To be upset at not getting a present

[TryAgainAnotherDay]

Just that really. Was my birthday a month ago and today just realised SIL didn't get me a birthday gift, she sent a card but no gift.

I'm not at all fussed about presents but it's just odd. I sort out her presents and her husbands and she has always bought for DH and me. DH got a present on his birthday and the children, just not me.

She hasn't changed in the way she is towards me, and her and her husband do a lot for DH, me and the kids.

AIBU to be upset by this or should I just think nothing of it?

A month ago?

I sort out her presents and her husbands and she has always bought for DH and me.

Reading this, she’s your husband’s sister or his brother’s wife? So why are you sorting her gifts out? Your husband does
it from now on and if he forgets their birthday then oh well 🤷‍♀️

Cash flow problemos.

Maybe she wants to reduce the present buying. Often people just buy for the children. It saves money and mental energy. It probably wasn't meant to be hurtful.

Maybe in their house they've decided people sort out their own blood relations. So the person directly related to you has forgotten/CBA.

If you sent her something then she should reciprocate, but not everyone views gifts in the same way.

We have an agreement in our family that everyone gets cards, but only grandparents and children get gifts.

If I'm honest I have been open in the past about rather just buying for the children and DHs family have always dismissed the idea.

Surely if it was that she would of said

DHs sister, but I agree from now on his family are his responsibility

Seriously it will lessen the stress of your life tenfold. If you thought her a friend as well
as a sister in law that’s different but if it’s just familial obligations then it’s his family and he should be thinking about them.

I asked DH about it and he informed me it's not his problem and I need to sort it out with SIL

I'm sorry to say this on Mumsnet but...you have a DH problem.

As PPs have said, let him know his family is his responsibility from now on. They should be anyway.

Goodness my own sisters don't get je a present for my birthday! But you should do as PPs suggest - your DH sorts the present for his side, you do yours. Even my 60 plus hours a week, working away from home 100 days a year husband did that.

Well when you keep your hands and purse under your bum come December it will be his mess to explain to his family won't it?

Maybe she just didn’t have time or will give you one when she see’s you? Maybe money is tight? I wouldn’t get offended

Just don't buy her a present on her birthday...I don't mean that in a nasty, vindictive tit for tat kind of way, just in the sense that the pressident has been set now for only buying gifts for the children so just go with that! Probably a relief for you. Much easier for everyone!

I don’t tend to get my BIL gifts. I just can’t be arsed.

He just volunteered for sorting everyone's presents. Lucky chap.

Buying presents for other adults is a bloody headache unless everyone has an unlimited budget. She sent a card so acknowledged your day. As PP has said above just send a card on her birthday going forward.

Blimey! Why make your life so complicated buying presents for adults? Maybe your SlL has had enough and she wants to put a hard stop to that. Good for her!

I’ve just posted a similar thread regarding my SIL doing nothing for me or my daughter not even a card . According to the responses so far I’m unreasonable as she should only acknowledge her own brother not his chosen family.