Mental Health Meltdown

8 replies

Littlelovebug · 02/08/2023 23:01

I've had a complete and utter mental health meltdown this afternoon.

I've screamed at my boyfriend, grabbed his face, said horrible stuff.

I've scared our cat. He's fine. Just spooked when I was shouting.

I've said sorry. He didn't deserve that today. He is OK.

I can go like this when my medication needs upping but doesn't stop the guilt.

I'm 38 with long standing mental health issues. I've been great for months, back to square one again.

Should I leave him so he can have a normal girlfriend.

I used to say horrible stuff to my dad before I was diagnosed, which is something I will never be able to forgive myself for.

OP posts:

KenAddams · 02/08/2023 23:16

The lifting your hands is never the answer, But you know that, what kid of things were you saying seems a pattern that the nastiness is toward men? I hope your OK op and please go see about upping your meds it's a nightmare to feel this way x

XenoBitch · 02/08/2023 23:19

If it was reversed (OP was posting about you as a man), then most comments would be to LTB.
You know you are struggling, and now is the time to get some help.

cruffinsmuffin · 02/08/2023 23:24

You're clearly struggling with things however if a friend of mine came to me and told me their partner had done to them what you did to your boyfriend, regardless of their partners mental health issues, I'd be telling them to run far away and don't look back.

Grabbing someone's face / screaming etc isn't okay even if it's coming from a place of struggling with your mental health.

Do you have any other warning signs before that sort of thing? Hope you've got some IRL support you can access to talk about your medication situation asap.

Sittingonasale · 02/08/2023 23:28

I think it depends what kind of MHP.

I've had (what I think) was an absolute breakdown this last year. I suddenly started getting extreme anxiety after I started losing weight and went though several health scares. I was calling my mum (I'm 42 with 3 kids) at night to come and stay with me literally sure I was dying, going back and forth to doctor including hospital with all sorts of symptoms. Having lots of panic attacks which was just horrible. I had to have a time off work as well.
I have never been like this before but I have had depression in the past and quite a lot of stress. It was like I suddenly went from independent ( which I always have been) to totally dependent on my 76 year old mum.
I stopped eating and lost nearly 4 stone in a few months.

Anyway, fast forward a few months and I'm a lot better and don't know where the hell this came from and I hope it doesn't happen again. I think getting the right mix of meds is what worked for me.

I'd have a very open conversation about it with your dp. You know you have a longstanding problem and if you get the right help, I don't see why (if he wants to) you can't work through this.

BungleandGeorge · 02/08/2023 23:29

Yes I think you should probably leave him, grabbing someone’s face, screaming, saying horrible things etc is domestic violence and he shouldn’t have to live like that.

Sittingonasale · 02/08/2023 23:32

I agree with pps that grabbing dps face really is abuse. I had skipped this bit somewhere. That cannot continue and is a worrying sign.

Thegoodbadandugly · 02/08/2023 23:34

Having mental health issues is never ever an excuse for abusing people. You are probably best leaving and having some time on your own till you have sorted yourself out.

Andifeelheavymetal · 02/08/2023 23:35

Follow your crisis plan and get help.

As others have said if this were posted from the other perspective we'd all be telling your partner to leave you/report for DV, so MH issues or not be prepared he may do this as is his right to do so.

You have clarity of thought to know what you did was wrong so have the clarity of thought to get help.

Flip