AIBU to think you don't involve your children in adult arguments?

[Bookist]

Last month my husband and I entered into an investmant opportunity with a good friend. You know that saying 'never mix business with pleasure' well it's so true. Relations have gotten quite strained and there's been arguments about which best path to take. I thought it all resolved and we were back on an even keel. But my teenage daughter has just messaged me saying our friend just collared her in Sainsburys gave her chapter and verse on how unhappy they are with us. They directly criticised my husband several times, some of it was deserved but most of it wasn't. To be honest there have been faults on both sides, but I would never dream of involving my friend's children in this way and would never openly criticise their Dad to them either.

I genuinely had no idea that our friend felt so strongly, as everything has been handled quite civilly via email and I thought it all resolved. I can't believe they would say nothing directly to husband and me, but do a huge dump on a teenage. Our daughter tried to change the subject but our friend just wouldn't let it go. And our daughters best friend was with her and heard everything. Our DD has just phoned me quite upset and stressed, her nice day out with her friend is spoilt. I don't know whether to feel furious with our friend or sad that she couldn't speak to me adult to adult?

Could you organise a face to face chat with your friend? Dumping all that on your DD was inappropriate and out of line. I think you need to put across to them how it’s made you feel and give them the opportunity to air whatever issues they have. But make it very clear they should not have approached your child about it!!

Time to start working on exit atrategy. Thia ia over the line and will not get better

Your friend has behaved appallingly and you need to tell her how upset your daughter is

How easy is it to dissolve whatever has been set up?

Your friendship is dead in the water

I would be LIVID. There is no excuse for involving your daughter in this. I would confront them, absolutely. Your friendship is over anyway, it's not like it will change anything.

I still feel so blindsided by this, I cannot believe they would have vented at our daughter like this. She's completely innocent in all this and knows hardly anything about our investments anyway. I think it's so cowardly and inappropriate of our friend to do this. I don't think we have any choice but to dismantle this investment and I wish we'd never started it. We've been good friends for over twenty years and I would have bet my house that we would never come to this.

This is awful, awful behaviour on the part of your friends. I really feel for your poor daughter.

I think you have to address this with your friend, it's totally unacceptable.

Yes, definitely exit the investment if you can.

As a minimum, a meeting where you offer to hear out their concerns, and ask them to confirm there will be no further harassment of your child.

The friendship is now firmly over, I hope.

I just don't see how we can possibly move forward after this. I can't believe it's come to this, over twenty years of friendship just over turned, they're my daughter's godparent even. I thought they were better than this, I thought I was a better judge of character than this. We're going to keep everything as business like as possible and withdraw from the investment asap.

People will always show their true colours concerning money.
You (ex) friend should be ashamed of herself.

Agree with others that’s really really bad form.

It’s poor, but it’s obviously not working so focus on a quick exit.