Ex refusing to share new address

[itsraininagain1982]

I have a CAO and am the lived with parent. I left their dad because of domestic abuse (Non-Molestation Order). Their dad has told me he has lost his home and can't pay the rent because he is in debt and is moving to temporary accommodation. He didnt turn up for two weeks of prearranged contact. He is now saying he wants to pick them up today but is refusing to share a new residential address. Am I being unreasonable to expect this? One of my children has autism and is already extremely anxious as a result of the first no-show for contact, its really affected them and has been self harming. They keep on asking where they will be sleeping. I have sent a few emails to ex to ask but no reply. I'm not sure what to do. I know he's doing it on purpose to be controlling but I also feel very uneasy about where the children will be sleeping. Obviously I don't always know if they go away or something but I do usually know the destination, never out of the UK as he can't do that.

That would worry me too.

I think legally he doesn't have to share his new address with you if he has parental responsibility too, I might be wrong though !
I would also not like this, your dc autistic dc needs to know what's happening, my ds is autistic and I know how anxious he would feel

Lots of people will tell you, rightly, that you have no legal right to know but barring concerns of abuse or similar, it's absolutely normal and reasonable to want to know where the other residence is. I'm pretty laid back about needing anything more than the vaguest details when my kids are with ex, I don't need holiday addresses or flight numbers etc but basic place of residence yes.

Do you think he is a risk to your children - that would be the only reason to withhold contact. I agree your child with ASD needs advanced preparation to cope better. Do they take any special soft toys with them - I would be tempted to conceal trackers in them, without telling him or them.