To ask dh to sleep in spare room when he has a 4.45am start.

[TracyK]

I suggested it to him for tomorrow morning as ds had me up at 1.20am and 3.00am this morning and I'm knackered.

But he has taken the huff!

Seems totally reasonable to me. We sometimes sleep apart if the other one has an early start.
Give him some cuddles now so he doesn't feel he is being excluded then boot him off.

Don't think you are unreasonable at all, you both need a good nights sleep tonight, maybe he doesn't like the spare room, if so drag your duvet and best pillow have a decent rest in there while he sulks in the big bed!

When my DH has a very early start he puts all his clothes etc in the spare room so I dont hear him get ready, but he still sleeps in our room. I think I normally hear his alarm and mutter some goodbyes to him, but to be honest it barely registers at that time in the morning. If you're a light sleeper and will be disturbed by him it doesn't seem that unreasonable.

My DH would happily run away to the spare room when DD was still waking us up countless times in the night. He had an industrial pair of earplugs and would happily snooze away while I did the BF !

YANBU

When DS was younger, DH would have been very pleased to have the excuse to sleep in the spare room. And vice versa.

I take it DS is in with you still. Surely just in terms of him not waking up DS when he gets up would make sense.

Maybe you could put some hot water bottles in the spare bed, then when you get up at 3am you could get in the spare bed to sleep for the rest of the night.

If not I agree that he should get changed in another room from you and not put the lights on etc so he doesnt wake you up. DH works shifts and we both try to make sure the only bit which wakes the other one up is the alarm.

My DH was only too pleased not to have to be disturbed by the girls when they were babies if he had to be up very early, so would happily go to the spare room. Try approaching it that way, rather than it being about him disturbing you.
'Oh darling, you have to be up so early, you must get so tired with the baby waking you in the night, why don't you go to the spare room and get a good nights sleep before work.'

I blardy love the spare room! Before we had Dcs I thought We Had To Demonstrate Our Love By Sleeping In The Same Bed. LOLOL.

When I was pregnant with DS, I snored like a pig - sad but true. DH used to take off and hunker down in the spare room. It is also used for - having a rubbishy, sneezy cold/hacking cough; coming in very late from work (me - 2/3/4am etc); getting up very early for early flights (mostly DH). When DD was having her dreadful sleeping phase aged about 2 one or other of us would end up in there with her; if the DCs are sick and one of us has to be up with them, we will often have them in with us and the other of us will be in the spare room actually getting some sleep (on the understanding they will come in and empty the sick bowl when required).

True lurve does not mean everyone getting a crap night's sleep!

Couldn't he just lay out what he needs in another room so the he can get ready without disturbing you?

I wouldn't normally be woken up just by my dh getting out of bed.

My DH normally leaves between 3 and 5am, he gets ready in another room but if i asked bim to sleep elsewhere I would never see him!
I am a very light sleeper and I wake when his alarm goes off.
YANBU though especially if you are still up during the night with LO's

yanbu - dh and i have spent many a night in different rooms. Still have great relationship/ fancy each other etc, but sometimes other factors dictate

Maybe he equates it with the start of a slippery slope tho!!

tell him abscence makes the heart grown fonder

and him clattering about waking you all up in the wee small hours whilst he tries to put on his boxers by the light of his mobile phone breeds unutterable contempt

my dh gets up between 4 and 5 every morning,but he is an expert at doing it quietly and I can fall back to sleep easily.

but yanbu if it disturbs your sleep

ooh mazzystar - sounds like you've been there/done that LOL and retaining a certain angst about it!!

my dp works all different shifts but we still sleep in the same bed [although i quite like it when he is on nights as i get bed to myself!] i put my clothes for the next day in the spare room so as not to disturb him - his alarm does wake me and mine him but after 5 yrs we are used to it - i'd miss him if we slept seperately.

that said Y A N B U

YANBU - actually sleeping together, once the the first throes of lust have passed, is seriously over-rated IMO never mind one party getting up and thrashing around in the middle of the night.

Mind you I am v old and intolerant....

at all you people with spare rooms.
DP will sleep on the sofa to avoid disturbing me (eg, if he's home late after boozy night out). I'm a very light sleeper.

No YANBU. DH gets up early once a week and I often take to the spare room if I go to bed too late and don't want him and the creaking floorboards waking me up and vice versa. If I am up late then he doesn't want to be woken by me coming to bed when he has to be up early.

Your DH would benefit too if he isn't being woken by your DS, surely?