Feel really guilty lashing out at boyfriend

[teddybear73]

I’ve been struggling with a few things recently and took it out on my boyfriend today. I feel awful.

My boyfriend stays at mine 3 nights a week and I always buy/make him lunches for work. This morning I was in a rush getting ready and I asked him to heat up the lunches and pop them in a Tupperware box for us.

I came in 10 mins later and he had already eaten breakfast and hardly even made a start on lunch. We always eat breakfast together so this upset me. It sounds silly now but I was so moody this morning and we just got our wires crossed. He then moaned at me for being ungrateful and rude, and he left for work, all the dishes still dirty.

I chased him outside and said he was really mean, that we always have breakfast together and he didn’t even bother asking me if I wanted any. He said I was ungrateful and “I don’t do fuck all”. He meant to show my gratitude but he didn’t say that.

This enraged me because he was holding the lunch that I’d made, the snacks that I’d bought with my own money. As a knee jerk reaction I said he can make his own lunches from now on, and I chucked the food out of his hand so it all spilt on the floor.

I feel so horrible now and it was all such an overreaction. We were both tired and got our wires crossed.
We have spoken and he said it’s okay and he forgives me, that it was a one-off, but I can’t stop thinking about it and beating myself up about it. I don’t know the best way to make it up to him.

Every couple argues, sometimes about stupid shit. Move on and forget it after you've had a proper talk.

Soooo..... you have been magnanimously forgiven by him even though he was a selfish ass, rude and entitled to boot?! I mean sure, your behaviour wasn't great but I would think at the very least mutual apologies are in order?!

Three days a week he makes NO financial contribution to food or staying over?

Goodbye sponging boyfriend is my take on this.

Honestly, this all sounds very juvenile. On both parts. I don’t see why you were apologising, when it sounds as though both of you were on a short fuse. But stop making him lunch when he stays over. It sounds as if you think his hands don’t work and he can’t think beyond making his own food.

(Also, who is ‘making’ breakfast for other adults on a busy weekday morning?)

I always buy/make him lunches for work.

We always eat breakfast together so this upset me.

He then moaned at me for being ungrateful and rude, and he left for work, all the dishes still dirty.

I chucked the food out of his hand so it all spilt on the floor.

The whole relationship sounds ridiculous & not in any way mature.

You are being a doormat, making his lunch with food you buy, and it's petulant to knock it out of his hand, albeit your feelings are understandable.

I'd reconsider the relationship.

If I stay at his he sorts lunch too, so it is mutual. And if we ever eat out or go out together, he covers the bill which is his way of contributing.

Petty squabbling over trivial and unimportant things isn't the foundation for a lasting relationship.

You both sound very immature.

You both sound very immature.

How old are you both? you both sound 12.
Just move on and get over it, seriously!
I think you need to get over the sensitivity of not eating breakfast together, you're very fortunate to be able to! some couple don't see each other very much in the week!
He also needs to stop being so selfish and entitled.
Just grow up the pair of you!

Just sounds like a silly argument. It happens and we say / do things we don't mean (if some of it was meant then perhaps have a chat about that!)

Don't sweat it too much, we all have off days.

He sounds like a twat.

Pushing food out of his hand so it fell on the pavement. I hoped you cleared it up. You sound aggressive. If a man had done that to a woman imagine the reaction.
It doesn't sound like a loving, tolerant relationship