DD had a friend over yesterday (both 10yo). We live right opposite the play park and they met a couple of other friends (also 10yo) there who walked back across the road to our flat with them. I was doing lunch for DD and her friend, and there was plenty to go around so I offered the other two friends lunch, as long as they asked their parents (they had phones with them).
Anyway, I've met these additional two friends before briefly, and they seemed fairly well behaved. They weren't the worst behaved when they were here for the afternoon, but they proved themselves to be a bit more a handful than DD and her friend, shall we say, over the course of the afternoon.
I was sat in the living room at one point, and the four of them were in and out of different rooms, playing some sort of game. They were all happy playing so I left them to it. At one point I noticed the two additional friends had gone into the kitchen as I could hear them in there. As they were playing some role playing game, I thought nothing of it. There was nothing dangerous in the kitchen to hurt them and I was keeping my ear to the ground.
Fast forward to the next morning and I notice £3 missing from on top of the microwave. I keep some change up there out of the way in the same spot to ensure I have my daughter's pocket money ready each weekend (otherwise I end up spending it if it's in my pocket). When all the kids were here yesterday I hadn't considered the possibility of any of them taking it. At the same time, I wouldn't have expected any of them to take it.
This morning, I asked DD, who I knew wouldn't have taken it, and assured her I trusted her, but was more concerned with the others. The friend she had originally invited, I also knew didn't take it, as they both stuck together and didn't go in the kitchen (I have a small flat, so it's easy to tell who is where just by listening) and she is just not the type to do something like that. Without having to suggest the other two friends, who were the more boisterous of the lot, and could be heard in general being nosy in my daughter's room at one point (she had to tell them to stop going through her drawers, wardrobe, etc), DD said she heard them in the kitchen too, and at one point she heard one of them say to the other 'Look!' as if they had found something of interest. She then said she felt it could be one of them in particular, as she always has money on her, which DD said she found odd.
I will obviously be more careful about leaving money around from now on, so I'm not looking to be told that. I'm not bothered about the money itself, it was just a few pounds, and I'll get over that. But I'm wondering what would you do in this situation? I know the money was there before they left, and after they had gone, the money had gone too. I have very gently said to DD that neither of those friends will be able to come over again until one or both of them comes forward and is honest and returns the money, which I think is fair. I've also said, that if she sees them then she doesn't have to say anything to them if she doesn't want to as I don't want her to feel uncomfortable. It wasn't her fault. Should I contact their parents? Just leave it? One of them left their coat here and will be coming to collect it over the week. Should I say something then? This is a new situation to me. I don't want to be unreasonable about it, but if they come to the door again expecting to be invited in, I don't feel comfortable about that either, or their influence on DD (who in fairness to her knows it was wrong of them to steal and has now said they can be a bit rebellious). I'm also aware that sometimes kids do silly things, which can be a one off, and I don't want to judge them based on this one incident. But, yeah, there's still the principle of it. How would you handle this?