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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Adult Children Returning from Uni

36 replies

TheSlowRush · 02/08/2023 18:15

Yes incredibly proud of your First Class Honours Degree, now you are at home looking at cleaning jobs 🙈
It’s been two days since he arrived home.
Three rooms of the house are taken up with his shit.
He has three wet towels on his bedroom floor.
He left the light/fan on in the bathroom for an hour.
He has prioritised joining a gym over getting a job.
Hes ditching his crockery in the sink rather than stacking it in the dishwasher next to the sink.
I am trying to not regress back into nagging mother and to establish this adult relationship with him but seriously fuck my life.
Anyone else? 🙈🙈🙈

OP posts:

pointythings · 02/08/2023 20:08

My oldest graduated last year and didn't come home at all, she's been working part time and saving, and she's starting a master's this year. She's a very orderly soul. Youngest is home with me for a year after second year because he's taking a year out to stay with his cohort (they are all on placement but he is a wheelchair user and it has been hard/impossible to find a suitable placement). He's actively looking for work and has also started networking in preparation for life after university. His room is neat and he does what he physically can, and cares for the cats when I'm at work. They aren't all like that. Get tough with yours, OP!

Original poster

TheSlowRush · 02/08/2023 20:13

But I did make the most of them all while I had them. I brought them up alone 🙈🙈🙈

OP posts:

Notveryanything · 02/08/2023 20:32

NeverTrustAPoliceman · 02/08/2023 18:56

Please don't keep blaming the pandemic for their inability to behave as a decent adult. It did not affect their ability to pick up towels or stack the dishwasher.

Absolutely agree. This cannot become a lifelong reason for not dealing with adult life.

We all lived through the pandemic- apart from those who weren't that lucky. We all had various difficulties and stresses and strains during that time.

Willmafrockfit · 02/08/2023 20:43

ignore the mess op
obviously some readjustment on both sides

Willmafrockfit · 02/08/2023 20:48

it took the pandemic for my dc to come back after finishing uni and job searching
so much stuff
she has gone again

dancinfeet · 02/08/2023 20:52

back from uni for the summer, found a job but it doesn’t start for another two weeks, bedroom is knee deep in stuff (clothes, accessories) and my bowls/ plates are rapidly disappearing meaning that they are submerged in the bedroom somewhere. the kitchen cupboards are stripped bare of biscuits, and loo roll disappears at an alarming rate. Still love having her back though!

Willmafrockfit · 02/08/2023 20:54

mine used to shower at odd times of the day and night!

TheWayoftheLeaf · 03/08/2023 10:27

I will say you need to give him a break on the jobs front. It's ridiculously hard out there.

It took me 7 months to get a job in my industry and that was back in 2018. 7 MONTHS. He's been there 3 days.

He's likely to be on a filler job like cleaning until he lands a graduate role. Give him a break on that one.

TheWayoftheLeaf · 03/08/2023 10:27

RoyalImpatience · 02/08/2023 18:24

Don't they start too apply before they leave uni

Yes and they often don't get one by the time they leave.

Sittingish · 03/08/2023 10:30

cloudsandream · 02/08/2023 19:08

It’s only been two days since he arrived home, two. When I moved back home when I finished uni afew years back my parents were kind enough to give me atleast a week to settle back in and unpack at my own pace. Leaving a bustling student lifestyle back to your parents home can mostly definitely be a cultural shock. It can be alot to process.

I’m lucky enough my parents were patient when I applied for jobs and supported me. They didn’t bitch about me online nor did they enforce harsh rules or threaten to kick me out like many mothers on this forum do. General consensus on mumsnet consists of women hating on their adult children for returning home when the rent and job market is absolutely bollocks right now. Madness.

‘They didn’t bitch about me online’

You have no idea about that ;-) They may have grumbled a bit about you with their friends. Venting about your kids doesn’t make someone a bad parent; that’s such a weird concept.

cloudsandream · 03/08/2023 10:57

Sittingish · 03/08/2023 10:30

‘They didn’t bitch about me online’

You have no idea about that ;-) They may have grumbled a bit about you with their friends. Venting about your kids doesn’t make someone a bad parent; that’s such a weird concept.

Show quote history

No, they didn’t, but thank you so much for sharing your attempt to be smart. I made it crystal clear that if my parents had a problem with me, tell me. The same thing for them. Unfortunately many people lack communication and fester on it :)

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