Was this friend rude?

[whyohhi]

I was having a chat with a friend about something. The topic is irrelevant. I asked her two questions to clarify what she meant, and then said one additional thing. She interrupted me and said

"Can you let me speak, please?" In a pretty abrupt and I think, rude way.

I was taken aback, am upset, and just can't see the friendship continuing. She has apologised, by text. I don't think we have much in common, aside from our babies being born at the same time. She's a mum friend. She can be funny and we have had a good relationship up until now, but I'm feeling pretty down now.

What did her apology text say?
Were you perhaps cutting her off when you asked the questions?

thats rude and I’d feel exactly like you.

Did you give her chance to answer the questions before continuing? If you were firing questions and then went on to say something else without giving her chance to respond then it was quite rude of you to be honest.

She’s apologised so aware of it. I wouldn’t end a friendship over this.

Sounds rude but it does depend on the context really. I mean if it was something emotive and serious I can see why she might feel you weren’t listening and snap. If something completely innocuous then it’s a really unnecessary reaction and quite rude.

As we only have one side of the story yours, it sounds like you were over talking her trying to answer you.

Pointless asking MN when non of us were their and your only going to alter your story to back up your point of view.

It does sound rude and impatient but she’s apologised… maybe she was just having a bad day/ not slept/ was feeling for whatever reason like she needed to get something off her chest? Sometimes things can come out wrong. If you like her otherwise I wouldn’t write her off. But it doesn’t sound like you’re that enamoured

I did this years ago to someone, I said ‘can you let me finish?’ I still think of it, because it was so so unlike me, I’m not confrontational. However this person in particular never ever let me finish what I was saying. She interrupted constantly. If I said ‘I’ve booked a holiday to Spain, she’d be in there telling me when she went to Tenerife in 1996. She did it all the time. She was just a me me me me sort of person and I snapped. So yes I was rude, but it was after three years of hearing in the ins and outs of a rats ass about her life and me never speaking. She was shocked when I said it.

So yes your friend was rude, but is she normally like this? Do you dominate conversations? I notice when I’m out in cafes and restaurants, if you’re sat near two women chatting, there is one that speaks for 90% of the time and the other rarely gets a word in.

Well the context matters. You asked her two questions to clarify and then added something. Did you give her chance to answer? What was the extra comment? Sounds like you were barraging her with words and she couldn't explain to you

She said

"Love, did you get upset about my comment? I'm sorry"

I'm not sure. Perhaps I did, and didn't realise. I've tried replaying the conversation in my head but can't remember exactly if I did interrupt. I will ask my husband tomorrow as he was there too. He said later that she was abrupt and just to let it go.

Sorry op but from what you've written you sound exactly like an old friend of mine. She had to interject in every story with questions that didn't matter or would derail the original conversation. It was so infuriating and tiring talking to her because you would never get chance to finish what you were saying.

I was taken aback, am upset, and just can't see the friendship continuing

You're really going to end a friendship over one possibly rude comment that your friend has already apologised for? You are massively overreacting to this!

Maybe she was reacting to what she saw as your rudeness.

Were the questions you asked something she might have answered had you let her finish first?

Did you interrupt her to ask the questions or were they at natural breaks in the conversation?

Do you often ask lots of questions when she is trying to tell you something?

It's interesting that you see her as rude and you think that means you cannot let the friendship continue. Do you find you have had more than one friendship drift off because of other people's behaviour or is this a one off?