Getting changed at school - expecting too much?

[Caitily]

My DD has just turned 4, she is due to start school in September. As part of the curriculum they do both swimming and ballet. It states clearly that swimming/ballet kit should be taking with them on the day and they will get changed with help from TA/Teacher.
You can pick them up from the pool on swim day to help them get dried and dressed but if they are going back to school for an after school club or such they will have to get themselves ready with minimal help.
We are practicing really hard with DD at getting herself changed, dried etc. She just did a swim week with her summer camp where she had to get herself ready before/after and they told me she took a fair bit of time and needed some help.
The concern I’m having is the uniform she needs to get changed back into is a blouse with buttons, tights and such. DD is taking nearly 10 minutes to get changed whenever we practice, more when we add getting dried too.
I know DD will be one of the youngest in her year but AIBU to think they are expecting a lot from a 4 year old? Or do we just need to practice more until she has it down?

It does seem a lo, I think tho if she's clearly slow but trying, someone will help out.tbey can't just leave her to get herself to after school club, so they'll have to stay until she's sorted.

Just keep going,the more she does it the easier it'll be. Can she take her blouse off over her head without having to do the buttons?

Tights are a nightmare after swimming. Couldn't you get her some trousers?

DD wouldn’t wear trousers, she’s a nightmare for getting to wear anything other than skirts/dresses. It’s an independent school so while they say girls can wear the boys trousers I’ve never actually seen a girl wearing them.

Wow! When DS started school, don’t think they got them to change into PE kit for the first half term as the session would be over by the time they all got changed into the kit!

Does she need to go to after school club on swim day?

I’m trying to move my work schedule around to avoid it but as of right now, DH and I don’t finish until 5 so yes.

M&S do blouses and shirts that are entirely Velcro behind the buttons - you would have no clue it's not a "normal" shirt! Was an absolute godsend for my 4yr old who is also expected to wear a shirt (and tie!) from reception at her state school!!

Unfortunately this isn’t an option, the blouses have red piping on the them to match the uniform!!

She really won't be the only one, don't worry!

If swimming is last lesson, does your dd really need to put her tights back on on swim days? Idk how strict the school is about uniform.

If other parents are there to help their kids and in the changing room, they will be dbs checked. Hopefully they will also help the other children. When dd did swimming at her former state primary, they insisted on 2 parent helpers, one for each changing room. If they didn’t have enough helpers, swimming didn’t run. I helped several times and the children needed quite a lot of help. I also tidied and put clothes the right way round etc whilst they were in the pool as things get jumbled up. We still had to pay a nominal amount for lessons btw.

I get some parents with children at private schools would be pretty annoyed if mandatory helping were introduced. You’ll probably have a parents WhatsApp group sooner or later. You can share your thoughts with the other parents on there and ask for advice.

I should add, the boys were worse at organising themselves. Some boys would literally stand there expecting to be dressed. Well done for trying to get your dd up to speed.

They shouldn’t expect your dd to do it entirely herself. Changing independently is part of the early years curriculum so it’s good that they have plenty of opportunity to practice.

Tights are a struggle for many children even well into year one. All you can do is keep practicing. They won’t abandon your dd while she’s getting changed and they’ll just have to wait.

Part of the EYFS framework is to get changed independently. Keep preserving and she will be fine.

The parents are unlikely to be DBS checked. They'll be supervised by the school staff as per the risk assessment.

10 minutes seems within the realms of normal for a four year old – remember there’s bound to be someone slower, even if only the away with the fairies ones who forget what they’re meant to be doing and get distracted.

You could buy and install velcro strips in the blouse.

Or teach DD to only open the top two buttons and take it off/ put it on over her head.

I think the school are being daft about the changing though. In the private (US) elementary school my DCs went to, they let the students wear their PE clothes to school for kindergarten (age 5-6) and 1st grade (age 6-7). The amount of time saved was astronomical.

In particular, getting into tights for ballet is a ridiculous expectation for a class of 4 yos to manage on their own. Could your DD wear leggings or would that be just as fiddly as tights?

My 7 year old would struggle with that.

We do PE with Reception from week 1 and they are expected to change themselves; all 30 of them! It’s run like a military operation with instructions and all the children doing the same thing eg take off your shoes, put your shoes on your chair, take off your jumper, put your jumper on your shoes etc.

Make sure EVERYTHING is named including underwear on swimming days. Ditch the tights on swimming days for socks. Four year olds can sort themselves out when they have to.

Experiment with only undoing the top 1 or two buttons and pulling the shirt over her head.

I have arthritis, buttons are a nightmare. You can also get a button hook but not sure a 4 year old would remember to take it with her.

I think I'd send in a pair of socks to wear after swimming, let the teacher know that they are there as an option.

I would definitely send socks to put on after swimming rather than tights. Is there another parent who could ask to help her who you know if they were going to get their child? I know it sounds a big ask but they will become independent very quickly by doing it weekly. I agree with poster above - young boys often take far longer than girls on these situations!

I have taken similar age groups swimming. We do encourage parents to practise getting changed with their children as of course it is so much easier if the children can dry themselves and dress independently. But many will need a bit of help with something - buttons, tights, drying hair. You said she can do it herself but takes a long time of about ten minutes - this does not sound like a long time to me and I'd be delighted if they could all do that!

Hiya,

I teach reception and 10 mins is nothing honestly, try not to worry. We factor in ALOT of extra time to get changed because it is a nightmare at the beginning getting them all ready, it is like a military operation but they get there in the end! The best thing you can do is practise with her with a bag so that when she takes each thing off she puts it in her bag so she has everything together and that everything has her name on (We always end up with a pile of unidentified clothes after PE and a few wanderers who seem to drop different items all around the room haha!) It sounds like she's doing great though and they will be expecting them to need alot of help at this point x

Teach her to undo the top maybe 2 buttons and get her blouse on and off like a t shirt.

Tights are difficult if you're still a bit damp - can she wear socks instead?

Ah ok. We weren’t supervised in the changing rooms. The TA brought the children and collected them and the class teacher remained in the class with the remaining pupils. Class of 30 divided into 3 for the first couple of years then in half… I appreciate in private prep, there could be fewer than 15 to a class so may all go together.