Some of you may of seen a recent post I have made where I have been through a lot recently with a breast cancer diagnosis, currently undergoing chemotherapy, and my partner losing his job for the second time in a year but ultimately the issue being he hardly stepped up to help with the basics when I needed it and blamed his unhappiness at work on this.
We had a conversation where I voiced my concerns about our future, as me nearly age 30 with a mortgage and the usual responsibilities, was concerned that moving forward financially we would not be stable if we were to commit to a house etc together with his past.
Part of this conversation was him understanding that yes he can see where I am coming from, but he feels I was being erratic and not thinking straight due to the medication I am currently on. Please note I am holding down a house, dog, cat, and full time work so I can't be that mentally unwell otherwise all of this would be falling apart also. I am looking after myself, eating well and exercising when I feel well enough to.
Since then, he has commented that I was psycho in that week 'as a joke', yesterday called me spoilt and also claimed that I am only happy when I get what I want (in front of my parents), also as 'jokes'. His way of doing it is he will say it and then give me a little squeeze, or when I say for example, do you really think I am psycho, he will say no of course not it is a joke.
I have brought this up with him today and he has said that I make him feel like he cannot speak, he is treading on eggshells, that I just stew on things and bring them up later, and that I am overly sensitive (but apparently have a right to be). He point blank refused to admit he had called me a psycho, and 30 minutes later accidentally slipped up and admitted he said it, and then changed it to he doesn't know if I said it or not. I pointed out that had the conversation ended before he admitted it, that I would of thought I was yet again in the wrong and he had not said it. I am getting to a point where I feel I am going insane and being told that I am going mad, that I have heard what he has said wrong and that I should be taking these insults as a joke, it is really getting me down.
He also said my Father agrees with him on the medication and that I am not well at all in the head during this period (he has never mentioned this to me and has never even hinted at it), and that my Mum fully understands his job situation and feels he is doing all he can (she has said different to me). I have not had chance to speak to them yet about this but I do feel it is likely false.
The reason why I question myself wanting to split up from him is A) the upset and the nice memories we have together, but B) he can be such a nice person, and in other ways has helped such as helping me decorate parts of my house including taking time off to do so, offers to help with little things like a lift somewhere etc. I obviously have done lots for him, it is not tit for tat but he mentions these things he has helped him with when we argue.
AIBU to break up with my partner over the above.