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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be mad with Airbnb guest

66 replies

Carrotcake93 · 30/07/2023 11:58

I have a guest who is staying for 17 nights. She has only stayed three nights, and two of them she has arrived drunk, making noise and leaving the key in the lock on the outside, which is very dangerous, especially since I have a baby of only 6 weeks. The first night I didn't want to tell her anything and I left her key in a place where she can see it and retrieve it without asking. But it's already a second time and the next day, I can't tolerate this, but I don't know how to approach her politely without showing how angry I am. She seems like a good girl for everything else and she even brought me a gift for my baby. Besides, it's going to be too many nights here and I don't want to create tension. Any advice? Anything you have done in this situation? I'm horrible at hiding my anger

OP posts:
Ilikewinter · 30/07/2023 13:05

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Macaroni46 · 30/07/2023 13:05

Carrotcake93 · 30/07/2023 12:59

Thank you for your answers. Some don't answer my question but I didn't expect less from Mumsnet. It doesn't really bother me that she arrives drunk, nor the noise she makes as long as my baby doesn't wake up. I previously talked to her about my expectations and about the baby she was expecting (this conversation was when she was still pregnant) I also made it very clear that I would not allow her to bring anyone home no matter what. Normally she is never in the apartment and practically when she is she doesn't even leave the room. I have been staying for a year and practically my experiences were good. Nobody put me in this situation with the keys. For those who question about hosting while having a baby, I had many of these reservations before I knew I was pregnant and I decided to give it a try since as many of you know, SMP pays a ridiculous amount. Anyway, August is the last month I'm going to have guests.

None of this makes sense!
Who has a baby? You? Her? Both of you?
How long has she been with you?
You said earlier 3 days but your update suggests longer.
I'm not even clear who is renting from whom 🤷‍♀️
Your communication style seems very unclear so maybe she is confused about the terms of the rental ?

KateReddy · 30/07/2023 13:05

This makes no sense.

Original poster
Carrotcake93 · 30/07/2023 13:05

Nope sorry. English isn't my first language and I'm making it worst with Google translator 😂

OP posts:
HarrietJet · 30/07/2023 13:06

NewNovember · 30/07/2023 13:02

This is AI and a bad one.

Show quote history

Fucking hell Hmm

WoollyRosebud · 30/07/2023 13:08

Tell her directly not to leave the key in the door, once more and she will have to leave. Under the circumstances I doubt she would be refunded by AirBNB. She will also be getting a bad review from you which will impact her being able to book anywhere else again.

NewNovember · 30/07/2023 13:08

Carrotcake93 · 30/07/2023 13:05

Nope sorry. English isn't my first language and I'm making it worst with Google translator 😂

Ah ok apologies mumsnet is over run with bots atm.

Original poster
Carrotcake93 · 30/07/2023 13:15

I don't know how old this girl is, she's between 25 and 30. She also has very good reviews on her Airbnb profile (I don't accept guests without good reviews) and we had the conversation on the app when I found out I was pregnant. I advised all my future guests that there would be a baby at home and the rules change a bit. The place where I live there are tourists all year round, especially in August. People usually book me a year in advance.

OP posts:
MyOtherCarisAFerrari · 30/07/2023 13:16

You've been an AirBnB host for long then since people book you a year in advance.
And you've never had to confront anybody before?
It;s your home but it's also a business....

CaptainMyCaptain · 30/07/2023 13:16

NewNovember · 30/07/2023 13:02

This is AI and a bad one.

Show quote history

I agree - it doesn't make sense.

watersprites · 30/07/2023 13:17

It doesn't really bother me that she arrives drunk,

Why mention it from the off then?

watersprites · 30/07/2023 13:18

does MNs use AI to create posts or other posters?

Hoppinggreen · 30/07/2023 13:20

Who has a baby?

Watchkeys · 30/07/2023 13:21

If she had sight of the house rules before she booked, then she just needs a written reminder that she will be asked to leave if she keeps breaking them.

JudgeRudy · 30/07/2023 13:24

Carrotcake93 · 30/07/2023 11:58

I have a guest who is staying for 17 nights. She has only stayed three nights, and two of them she has arrived drunk, making noise and leaving the key in the lock on the outside, which is very dangerous, especially since I have a baby of only 6 weeks. The first night I didn't want to tell her anything and I left her key in a place where she can see it and retrieve it without asking. But it's already a second time and the next day, I can't tolerate this, but I don't know how to approach her politely without showing how angry I am. She seems like a good girl for everything else and she even brought me a gift for my baby. Besides, it's going to be too many nights here and I don't want to create tension. Any advice? Anything you have done in this situation? I'm horrible at hiding my anger

You left the key in the door because ....? Why not just tell her. It's common sense that she doesn't compromise the safety of others in the home or disturb them late at night. I would though expect a certain amount of late noise as she's probably socialising and getting in late. I'm talking doors closing, maybe a kettle boiling, shower/toilet etc. I wouldn't expect banging or music after midnight. What noise is she making? What makes you think she's drunk?
Do you have cctv, ring doorbell etc. Just show her the evidence and make it clear thst if it happens again she's out. If you can't do that, don't do BnB

Original poster
Carrotcake93 · 30/07/2023 13:24

Of course I had quite a few confrontations before for other reasons. This is the first problem since I had my DD and I have to say that my character has become softer with everyone when I was usually pretty strict. But as another post said before, I must not be nice in my own home. I'll make it clear that it won't happen a third time without me having to leave the house.

OP posts:
watersprites · 30/07/2023 13:26

I must not be nice in my own home.

tbf you need to be a bit nice if you're charging people to stay there.

Original poster
Carrotcake93 · 30/07/2023 13:28

I assume she comes drunk because I hear her talking on the phone (trying to be quietly) and her voice feels different. I also assume it for leaving the key there, and because yesterday morning she came desperately to the kitchen looking for water and I could see her hungover face.

OP posts:
InSpainTheRain · 30/07/2023 13:31

You need to be very direct about this. Ok she might have been nice to you and bought your baby a present, but so what? That doesn't excuse drunkenness and leaving the key outside. Tell her directly that drunkenness and lack of care around safety isn't acceptable and she needs to not make such a noise when she comes in and not leave the key on the outside and she needs to lock the door. I don't think you can tell her not to get drunk - but I'd strongly suggest that it would be easier for her to take care if she didn't get so drunk.

Watchkeys · 30/07/2023 13:32

Being drunk isn't the problem, is it, though. If she was sitting quietly by herself, watching a film with headphones on, and chugging her way through a bottle of whisky, you wouldn't feel this way. Deal with the actual problems that you have: the noise and the key.

Original poster
Carrotcake93 · 30/07/2023 13:37

Once again, I clarify that it does not bother me at all that she gets drunk. I don't even mind her noise because I can feel her trying to behave. The fact that she leaves the key outside bothers me. If I have mentioned that she comes home drunk, it is to explain why she left the key outside.

OP posts:
watersprites · 30/07/2023 13:38

just tell her about the key!

drpet49 · 30/07/2023 13:38

CoachBeardsJane · 30/07/2023 12:33

Why did you say yes to her staying for 17 nights when you had a baby? If her being there with your baby is too much?

Presumably you'd have to refund her her money.

This. What did you expect OP?

itsmyp4rty · 30/07/2023 13:48

Write her a note to make it clear it can't happen again for safety reasons or she will unfortunately have to leave. YANBU.

Whatswhatwhichiswhich · 30/07/2023 13:52

Leaving a key in the door would make me angry too, I would be worried about the safety of me and my child at night. Can your DP/H not deal with the noise/keys being left outside? I would find it easier to have someone else deal with this if I was angry.