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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To hate receiving emails starting with just my name

79 replies

shineonyoucrazydiamondd · 03/08/2023 11:44

When people at work email me with just my name, and not Hi it makes my blood boil and I can’t help feeling that way 😂it feels abrupt and rude to me.

How hard is it to put Hi or Hello? Or am I being over sensitive? (I probably am)

OP posts:
Holscgnmusch · 03/08/2023 12:42

I’ve had messages from people a few times recently doing this – always men.

An electrician, a seller on ebay, someone I‘m doing some work for.

’Anna, have you done x?’
‘Anna, how am I meant to pay now?’
’Anna, I need to have a look then I will confirm.’

It is rude.

I feel like it’s intended to convey assertiveness and self-assurance. Imo it conveys that the person is a rude twat.

Holscgnmusch · 03/08/2023 12:46

RashOfBees · 03/08/2023 12:41

Reads like a reprimand.

I have done this once or twice when I really have been annoyed with something somebody has done, I’m not feeling kindly disposed to them as a result and I want to signal that.

People who do it as a matter of course come across as arrogant.

Reads like a reprimand.

Precisely

UpperLowerMiddleClass · 03/08/2023 12:47

I irrationally feel annoyed at my colleague who always signs off emails with ‘best’ rather than ‘best wishes’.

Best what?! It’s the weird grammar that annoys me.

MavisChunch29 · 03/08/2023 12:49

Well I find it perfectly normal, professional and not rude to use name first name only.

Hi is rude when you don't know me.

MavisChunch29 · 03/08/2023 12:50

Also shortening my name when you don't know me.

Mave...

Aaargh.

WhiteFire · 03/08/2023 12:56

I always used to put just a name, and then I read on MN about how bad it apparently is, and now I add something in front.

montecarlo7 · 03/08/2023 13:15

Yes, you're right to hate it. I only did it once, to someone I was angry with.

Savemesos · 03/08/2023 13:15

UpperLowerMiddleClass · 03/08/2023 12:47

I irrationally feel annoyed at my colleague who always signs off emails with ‘best’ rather than ‘best wishes’.

Best what?! It’s the weird grammar that annoys me.

I agree this is weird.

i kinda like the direct approach in emails - sometimes I agonise over the small talk! But I do find the name only greeting rude.

I usually always sign off just saying ‘thanks’ (if it’s internal).

Desperatenow1 · 03/08/2023 13:18

I take it these are social/home type emails rather than work emails? No one in my industry sends work emails saying hi so and so...it just seems a bit childish and unprofessional.

SunRainStorm · 03/08/2023 13:23

It's rude.

Some people really need to read their emails back before they send them. So many unnecessarily rude sounding emails just because someone couldn't be bothered

Laska2Meryls · 03/08/2023 13:30

I absolutely hate 'Kind Regards' .. (especially when it used to come from a boss who I knew loathed me and so I knew was utterly insincere... Anyway apart from that... ) Whenever I see it I just want to reply with ' ....as opposed to Unkind Regards ?'
I alway just put Regards ..

The other thing is 'Polite Notice'
I mean, Why? A notice doesn't need a heading to say that its a notice.. its obvious its a notice !! . ( Again, am tempted to get out the pen every time and add an 'Im' in front ..

But I dont have much to do with my life !!😂

HoogahToogah · 03/08/2023 13:42

MavisChunch29 · 03/08/2023 12:30

For me:

  • Dear Mavis or Dear Ms Chunch when you don't know me
  • Mavis on its own is standard usage
  • Hi Mavis is ok when you know me or we have become on friendly terms or email each other a lot. Otherwise it's really overly informal and rude. It's particularly rude if you are some random from Octopus or South East Trains or whatever.
  • No salutation at all - delete and ignore.

"Hi (name)" being classed is rude baffles me, I actually think it's very respectful. They may not know you, but they're addressing you with courtesy. Not sure how anyone could be offended by that

HarryBlackberry1 · 03/08/2023 14:01

I hate this too. I have a female manager who does this - it really winds me up. It just seems dismissive and not worthy of a 'hi'.

Bananaspliff · 03/08/2023 14:11

Doesn’t bother me.
I have an obviously female first name and a surname that’s a common boys name - for example Sarah Thomas. It really annoys me when people don’t read my email signature properly and reply “Hi Thomas” rather than “Hi Sarah”.

MavisChunch29 · 03/08/2023 14:14

HoogahToogah · 03/08/2023 13:42

"Hi (name)" being classed is rude baffles me, I actually think it's very respectful. They may not know you, but they're addressing you with courtesy. Not sure how anyone could be offended by that

Show quote history

Hi is much too informal for a professional email unless you know the person and are on friendly terms.

Andanotherone01 · 03/08/2023 14:16

DuploTrain · 03/08/2023 11:50

I find it really rude, it’s like you’re being told off.

The person I know who does it is a woman. She is very direct and efficient. But quite nice in person, so I try to give her the benefit of the doubt… I would never do it though.

Exactly the same. My female manager does this. She is uber efficient and really nice but the act of not putting “Hi X” really annoys me.

MavisChunch29 · 03/08/2023 14:19

VinoVeritas1 · 03/08/2023 12:07

“Vino

Can you add these data sets into the appendices please, not the main body of the report.”

Me -

Yes. Will do.

I’m just as abrupt tbh & don’t think anything of it

Exactly, as long as you say please and thank you, it's professional, direct and doesn't waste anyone's time.

Hi is just so irritating and unnecessary a lot of the time.

ByeByeMr · 03/08/2023 14:21

YANBU, I used to really hate that too when I worked in an office. It was usually management that sent emails like that. There's no need for it though. Not all people in authority do this though including my dh and my current boss (headteacher). They say hello. The opposite is just rude imo.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 03/08/2023 14:28

I prefer it when they just get to the point - if it's somebody I know, I read it in the voice of the person that's written it and that's fine (a 'morning' or 'can I ask a favour?' is fine, too); 'Mooncup - Do this' reminds me of calling an animal to attention in terms of the rhythm/cadence.

Taking the time to type my name irritates in a way 'Do you know where the end of month report is saved?' doesn't.

MavisChunch29 · 03/08/2023 14:30

"Hi" also sounds a little insubordinate somehow, lacking in respect, unless you are my friend.

I'd much rather someone just use my name, spell it correctly and don't assume you can shorten it or if in doubt, put "Dear" or "Good morning".

Better to err on the side of formality rather than assume informality is ok.

BigBeeee · 03/08/2023 14:33

I do this. I'll probably to continue to do it as I think 'hi' in a work email sounds too familiar and chatty.

Margrethe · 03/08/2023 14:34

So far, this thread has shown there is no standard salutation or sign off that is unobjectionable to all.

I can’t see a “safe” way to send a work email anymore!

JogOn123 · 03/08/2023 14:37

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

DoubleHelix79 · 03/08/2023 14:37

The only person who used to do this to me was a middle aged guy whose strong point did not include social interactions. He was generally patronising and utterly infuriating. He used to ask me to complete menial tasks, on my day off, that were definitely not part of my role. No thank you of course. I'm older now and would tell him much, much quicker to f off.

RashOfBees · 03/08/2023 14:41

I have a colleague who always uses the salutation ‘hail’. Makes me feel like a Roman general, which I rather like.