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Original poster

What hints do the host give when you have stayed too long

41 replies

user1471554720 · 02/08/2023 23:02

Following from another thread, what hints would the host give to get you to leave? I offer people a second cup of tea, more drinks when the conversation is flowing.

I get a guest to leave by clearing away glasses, saying I am tired.

In a restaurant if the staff ask 'do you want anything else? ' I often order more coffee particularly if the conversation is flowing. I heard recently that it is a code to get you to leave.

OP posts:
ThinWomansBrain · 02/08/2023 23:11

Friends of friends have a playlist set up that consists solely of 'goodbye' songs.
My Dad used to get the vacuum cleaner out (and often change into his pyjamas)

XenoBitch · 02/08/2023 23:12

Slapping their thighs and uttering 'right then' at the same time.

Thegrumpycup · 02/08/2023 23:13

Just seen that! It is an unspoken rule amongst parents is it not that you leave when the kids go to bed so the parents can get a rest?!

I'm very direct with guests, especially my family. Subtly does not work on them. It needs to be spelled out as plainly as 'Please fuck off when the kids go to bed. Thanks.'

BrawnWild · 02/08/2023 23:15

I get up after a pause, start packing stuff away and say "it's been lovely seeing you, we must do it again sometime."

Subtle as a brick.

Failing that, I say I need to pop out for an imaginary chore, possibly offering a lift home.

EarringsandLipstick · 02/08/2023 23:15

My Dad used to get the vacuum cleaner out (and often change into his pyjamas)

Brilliant 😂

Subtle, eh?!

Amniceandgenuine · 02/08/2023 23:17

Luckily my friends are all the same page so just a general right I am now going to do ….is enough.

TappingTed · 02/08/2023 23:17

Why would offering a second cup of tea be a message to leave? Or ordering coffee? Wtf and I reading?

I might say “what time were you thinking of leaving as I have work in the morning/ want an early night/need to get up at 7” but generally if I’m having a nice time I don’t have a time limit on it…

QueefQueen80s · 02/08/2023 23:20

Typical Yorkshire "right I've kept you long enough" or "I'll let you get off then" 🤣

cruffinsmuffin · 02/08/2023 23:20

I'm on the same page as all of my friends and we prearrange our time we're finished by - we all want to be relaxing in bed by the same time 😂

Family it's harder - the PIL never take a hint so DH just tells them to go now.

IWillWatchTheDogs · 02/08/2023 23:21

There's usually a lot of sighing and less replies to conversation.

Mytattooisbiggerthanyours · 02/08/2023 23:25

I go into the kitchen, bring back a big bowl and tell everyone to put their car keys in as “now’s the time for the fun to begin.” They all make excuses and leave. It’s hilarious but we never get invited back for some reason.

TheSilentSister · 02/08/2023 23:26

Many many years ago, my family and I had an invitation to a posh do. The card said 'carriages at 4pm'. I found that so amusing and formal, like in the olden days.
It must have stuck in my mind as in later years I used it when inviting my parents for Sunday lunch. I'd wait until we'd ate lunch and then announce 'carriages at 3/4/5' depending on how I felt. Parents used to laugh but totally got it, and made sure they left at the exact time, lol.

Mammyloveswine · 02/08/2023 23:27

That's batshit? If someone is offering more drinks and convo is flowing then I'd be thinking "what a fab time!" And crack on 😂😂

eatinglunchinthecar · 02/08/2023 23:28

My dad was never one for chit chat and if guests came for dinner and overstayed their welcome, he'd just go to bed and leave them with my mum. 😘

cinnamonfrenchtoast · 02/08/2023 23:29

eatinglunchinthecar · 02/08/2023 23:28

My dad was never one for chit chat and if guests came for dinner and overstayed their welcome, he'd just go to bed and leave them with my mum. 😘

Mine too 🙈

He still does it now if I stay over and he's done talking 😂

fullbloom87 · 02/08/2023 23:29

I stretch and yawn usually.

Clymene · 02/08/2023 23:30

I just say 'I'm so sorry, I'm going to have to go to bed. Help yourselves to anything and please make sure the dog doesn't get out when you go'.

They generally go at that point but I wouldn't care if they stayed.

OrangeySnicket · 02/08/2023 23:30

Thegrumpycup · 02/08/2023 23:13

Just seen that! It is an unspoken rule amongst parents is it not that you leave when the kids go to bed so the parents can get a rest?!

I'm very direct with guests, especially my family. Subtly does not work on them. It needs to be spelled out as plainly as 'Please fuck off when the kids go to bed. Thanks.'

I'd hate people to leave when kids are in need, it would be the first opportunity to have a decent conversation that isn't peppered by 'Mummy Mummy Mummy'!

Moveoverdarlin · 02/08/2023 23:35

Wedding invitations still say carriages at midnight. It’s easy getting rid of people at night time, you can yawn, start clearing glasses and say ‘Gosh is that the time?’ But I’ve got a friend that comes in the afternoon for play dates with her DC. She plonks herself down at my island and stays there for four hours. Her record was 5 cups of tea once.

DMLady · 02/08/2023 23:39

Mytattooisbiggerthanyours · 02/08/2023 23:25

I go into the kitchen, bring back a big bowl and tell everyone to put their car keys in as “now’s the time for the fun to begin.” They all make excuses and leave. It’s hilarious but we never get invited back for some reason.

This made me laugh a lot. Thank you!

Maddy70 · 02/08/2023 23:44

"Bugger off now. I've got work in the morning "

A friend of mine used to draw an arrow in shake n vac to the door and go to bed. 🤣

SkalengeckOrSiegbarste · 02/08/2023 23:47

When we had our first DD, MIL taught us a saying to help get rid of visitors If we were worn out with all the newborn well wishers. "Can we get you another/last drink before you get off?"
It usually works. But if a guest/s are not taking the hint, we start tidying or ask the older kids to start running a bath for the younger ones.

Snoopsnoggysnog · 02/08/2023 23:47

cinnamonfrenchtoast · 02/08/2023 23:29

Mine too 🙈

He still does it now if I stay over and he's done talking 😂

Show quote history

My dad does this too and always has done!!

Canisaysomething · 02/08/2023 23:49

Slap both hands on knees, stand up and say "right well, thanks so much for coming" and stay stood up until guests slowly rise from their seats and leave.

watcherintherye · 02/08/2023 23:52

My very dear, but blunt, friend will just get up and say, “well, thank you so much for coming, it’s been lovely….” when she’s had enough!