I'm a MN lurker but daring to post! Apologies, it's long. Could use your advice to stop myself worrying over this and just make a decision, I feel daft even having to ask others but here I am overthinking as per.
So I'm the kind of person who questions myself about doing the right thing and feels a lot of guilt over things like this, I worry and debate decisions in my head which drives my DP mad (he thinks if you don't want to do something, you just shouldn't and it won't be a big deal).
So.. I'm 31, I'm 27 weeks pregnant with my first, hitting a bit of a 'sore back, always tired and CBA' phase but otherwise having a pretty easy time of it.
I got a Facebook message tonight from the partner of a work friend, inviting me to her surprise 40th birthday gathering at a bar in the city centre on Saturday evening. Never met or spoken to the partner, or any of my friend's other friends/family.
Been in my job just over a year. Trained with my friend, we all work from home full time but I speak to her on Teams most days and I get on well with her. We car share on the very odd occasion that we have to go into the office (once every 6 months or so). She's helped me out with nipping me home from the garage when I had to drop my car off there for a repair (we live about a 5 min drive apart).
We haven't seen each other outside work other than the garage thing, but coincidentally have arranged to go for lunch together on Friday as we kept saying we must meet up, and we're both on leave on Friday by chance.
I am pretty much an introvert - small circle of close friends who I've known for years. I like parties and being sociable though, but dread going to things on my own.
DP has been invited with me but he's going on a weekend away with his friends. Asked my circle of friends if anyone's free to join me at this party for an hour or two, hoping I could show my face, have a (non alcoholic) drink and then make my pregnant excuses and go home for my PJs! However, tumbleweed on the group chat (kinda don't blame them).
Feel obliged to go to this gathering as I like this friend but will feel extremely awkward turning up alone, no idea how many people are going, only know my friend and she'll be socialising with everyone. I wish I hadn't been invited if I'm honest.
It's in a busy bar and last time I went there I caught covid 😂 and I live in a 'party city', and really CBA with drunk people, small talk with people I don't know (pit of dread at the thought) etc.
Feel extra pressure as there is something up with my Facebook messenger app - I very very rarely use it, and it seems to only sometimes send me notifications. I got one this evening from friend's partner, and when I then went into the inbox, I saw I had a message from friend's sister (never met her) asking if I was the person she thought I was and inviting me, on 29th July! And two missed facebook voice calls (no idea how/why my phone didn't ring) from the sister at about 7pm tonight. So that's making me think this must be a small gathering and they are struggling for numbers, as they've really tried to get hold of me. Like I say - we are friends but not 'close' friends if that makes sense, so the effort to contact me makes me think they need as many people to come as possible to make it look busy? And of course I'm now worried the sister will think I've intentionally avoided opening or replying to the message from Saturday, when I genuinely didn't know it was there.
This is so long and typical of my anxious and probably irrational thoughts.
Anyway, what would you do?