Food obsession

[flaggin]

Really struggling at the moment. I'm very overweight and have been since early teens. I eat secretly, and get into cycles of binging especially when very busy or stressed, where I could be planning my next food while overeating at that same moment.

I managed to lose about 4 stone following a health scare and being off work for half a year, so I could exercise at home during the day and map out meals. However, I think that became a bit obsessional too- tracking calories and exercise on apps.

When I returned to work, the stress levels steadily increased as I have been promoted. That meant I binged more and I've put 3 stone back on.

I don't know how to moderate myself. Yesterday, I restarted Couch25k and restarted counting/tracking food, which I haven't done for at least 9 months. I know it will help me lose weight, but how do I make it sustainable?

Sustainable is to admit own issues and work around them. Build habits, rather than only do temporary fixes.
When I had busy stressful time, I made sure I made meals for freezer so I wouldn't have to go for takeaway or something. It made massive difference. Be prepared, have food prepared, it kind of takes away some of the pressure.
I took lots I learned during calorie counting and still implement it in cooking today. Like, I can make lemon chickwn with rice for 450cal, when I don't need to lose weight, I just either add a bit of this and that or have something as dessert. I can use thighs instead of breast etc, but the overal habit of more veg in meals stayed with me (though tbf I always eat lots of veg and fruit as kid so it was more eating like I did long time ago than a complet life change).

As pp said as well, find new habits instead of harmful ones.

The issue for you though might be that you will need to probably work with someone on your relationship with food like the previous secret and binge eating. That will massively help you build up the rest to make it sustainable.

Thank you both. @Cheesusisgrate (awesome name, btw) what do you mean about someone to work with? A therapist?

I definitely need to get better at not giving in to takeaways- my husband is quite bad at suggesting one when I get home from work late and my willpower is down. Plus the cost of it is so huge now! We get our shopping delivered and I plan out evening meals, so as long as I stick to that, it’s okay. The little top up shops are my downfall- that’s when I pick up snacks and treats I don’t need.

This is an interesting article. If you don’t have a subscription you can sign up for a few free articles a month. She talks about food noise, which you seem to experience. There may be natural ways of reducing food noise.

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/health-fitness/body/ozempic-rybelsus-weight-loss-what-happens-first-two-months/

What works for me is planning everything in advance (including breakfast and lunch), and make note what is it you get in the top up shops and buy extra whilst doing your big shop, to avoid top ups. You need your husband to be on board so he doesn't suggest takeaways. Make meals for the freezer so you always have something available to just microwave or put in the oven. Look at some 'fakeaway' recipes. Focus on what you enjoy eating and adding more salad/veg to your plate.

Yes, @flaggin . Secret eating is not something normal to do and there may be something to look into so you can get out of the secret and binging cycle. It may be worth looking into it, as well as your thinking that maybe you obsessed too much during diet. Might just be some little nudge needed

Can I just add to the ozempic, that as there is currently shortage, maybe, just maybe, people should leave it for the people who need it for medical reasons?

Notice you said your husband is suggesting takeaways once you get home. Understably very tempting! Can you speak to him about having some dinner ready when you get home so you can both avoid too many takeaways?
Also making sure you're not on any extreme diet as it's always miserable when you're denying yourself completely. If you enjoy takeaways perhaps look into getting something like an air fryer and trying some of the fake away recipes, they're actually really tasty and feel like you're still able to enjoy food.
Obviously you're used to calorie counting and probably an old hand at all the classic diet tips so I suppose it's finding the ones you can add into your life without it being too overwhelming.
You're doing a lot with work and home life already so please be kind to yourself. It's all about small steps. You're not alone.

I have just started reading “You are not a before picture”

I realise that my excess weight is because I have an unhealthy relationship with food - I want to change that and I do hope that this will change my weight but I just want to accept myself. I think that - for me - having a healthier attitude to food, getting rid of the starve/binge cycles and the self-loathing might help. it definitely seems more sustainable?

I don’t know if this will help you at all but I feel happier and more positive then I have before about diets (which can have an initial fervour linked to the numbers falling on the scales but feeling hopeless if I fail)

You need to change your relationship with food. Instead of seeing things you like as a treat, firmly remind yourself that all food is merely fuel. Replace food with some other form of treat - I spend the money I used to spend on takeaways and sweets/ snacks on theatre tickets, trips out and beauty treatments, which make me feel good for a lot longer than a bar of chocolate did.

Thank you for your replies everyone- really grateful for your ideas and experiences. @EmmetEmma , thanks for the book suggestion. I'll see if it's on Audible to listen while I'm walking.

@BadGranny that's a good idea. If I'm brave enough, I could look back over July's bank statement at the top up shops and takeaways to see how much I've been spending. I think it's going to be a shocking amount, to be honest. But could add more to my savings and a regular treat. I saw a tiktok about ideas for treats, like having an unlimited cinema membership and just going every week to see something.

@millsiem and @Peony654 when I'm keeping track of my food, I tend to stick with similar breakfasts and lunches, just for ease. Breakfast is usually 2 eggs, mostly scrambled with a bit of marmite and a laughing cow triangle. It's quick, hot, filling and savoury. Cheese and savoury snacks are my main binges so I think that helps. I also genuinely like salad, so that is my lunch, either with chicken or cheddar cheese for protein.

Then dinners are a bit less diet-y, to accommodate my whippet-like husband. We have things like spaghetti bolognese, homemade burgers, salmon stir fry, chicken and chorizo paella, gammon or beef steak and salad, roast chicken, beef stew. When I'm not on track, I will often add cheese to my eggs in the morning, and skip lunch, then buy snacks on my way home from work- crisps in particular.

There is one habit that has stuck since first losing weight. I am quite low-carb when it comes to meals. I don't have bread very often, and will happily have salad instead of chips with the gammon, steak or burgers.

Yes, I think I need to get my husband on board. I don't tend to tell him when I'm 'back on my diet' because it feels like so much pressure. But he can eat anything he likes without putting on weight, so I guess I need his support with the takeaways.

Join Weight Watchers .
Lots of support, great food plans. And it works