I have 2 children - 3.5 year old DS and 6 month old DD.
DS usually goes to pre school 3/4 times a week but as he’s funded now, he’s not in as much over the summer holidays so I’ve got both of them at home with me whilst DH is at work. We don’t really have anyone else around us to help and had a rubbish time before this with hours of endless screaming from DD / reflux / CMPA / hospital and HV involvement to work out what it was for months.
I adore my children and being a parent but going from 1-2 has been so hard! It seems of late my usually impeccably behaved DS has turned into Taz and DD refuses to sleep in the day. The only way to get her to sleep is mid feed when she’s exhausted. You then can’t move her into her bed as she’ll wake straight up or scream incessantly if you try and put her down awake in her bed or put her remotely in a position on you that she associates with being put to sleep. You can’t even pop her down safely for a second to go and do something.
She’s currently learning to crawl but is at the stage of going backwards rather than forwards so if I’m able to play with DS, I have to move away every few minutes to rescue her from somewhere she’s got stuck or the same if I want to do a quick job.
If you get her to sleep it’s rare she’ll have a restful sleep as DS is so loud and takes to bringing his loudness as close to her as humanly possible. He’ll then loudly proclaim she’s awake and start talking to her so she won’t go back. I have to resort to putting some tv on to get him to be quiet so she’ll get some sleep, which I hate as I don’t want him obsessed with screens.
DS is used to getting all of our attention. We’d be able to play with him or we’d be out and about all over. His speech, manners and general self was incredible, he was so kind and considerate of others, but of late I don’t know what’s happening.
Now I really struggle to take them both out as he has now started running off and I can’t chase after him with a pram. In the house he is constantly bouncing, jumping and climbing on the sofa and won’t be told not to. Today I told him not to, so he replied he wouldn’t, to then just do it again the second he finished speaking. Repeat countless times a day, every day.
Mealtimes he now won’t sit at the table and would easily spend an hour or so up and down, preferring to run around or ‘just need to’ do something else. We’ve tried just ending the meal on the basis of him not being hungry but then he will screech and whine that he DOES want his food and run back to the table, only to leave again.
He constantly loudly repeats himself if you don’t acknowledge what he’s said immediately.
He just wants to watch TV constantly and cannot sit and play by himself. I asked him to draw me a picture today. He scribbled for a second and that was it. He gets out reams of toys; think dumping the whole box and the whole floor being covered, just to not play with them, then complains he wants to go to another room, just to repeat with other toys. He will say he ‘can’t’ play but I know he can as he will quietly play on a morning before his gro clock changes colour.
He’s started hurting when he can’t have his own way. Examples being, me sitting on the sofa holding DD asleep. He then decides a while later he wants to be where I’m sat apparently. So he comes over and starts pushing me with his feet. This then progresses into kicking me hard in the arm and stomach with both feet and then slapping me. I have to respond which ends up waking up DD and he just laughs and carries on. He doesn’t accept anything said to make him stop and with DD on me I’m pretty powerless to get him off.
If he can’t have his own way with something he will kick or try and hit you or try and pull your clothes with his hands or mouth. He will also lie on the floor booting doors with his feet. There’s a couple of children at pre-school that are under serious watch for their similar behaviours which are usually always at DS so I don’t know if he’s picking things up from them, coupled with lack of the attention he wants?
I speak to him calmly and demonstrate why he can’t do something or give him alternatives as well as giving him a safe space to ‘cool off’ but it’s so hard and my patience is wearing thin, especially when he hasn’t always been like this. I rarely ever get time to myself and it’s really getting me down and dare I say, I dread spending any time with him as he’s so far removed from the child he was and I have no idea how to make him stop.
I’ve started questioning if his behaviour is ‘normal’ for a 3 year old and often just wish I could go off by myself. This leads to so much guilt but I am hating this so much!
Does anyone have any advice or help please?