Can we afford to have kids?

[Polkadotbug]

This could be a long one as I don’t want to drip feed. DP and I are thinking about having children. Our current flat isn’t suitable for a baby due to space and the amount of internal and external stairs to access it.

For a modest 3 bedroom house where we live (West of Scotland) you’re looking at a home report value of around £240-£260k and houses are selling for around £15k-£30k over home report value. We have around £50k that we can use for a deposit and any amount we need to pay over the home report value. With this in mind, our mortgage payment would be around £1100 pcm on a 5 year fix.

Our joint income is £4220 after tax pcm. Total outgoings for the new house including ALL bills, groceries, petrol would be around £2900 leaving us with £1300 pcm disposable income. This would be to cover emergencies such as the car breaking down, clothes, gifts, days out, holidays if we can afford it, house maintenance/upkeep etc. This would be liveable as our disposable income at the moment is around £1800 pcm due to our low mortgage payments and we are lucky enough to have money leftover each month to save.

The worry is though that when we have a child, we would need to pay between approx £700-£950 pcm for nursery fees after I go back to work following maternity leave. This would leave us with either £600 or £350 disposable income.

I know that there will be people here who could easily live off that but the thought of it worries me. Is that liveable without worrying how we will make it to the end of each month?

I’d try not to worry. You could always condense your hours too, do a 9 day fortnight or 4 days a week with a day off. 30 free hours might come in. Anything could happen. There are so many variables, and you will make it work. X

I think if everybody waited until they could afford them then no one would ever have kids. We have 2 close together so nursery fees are £1500 a month for 3 days a week. Joint income is about the same as yours but our mortgage is only £700. We have about the same disposable income as you would have and it's doable. Obviously it was an adjustment to have such a big drop in our disposable money but it's short term (at least that's what I keep telling myself)

@Polkadotbug Not sure where abouts in the west of Scotland you are but I’m also there (hi 😊) and house prices are definitely starting to come down slightly in our area and selling closer to HR value. We’re in a desirable seaside town and we sold and bought within the last year so I’ve been keeping quite a close eye on it 😊 you might not need to go as high over HR as you think.

I agree with others though, don’t put off having children if you want them.

Go for it! That doesn't sound too bad, you'll have to tighten your belts for a few years but that's the case for nearly everyone. Childcare and/or lost income is obviously the biggest cost but that's only for a relatively short time.

Babies really don't need much - a mode of transport (car seat/pram/sling), somewhere to sleep (crib/cot/moses/safe co sleeping), nappies, clothes...thats about it! If you breastfeed that's free and everything else except the car seat can be bought second hand. Most areas have free or cheap baby and toddler groups (church halls/libraries/children's centres). If you're used to spending a lot on things like dinners and drinks out that will naturally reduce for a few years and offset the baby costs.

We did it with similar figures and it was fine.

I think you’ll be fine. Your household income and situation is so much better than many, and the perfect time to have a baby doesn’t exist!

High nursery fees are for a relatively short period of time. Even if they don’t bring in additional funded hours, you get 30 hours from age 3. So if you take a year of Mat leave you’re only paying full whack nursery fees for 2-2.5 years maximum.

Plus we were too exhausted in the baby and toddler years to go out and spend much money, so that definitely helped!

It sounds completely doable to me.

Your situation sounds very similar to ours in terms of take home pay & childcare costs however we have a 2 bed semi so our mortgage is only £700 a month. Our DD has just started nursery which costs us £620 a month for 3 full days. It’s a lot of money but it is only for a couple of years until you get free childcare hours. We’ve just accepted that we won’t be moving house until our childcare costs are much lower. Even if we do decide to have another child - they’ll just share a bedroom until we can afford to move somewhere bigger.

If you can cut down on subscriptions/memberships that’s a good thing to have as an option, but you do need to enjoy yourself so I wouldn’t do that unless you really need to.

Go for it.
Some people earn £0 and pop them out like there is no tomorrow.

You'll be okay. Its amazing how you find you can cut subscriptions etc, groom the dog yourself at home. Salaries are also likely to creep up the next year or two while your mortgage is likely to be a fixed rate for 2-3 years at least.

But - ignore the people saying they are raising kids on tuppence happeny wages with benefit top ups.

What they aren't saying is:

• they could be on social rents much cheaper than private
• UC top ups aren't taxable, for pounds in pocket it can be equivalent to far higher earned income
• some people won't include extras they may be receiving like child maintenance or DLA/pip
• when you are on a very very low income you are often eligible for many many other benefits that reduce your cash outgoings substantially

Overall these factors means its simply not comparable.

Just do it. It’s worth doing and your life will change. Don’t overthink it. We need people to have kids and it’s ace!

The fact you’re thinking about costs etc. suggests you’re a responsible person, which is a great thing, but I think perhaps you’re overthinking it at the same time.

1. It sounds like you are by no means on the breadline, which is more than a lot of people can say
2. it’s never the “right time” to have a baby, there are always unexpected costs; rising interest rates, redundancy from work, or (god forbid) ill health that life throws your way when you least expect it
3. unfortunately, even if it was the “right time” there is nothing to say it would necessarily happen quickly. If you are in a “good enough” place and kids are something you really want from life don’t leave it too long because you just never know
4. yes- children cost money to raise, but it doesn’t have to be as expensive as you necessarily think, especially at first. They really don’t need that much as newborns and there is a massive second hand market for baby products. Really, at first all they need is a way to be fed, clothed (which you’ll be gifted plenty of!), a car seat/travel system, and somewhere safe to sleep. All newborns want & need is sleep, to be clean, fed and cuddled! 5)…. You’ll find a way. Parenting (especially as a first time parent) is mostly just making it up as you go anyway 😊

Good luck OP

£150 per month on a dog?!

Thanks again for your replies, it has made us feel better. We won’t delay in trying and we will start thinking about when to buy somewhere more suitable for a baby.

@MimiGC yep, £12 a week for the dog walker. £40 a month for insurance. Around £25 a month for grooming (it’s £50 every 2 months) and £20 per month for food. Throw in treats and new toys and it may even be slightly over

@MimiGC haha my dog costs a lot more than that. Day care is at least £24 a day here

@Nw22 Yeah we're probably about £400 a month on the dog at least between daycare, food, training class, insurance, vet package for worming tablets etc. @MimiGC it costs a lot to be a good responsible dog owner.

Pretty much everyone I know went into debt during the nursery years, because a huge chunk of your income is just wiped. But you know its short term and will be repaid.