to think my mate should speak up or shut up...

[beaniesteve]

... basically she is the most put-upon person I have ever met. Her brother stays at her house during the week as he works away from home (Nearer to where she lives) and insists on not having certain things for his dinner, which she cooks.

Her Daughter is 19 and at university (though living at home rent free) but my mate still gets up at 2 or 3 am to pick her up from nightclubs because she (my mate) says she's scared to let her get a taxi incase anything happens to her!

Her husband works nights and wakes her up when he gets home at 6am asking if she's called the insurance/found his shirt/spoken to his mother etc.

The latest thing is her Sister in Law (Who is married to her brother who stays 5 days a week) called her up last night and said 'Dave and I are going away for a weekend soon so we'll drop the kids off on our way' (they have two small sons under 6) ... no 'would you mind looking after them...' :O

I am shocked that she allows people to do this to her. I have said so many times that she should say no sometimes. I told her she should have said 'drop them off wherre?' to her sister in law, and then should explain that she will have to make other arrangements just incase my mate is unable to do it...

She is knackered. has a full time job, runs her MIL to and from hospital for treatment, takes her shopping, is in and out of hospital with her dad who actually lives nearer to her brother than to her...

She complains about it but then does nothing to change the situation!

Is this the same friend who cares when you give birth?

lol

yes

Actually I work with her so often her running around after other people impacts on me because she takes time off.

I get on so well with her, we have never argued in 10 years of working together, but it's getting to the point now where I actually think if she's not prepared to put her foot down then she needs to stop moaning to me. I've never been anything but honest with her, I have always told her I think she is doing too much and being taken for a ride by everyone.

I asked because it sounds like you're doing that offloading rant when you've spent time with the obligatory annioying friend

But to your question.

Some people just love to martyr themselves and complain.

Your job is to sympathise, which you do. She won't ever speak up to all of them you know.

Hang on, so you are complaining about your friend not complaining, but you are not complaining to her?

lol - I know - I just wanted a rant.

I guess it's particularly annoying when she has to rush off to see do something for her dad who is very ill. Not that I begrudge her doing this as I understand how difficult it can be when a loved on is very ill, but she does it all and even the times when her brother is at home (he lives twenty something miles from their dad, she lives 80 miles away!), she is still the one who drives miles.

Mind you - the men in her family do seem to put on the women an awful lot.