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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Am I wrong for being upset with my parents?

3 replies

MotherGuiltAgain · 31/07/2023 00:22

My parents have always helped me a lot and I have always been grateful. Butnl lately they have been guilt tripping me constantly and all of a sudden.

It can be something as silly as me eating a chocolate bar from them and them telling me I eat all their food. But it can also be about them looking after my children and telling me how tired it makes them, how my children were demanding and they see them too often. (2 times a week). At this time I am working and trying my best to make a good life for my kids.

If they then dont see them for a few days, they say how much they missed them.

If I invite them out on family days at the weekend, they spend the whole time telling me how much they have seen us and that they need more time to themselves. I have always said they can say no.

If Mum ever cooks for us, she tells us its too much and we never pay but if my siblings are round, she doesnt seem to mind and they never pay their way. My parents still pay for most things even though they have also left home.

Lately I have felt so unwelcome around them. I genuinely feel like they dont want to see me or my children and it kills me. Today after more snipes I finally snapped.

They are now telling me I rely on them too much and they need their own life. That I'm ungrateful and everything I do affects them.

I hate myself because I can't understand how I am such a bad daughters and why they don't want me around.

OP posts:
Theblacksheepandme · 31/07/2023 00:32

It sounds like they just want a break. It doesn't sound to me like they dont want you around at all. I think you should sit down with them and discuss everything. Get them to open up and tell you what they want from you and your children. You could tell them what you want. You could all agree to something that makes you all happy.

Aquamarine1029 · 31/07/2023 00:35

My guess is that providing childcare for your kids is just much to much for them, and they are lashing out about other things because they are fed up and frustrated.

Chappers001 · 31/07/2023 01:18

Whilst it's lovely that they help with your kids, they aren't obligated too, and maybe twice a week many be a bit too much at the moment? I wouldn't be mad, but I wouldn't expect my parents to feed me and my kids, I regularly stock up my mum's freezer with food and snacks for my boy when she has him. Maybe you could take food with you when you visit? And give them more time to themselves, they are clearly asking for a bit more free time

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