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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be dreading sisters wedding a bit

7 replies

Theadora7 · 29/07/2023 23:02

My sister is getting married soon and I’m maid of honour, which I am really excited about. My toddler dd has asd and is also bridesmaid. The wedding is abroad in a town in the middle of nowhere and the venue isn’t really child friendly, there’s nothing for dd to do there. Most guests are going for about 5 days and there are lots of activities planned for the duration. However, none of the activities are suitable for my dd and I’m not sure what we’re going to be doing while we are there, my dd needs constant monitoring and will not sit down for meals or anything like that. We also have a DS who will be about 8 months by the time the wedding comes round.
I just feel like everyone else will be having an amazing holiday away but for my husband and I it will be a bit of a nightmare and we won’t be able to get involved in much of what the group are doing. I’ve mentioned to a couple of family members about my concerns but no one seems to get it, so maybe I am being unreasonable. I also want to do a really good job as maid of honour but have no idea how I’ll be able to focus on this. I also don’t want to put any downers on her big day.

OP posts:
easilydistracted1 · 29/07/2023 23:08

I can see why you're stressed. Are you in any position to find someone to be a temporary babysitter/ mother's help while you're there. However if your husband doesn't have a specific role in the wedding then isn't it mainly down to him. With you going to the key events when both of you can't go. And him going to the odd thing if he's particularly interested.

RandomMess · 29/07/2023 23:17

Step back as Maid of Honour? You will be so busy looking after the DC.

PragmaticWench · 29/07/2023 23:19

Could one of your parents take charge of your baby, so DH can concentrate solely on your DD and take her somewhere quiet whenever she needs it?

Aquamarine1029 · 29/07/2023 23:20

Your toddler is a bridesmaid? I'm sorry, but that's ridiculous.

Aquamarine1029 · 29/07/2023 23:22

Given that it's your sister's wedding and you are the maid of honour, your husband needs to step up and be the one who mostly takes care of the children on the day. He can manage.

nimski · 29/07/2023 23:24

Won't your close family help? My daughter has ASD and both my brothers and grandparents are amazing with her.

IveHadItUpToHere · 29/07/2023 23:25

Do you need to stay for the five days when you can't do the activities and your DCs won't enjoy being away? Maybe you can just go for two days.

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