Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

raised voice with 8 month old

12 replies

hunja · 31/07/2023 20:04

I feel terrible. He was only messing around twisting and turning and starting to cry a bit as I was trying to put his clothes on for bed. I really raised my voice and said please stop! a couple of times. He cried more and then I forcefully zipped up his clothes (no physically force at all in any way, to be clear, just held his arms back as I zipped up).

I feel terrible I raised my voice. It’s making me feel sick. I can’t stop thinking about it at all. Do I need to get professional help to try and manage myself better? I feel like 99% of people would never ever raise a voice at a baby like this and I don’t know what to do, I can’t stop going over it.

OP posts:
BlastedIce · 31/07/2023 20:06

You’re a tired stressed mum…. We’ve all been there!

Don’t be so hard on yourself!

it’s not a common occurrence?

Smoky1107 · 31/07/2023 20:07

I raised my voice at my six week old, I was exhausted and she did nothing but cry.
She's a 19 year old who is fab and we get on very very well. She's a pleasant young lady who enjoyed childhood.
Please don't worry xx

rubyslippers · 31/07/2023 20:08

Stop being so hard on yourself
lots Of people shout - if you had a toddler and a baby and had to yell at them to stop doing something your baby would hear that
Having a baby can be challenging and tiring - you raised your voice
a million parents have done the same
tomorrow is a new day

isitaline97 · 31/07/2023 20:09

I agree don't beat yourself up about it! Motherhood is hard and tiring. The fact your here so upset about it shows your a good person. Next time try to put baby down somewhere safe and take a few moments for yourself 💖 a quick 60 second breathing meditation works wonders honestly

Eylis · 31/07/2023 20:10

Bloody hell give yourself a break.

And you're wrong about the 99% thing it's probably closer to the other way around.

Chill out 😎

MixedTocopherols · 31/07/2023 20:10

Honestly, I think a lot of exhausted parents have shouted at a baby, and then felt absolutely terrible about it for ever. You’re not alone!

I did it, really shouted, when DS was about 7 months old and I was sleep deprived to the point of utter brokenness. I still worry about it now and then. He’s sixteen Grin

He is totally fine and we get on really well — it was not the beginning of a shouty relationship.

Your baby will be fine and if it’s a one-off, really don’t beat yourself up. Try to be gentle to yourself as well as to him.

Original poster
hunja · 31/07/2023 20:11

BlastedIce · 31/07/2023 20:06

You’re a tired stressed mum…. We’ve all been there!

Don’t be so hard on yourself!

it’s not a common occurrence?

@BlastedIce i think I have done it before once or twice but not like this. Usually I am happy and laughing around him and I hate myself that I’ve let that slip. He doesn’t deserve it, not that any baby would (!), but he is genuinely a really really lovely easy baby. I feel so shit

OP posts:
Original poster
hunja · 31/07/2023 20:12

Smoky1107 · 31/07/2023 20:07

I raised my voice at my six week old, I was exhausted and she did nothing but cry.
She's a 19 year old who is fab and we get on very very well. She's a pleasant young lady who enjoyed childhood.
Please don't worry xx

@Smoky1107 thank you xx

OP posts:
Original poster
hunja · 31/07/2023 20:13

MixedTocopherols · 31/07/2023 20:10

Honestly, I think a lot of exhausted parents have shouted at a baby, and then felt absolutely terrible about it for ever. You’re not alone!

I did it, really shouted, when DS was about 7 months old and I was sleep deprived to the point of utter brokenness. I still worry about it now and then. He’s sixteen Grin

He is totally fine and we get on really well — it was not the beginning of a shouty relationship.

Your baby will be fine and if it’s a one-off, really don’t beat yourself up. Try to be gentle to yourself as well as to him.

@MixedTocopherols thank you. When I picked him up to say sorry and rock him he looked really annoyed at me and sort of turned his head why I tried to kiss him a few times. I really think he was cross with me.

OP posts:
Original poster
hunja · 31/07/2023 20:15

rubyslippers · 31/07/2023 20:08

Stop being so hard on yourself
lots Of people shout - if you had a toddler and a baby and had to yell at them to stop doing something your baby would hear that
Having a baby can be challenging and tiring - you raised your voice
a million parents have done the same
tomorrow is a new day

@rubyslippers that’s true but I think he knew I was shouting at him specifically as I was struggling to get his clothes on and right up close to him. I have tears every time I think about it! It scared me that I suddenly felt SO annoyed about it. Usually I would just wait it out.

OP posts:
Cornettoninja · 31/07/2023 20:16

He probably wasn’t but even if he was that’s ok. That’s just a pretty normal human relationship. You love him, he loves you and you both have nerves that the other can get on.

It’s the end of the day, you’ve told him he’s loved and you’re sorry, let him feel his feelings and you’ll both be back on an even keel tomorrow.

jannier · 31/07/2023 21:58

99% will have done what you did/said

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread