so well but I have no idea how I'm going to do all of this

Don't worry - she won't be discharged for some weeks yet. It's wonderful that she's doing so well - especially considering the bad news about the oligohydramnios you got much earlier in the pregnancy - and the way the fetal medicine unit just dismissed you and your baby out of hand.

I hope you're getting as much sleep as possible - it's really important.

You’re doing amazingly too @scaredbaby2 - you’re being amazingly brave. Congratulations on the birth of your little girl. She’s in the best hands and I’m sure will do well now.

I just don't feel like I have time to be there for her or my kids at home

I understand that feeling. I had to stay in with a baby in SCBU and I had three older children at home.

It's very hard. Are you breastfeeding her? Could you go home with a breast pump, even for a few hours?

@TheShellBeach

I am at home already as I didn't want to leave my other two as they are 3 and 5. I'm pumping at home and when I go to the hospital. When I'm at home I'm pumping or trying to keep on top of the house, I go to the hospital when the kids are at nursery and school. I feel like I spend no where enough time in hospital with baby and when I'm at home with my other children I'm not spending enough time with them either, because I need to pump or do the washing, dinner, clean up. I also only moved into this house in July. The landlord is awful. The house was/is a state. So I'm trying to sort it out but he is also now selling the house and my tenancy ends in January. I'm trying to move out before then because I don't want to bring my baby here, as I don't have time to sort it before she comes out of the hospital. I'm not sure how I'm even going to get a new house. This one is private rented and I only got accepted easily as it turns out the landlord is useless. I'm hoping for council but I doubt I'll get that in time for baby coming home.

Sorry for the paragraph I just don't know what I'm doing anymore

Oh that all sounds really difficult. No wonder you're worn out and frazzled.

Have you got a partner? Or any relations? It seems awful that you're having to do all of this, while recovering from being in hospital and giving birth and pumping breastmilk.

Just pumping the milk is almost a full-time job. I'm so sorry you've got all this work to do, at a time when you should be rejoicing.

Is your baby still doing well? Jaundiced, I expect. But gaining weight? And breathing well without support, I hope.

It's hard when you have two very young children who also need you. I really sympathise.

How are things, OP?
I hope you're not too exhausted and that your baby is improving.