Moving up North from SE

[Mc1103]

Hello, I currently rent in Hertfordshire/Essex area with my fiance and we are saving as much as we can but cannot afford a house or to even by a flat near my parents who are in the same town. My partner is from Lancashire and we travel multiple times a year up there and he misses being closer to friends and family.

We are considering moving up north but with a stop its 5 hours drive which I am feeling very guilty for my parents having to make that journey and I would rather us travel down by train. AIBU to want to move half way? 2 hours from each parents rather than all the way up to Lancashire? I have some family near Sheffield which has great transport links and this is before children which would not be for a few years. We would likely move closer to his family if/when we have children.

If you're planning to move again in a few years I can't see the point in moving halfway tbh, it sounds like the worst of both worlds. You'd make friends etc then have to leave again. Plus if you're planning to buy halfway then sell that's two sets of legal fees, stamp duty etc. I'd just make the move to Lancashire if I were you, but then I don't see my parents that often and they're half an hour away

I'd make the move to Lancashire, don't see point of buying half way. Perhps you can afford a place with enough space for parents to stay?

I think you may as well just make the move now if it's on the cards further down the line and in definitely not a biased Lancashire lass. Is there a reason you would be getting the train to see them rather than driving?

Growing up my closest aunt and cousins lived in Reading and we still saw them every 8-10 weeks, my Aunty and my dad just alternated the drive.

Tbh the driving isn't too bad if you are staying couple of days

Thanks for everyone's messages. I guess the one benefit of halfway would mean parents could visit in a day or we could go for the day but yes it would mean moving twice unless my parents moved up halfway too!

How old are your parents? We moved four hours away when my parents were in their early 60s and they were fine making the drive every 6-8 weeks (we alternated) for several years, but as they aged it started to become more difficult for them - my DF developed a problem with his vision which means he can no longer drive in the dark, which caused limitations in winter. (We ended up moving back, partly for other reasons but their health was a big factor).

What about south of Manchester? Depends how far into Essex you are but say Altrincham to St Albans is around 2.5 hours (with a good wind).

Aah see that is my one worry. They are early 60s so would likely be fine for a while. I guess there is no right or wrong answer, just big life decisions!! We would probably struggle financially to move back down which is why I am hesitant, especially how expensive house prices are down here!

Yeah that is an option being south of Manchester. We did go to uni in Chester too. The train tickets on the West Coast are always more expensive than east coast LNER so that was something to think about too. Thanks for the advice!

I think you're prioritising your family over his which seems rather unfair. Your suggested compromise of Sheffield means you're then near to more of your family yet again.

Lancashire is a much more practical solution given you want to buy a property. He's currently living near your family but you can't afford to buy there. It makes sense to move to Lancashire unless you're expecting your family to drive to visit you there every day? It's 200 miles, hardly Australia.

I wouldn’t move twice, you’ll settle and have to leave people.
is there any reason your parents can’t get the train? It’s 2.5 hours direct from Euston. Would they always need the car when they visit?

Yeah they could get the train but have some mobility issues so would more likely drive

Nope, can't see the point in moving half way and not being close to either area, so a lot more travel. You need to bite the bullet and either move to Lancashire or stay where you are. Especially if you think you're going to move again in a few years - what about all the cost, stress, etc of moving twice, not to mention time to settle into a new area, knowing you're going to leave it soon.

I think you're far better finding somewhere to live in Lancashire that's close to travel networks, i.e. a main line railway station (probably Preston) an close to the M6 motorway (again probably Preston). That will minimise the travel time.

If you move to somewhere like Southport (not strictly Lancashire), or Burnley, or Blackpool, or Kirkby Lonsdale, Silverdale, etc., you're going to be another half hour away before you get to the main railway line or the M6.

So concentrate your efforts on finding somewhere close to the North/South transport network and save that extra half hour off journeys.

I wouldn’t move halfway - it’s trying to please everyone but actually pleases no-one. I’d just move to Lancashire.